My World of Dark and Grey

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

I was never abused but the world break me. I’m still trying to find the pieces to make me whole.

When I was born I knew nothing

But the world around me

My family seemed normal

Nothing out of ordinary

Just a family with a child undeserving

 

Mother and father fought over everything

About money and me

After he cheated on her constantly

She stayed with him because of me

So I’m the cause of your misery?

 

I tried to fixed it when I was younger

But gave up when I’m older

The relationship is toxic

To love the company

And hate the being

 

You left us for a few months

With a whore you found

While browsing for porn

I was dying with pneumonia yet you left and didn’t care

That I was literally fading in front of you

In the cold damn floor during a winter storm

 

I begged mom not to take you back

That she was happy now without you here

But she didn’t listen to me

I’m just an ignorant child

I don’t know nothing happening at the scene

 

I had trouble at school today

Children would have fun with me

I’m the game they liked to play

A tool at their disposal

Until I’m forgotten and numb

I’m no longer any fun

 

They kept looking at me with daggers

Stabbing me until I gone under

The teacher would stare with blind eyes

I’m bleeding by my wounds

But force to clean up after I been used

 

They taught me things I am slow at

I didn’t understand a word they’re saying

Call me stupid without explaining

So I kept my mouth shut

I shouldn’t say ignorance stuff

 

They painted words on my skin

Calling me stupid, ugly, and fat

A joke meant to be laugh at

I covered the words with a cloth

Hiding behind a mask but it is too small

And it fallen off

It didn’t matter anyway

They had the pleasure to look away

 

I been beaten over and over

A rag doll being toss over

The rails of a ship

Sailing across the world

In the Sea of Worthlessness

Unforgiven

 

I been dead for far too long

As a zombie craving love

I wanted for this cycle to end

I hanged noose on a ledge

 

But someone did it ahead of me

I saw the consequences before me

Do I really want this?

To pass the suffering to another

And finally be in eternal bliss?

Such a selfish decision

 

So I lived as a croupse

I didn’t want them

To blame themselves

For my dumb action

 

I told them I need help that

I’m fighting an endless struggle

I told them clearly

That Sometimes I feel like

I’m not good enough

To be with the living”

They looked at me with dismay

“Why? Are you crazy?”




 


Submitted: September 25, 2018

© Copyright 2021 C.L.G. All rights reserved.

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