26 minutes

Reads: 301  | Likes: 3  | Shelves: 2  | Comments: 3

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic


Heavy subject but a happy ending


To be cold
To be bitter
Is just a sign
You want something sweeter
Than the life you have right now
But like attracts like
Cold attracts cold
Opposite of science
But it's not supposed to make sense
It's twisted
It's confusing
It's messed up
It's convoluted
My brain is convulsing
Choking on this energy
It's dark and negative
But at times it’s comforting
See it’s crazy, and I am crazy
I have this thing in my mind where I'm always self blaming
To break that habit ain't easy
It's like being an addict tryna stop cold turkey
I'm hooked on feeling like I'm worthless
But on some days, it feels like this therapy is working
The greyness that once used to surround me
It's being erased slowly, steadily
On other days, the pencil doesn't do it for me
And it starts coloring in the clarity
That had just begun to become apparent to me
There's no guarantee
Of keeping myself happy
And the thought not only haunts me
It suffocates me
Like it has no place better to be
Like it's comfortable sitting in my chest making it hard to breathe
I'm numb
It takes over my body
It's dumb
It doesn't make me feel bad exactly
It's feels like I'm floating
Or on a boat going
Through the water
Then under and under
Drifting like I'm at peace
Consciousness is what I'm losing
So I stop trying
I try not to think of my life before
And I try not to think of my life after
I try not to think about the war
That I had given up fighting
I tried not think of all that was wrong
I tried not to think about what I was fighting for
I tried
But nobody would leave me alone
And nobody would ever let go
They won't let me fall in that deep sleep
That is going to reach us all eventually
"I won't let this happen again" they said
As I was pulled out of the ground and onto a bed
With bright light shining into my soul
Scaring the creatures that enveloped me as a whole
The blanket of pain that covered me
Was being cut off by a scalpel and scissors
Removed from my body like it was poisoning me
It's was a strong detoxification
So much that I forgot what my name is
Then someone told me that I can be whoever I want to be
That I should do what makes me happy
So I dumped out, threw up, and exfoliated.
I washed off, dressed up and put on foundation
I wore a pretty dress and looked at my reflection
And held out my hand, and made an introduction
"Hi, it's nice to finally meet you"


Submitted: September 21, 2018

© Copyright 2021 Vickie Kapadia. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Jim Green

I like it. I almost heard this as a rap song. Very nice. Thank you for sharing it. I encourage you to keep exploring and keep writing and posting.

Fri, September 21st, 2018 11:55pm

Author
Reply

Thank you! It actually was supposed to be a song but as I was writing it, it turned into this 26 minutes later. Thank you for responding to it, it means a lot!

Fri, September 21st, 2018 6:02pm

QrowTaheen

The aura of the poem is refreshing and forlorn. I feel chilly but strangely warm. Although, a weird new feeling it is not scorned, as said I applaud you and hope you continue creating. Whether passion or hobby, I am patiently waiting. Despite my plea, do not rush because good books are a difficult road through the brush.

(Lol rhyming is so enjoyable!)

Sat, September 22nd, 2018 12:30am

Author
Reply

Look at my profile, I'm also a big fan of rhyming! Thank you for sharing your awesome response! And don't worry, I have LOTS of poems/songs that I have left to share. I just discovered this platform so I'm excited to post and create here

Fri, September 21st, 2018 6:05pm

SimonClemens

This could still be a song. Just not with a traditional structure.

Sat, September 22nd, 2018 9:22pm

Author
Reply

If only I could sing, huh? I do have songs written in the traditional format though!

Sun, September 23rd, 2018 6:33pm

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