Accidental Drunkeness

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Three construction workers find themselves enjoying their evening just a little bit too much...

Submitted: October 08, 2018

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Submitted: October 08, 2018

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The night had started innocently enough, three colleagues, working away from home managing a large construction project decided to treat themselves to a relaxing evening in a highly recommended local Public House. Famous for its food they were told.

Now pubs and bars are of course just for drinking, restaurants are the place to eat, but actual restaurants seemed few and far between out in the darkest home counties, so local advice was sought and taken and a table booked in a pub!

Gavin and I arrived first, cars safely parked up and taxi phone numbers saved to our phones. We could drink a pint or two legally and safely in this weird county without the aid of modern conveniences such as Uber.

Gavin was the steel and precast concrete manager for the project, truly a man of steel and to use his words “an erection specialist". His ability to manage three one hundred tonne cranes on a logistically challenging build can’t be questioned. But then neither could his ability to talk. I was tired so as often happened I simply left the initial conversations to him. I had learnt early on in the project that when he paused, as most people do to allow others to participate, three slightly awkward seconds later he just carries on all alone.

Two pints and half hour into a pleasant monologue Mick arrives, the Project’s Contractor's Responsible Engineer, a well paid and important position required as the project is for a train operating company, next to a railway line and closely monitored by Network Rail.

To my surprise the bar staff clearly knew him. I hadn't noticed them come around the bar to hug any of the other customers. Why hadn't he mentioned this earlier? But alarm bells didn't ring quite yet. We were shepherded to a table and presented with menus and for no apparent reason a tray with five shots, Sambuca. The young blonde behind the bar Magna, turned out to be the manager. Shawna the other girl behind the bar introduced herself and we all downed Sambuca shots. Shots before dinner! As they enthusiastically welcomed Mick back to their “restaurant” we missed another alarm bell.

Dinner, whilst not restaurant quality was nice, lovely in fact, a series of sharing boards that should have fed six, but we are big men, enjoy our food and were clearly hungry Particularly Gavin, whom it seems has amazing stamina of the jaw in more ways than one.

So the food was consumed but we were not in a restaurant, we were in a pub and as we know, pubs are for drinking, so we drank, beer initially then we drifted to shorter stronger drinks, gin and tonic for me, Grey Goose Vodka for Michael whilst Gavin kept changing his mind as he regurgitated drinking story after drinking story.

Magna and Shawna appeared at regular intervals always with shots, always joining us and always clear that these were on the house, and never allowing the sin of an empty glass before us. I could easily blame Magna for her overly enthusiastic hospitality, for she fed us Sambuca and was far too quick with the refills, but no, for reasons I struggle to understand let alone be able to explain I blame Mick, to be clear I don’t think it his fault but blame him I do.

We are construction managers, our ages range from 50 to 68, we have very responsible jobs and are, as they tell us on our regular safety training courses both morally and legally responsible for the operatives under control along with the public passing the site. In the old days we drank lunchtimes and went back to work, but in those days we didn’t wear safety clothing or hard hats either.  Now quite rightly we have a zero tolerance to drugs and alcohol and are subject to regular and random testing.

Accidental drunkenness is a serious thing and indeed it became obvious we had drunk a tad too much. The signal, the alarm that no one could miss was Gavin ordering more scotch eggs and being asleep at the table prior to them arriving.

Experience kicked in, we realised we must deal with the situation Mick had caused and ensure that we were properly fit for work by the time we got there in the morning. Our tactics however differed significantly in technique and implementation.

Gavin, first off the mark engaged a plan staggering in its ingenuity, in sleeping at the table he got his head down in a timely and responsible manner, ensuring he had a full eight hours sleep whilst deploying the double whammy. His drinking ceased with immediate effect.

I called a halt to the drinking, other than the final shot which sadly had already been poured and “can’t be put back in the bottle” and summoned two of the county’s most expensive taxis. I took the first with Gavin and dropped him at his digs on the way, cunningly I used the rest of the twenty-minute journey efficiently, I slept. The benefit of starting at 5pm is of course you can still have a good evening and be in bed by 11pm, so I drank water and slept until 5.30am moved around, drank coffee and ate. But the genius part of my recover plan, I had arranged to be in late the next day, just in case!

Now Mick, as the eldest and most experienced member of the group, a tough man who started his career digging tunnels by hand, a clever and focused man who dodged his way through the difficult and blame orientated employment environment that is the Railways. A man who understands the importance of team work and protecting not only yourself but close friends and colleagues.

Mick watched us leave, smirked and calmly ordered another drink, he cancelled his taxi. Pleased to see us sensibly and safely heading to sort ourselves out, to get ready for the following day’s work. Pleased because he knew that we would make it to work on time, would cope with the days activities and he would hardly be missed. We later learnt he left the pub at 3.30am, felt rough the next morning so popped back for a couple of straighteners and aa scotch egg.  We didn’t see him for three days, he knew we would cover for him! Now there is a man who understands teamwork!

 

 


© Copyright 2018 C S Bennett. All rights reserved.

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