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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Religion and Spirituality  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: October 03, 2018

A A A | A A A

Submitted: October 03, 2018




It is like being it a cold, darkened room- alone. I can see the door and it is slightly opened, the light is coming through, but I can’t move. All I want to do is go to the door, but I am frozen. The room is cold, I can see my breath, but there is nowhere to go and it’s indescribably lonely here.


There are blankets in the room, but they give very little warmth. I try different blankets, sometimes they work for a little while and sometimes they don’t work at all. Sometimes I try the more familiar blankets that used to help, but I am still cold. I still look at the door, I still want to go there, but I can’t move even when I try. My legs feel like lead and my arms are filled with sand. Heavy.


I wonder how I got here- in this room? Squandered dreams, I think. I started to chase them or walked away from them- I am not really sure which. I can’t catch up to find where I left them now. I don’t feel sorry for myself. I just can’t seem to move. From the outside, the room was alluring, captivating. I was seduced by its promises. It was mesmeric with warm rays of light, but when I entered, it was dark.


The charm of the room has faded. The promises of the room have grown unfriendly. I am a stranger here now. The biting cold and the frost on my fingers give way to more loneliness. “Just go to the door”, I tell myself, my lips pressed together to keep them from freezing.


As I stand in the room, I realize that most of my relationships are not sustainable. They are not built on real things. I am not real. I can see that now. When I am in the room, they don’t come for me. They sometimes hand me a blanket, but they never look at me anymore. I just want to go through the door. Pretty soon, they even stop handing me blankets and the door starts to close. I can see fewer and fewer rays of light through the crack in the door.


I can hear people on the other side of the door. The world is going on without me- I am stuck in the room.



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