I told him I was fine

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
He is my friend, the best I ever had. I knew that.

Submitted: September 29, 2018

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Submitted: September 29, 2018

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He was the best thing, the greatest, the most wonderful thing I had ever had.

He gave me a reason to be happy, to wake up every morning, to think and to put in effort.

 

He talked to me about anything, honestly and intelligently, like no one else would.

He would work with me,

He would play with me,

He would be smart with me,

He would be stupid with me.

He would be my best friend.

 

He spoke to me about the world’s darkest secrets, the smallest most insignificant things.

He advised me on the troubles of my life,

On love,

On hate,

On passion,

On revulsion.

I could open up to him, and he would respond honestly and thoroughly.

 

I told him I was fine.

He said words that cut me,

He said criticism that tore into me.

He talked in ways that stabbed me.

His opinions shot me,

His honesty ripped out my kidneys.

His restlessness ripped out my lungs.

His lack of empathy ripped out my mind,

And his disrespect ripped out my heart.

I told him I was fine.

I really was I was okay.

 

He always made absolute sure I knew his thoughts, on everything I did.

He hated the way I never changed for him,

He hated the way I was so childish compared to him,

He hated the way I was always so lonely,

He hated the way I was so quiet and condensed.

He loved to make sure I knew in full detail his opinions on me.

I told him I was certainly fine.

I really was.


 

He never talks to me anymore, after our connection was broken.

He tricked me, sabotaged me and the few friends I thought I had.

He is glad he has nothing to do with me anymore.

I can’t forget him,

I keep his words in mind, his thoughts at current.

I still say I’m fine.

I really am.

He is my best friend.

 

The one who hurt me, ruined my life,

Made me feel worthless, unhelpful,

A waste of air, a disgrace to God and all the people who ever crossed paths with me.

He made me feel these things.

But he is my best friend,

And I’m fine.

I really am.

 


© Copyright 2018 Conann. All rights reserved.

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