la llorona

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic
okay so this is my first short story on this website so it’s probably really bad. please leave any and all constructive criticism, i would really love to write full fledged novels and sell them so it would really help!!

Submitted: October 01, 2018

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Submitted: October 01, 2018

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My friend and I had woken up to the alarm we set the day before. Why we set that alarm I don’t know. We creeped downstairs carefully as to not wake my mother and quiet as a mouse grabbed two pop-tarts and silently picked at them on my front porch. The cool air was whipping at our faces making our hair fly into our face and our noses redden. About ten minutes later, we had finished our pop-tarts and as we went inside, we heard a low moaning. We both recognized it immediately. It was la llorona (the crying woman). The story goes “There once was a beautiful woman, she was so beautiful that every man in her village wanted to marry her. One day a very handsome man arrived in the village. He was riding in a very expensive carriage. The woman soon fell in love with him and they got married. Although the man was very wealthy, they lived a quite humble life. About two years later, the man left the woman because she was getting old and less beautiful with age. Many rumors were spread and the woman and her children had nothing. One day while the woman and her two children were walking, they saw a carriage, and inside that carriage was the woman’s ex-husband holding hands with a beautiful, younger woman. She swelled up with anger and got so mad that she threw her two children into the rushing river. Swelling up with regret and sorrow, she jumped in her self with hopes that her and her children would make it to heaven together. But sadly, she had committed two major sins: murder and suicide, and was doomed to become just a spirit desperately searching for her children.Now it is said that she still roams the streets at night moaning and crying for her children.” The moaning was getting louder and louder, closer and closer. I had to shove my friend back into my house as she was paralyzed with fear. As I turned around to shut the door I saw her. As she was floating onto my porch and reaching for my hand I stared into the blank abyss that was her eyes. Although black as coals they looked foggy. A sudden despair and empathy washed over me as if I was diving into a pool of depression. As I heard the banging and sobbing at the now locked door, I felt my arm reaching over to open the door. I didn’t stop it. I laid my fingers on the lock and my friend had evidently came out of her coma like state. She moved so fast that I heard the “swoosh” of her hand reaching over to knock my hand out of the way. She grabbed my hand and led me upstairs. We got sleeping bags went into my moms room and tried to get some sleep. I heard the creak of the front door, the moaning voice and it all went black.


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