the verge of life and death

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: October 10, 2018

A A A | A A A

Submitted: October 10, 2018



I can see a little girl and boy playing and laughing on the other side of the street. From my veranda to the street I can vividly hear their joyous conversations. I smile at that thought because I remember something. I shifted my head upward and witnessed the bloody sun is slowly setting down on the south of the sky while the clouds are calmly moving on the side of the sun. Summer time, it is where you can bring back memories. Reminiscing all the old days is a perfect time to smile and look back life. I never knew what life is until she came in my life.

The wind blows slowly and peacefully embraces my arms, I know she is here I can feel her presence. As I close my eyes and see her image standing in a white dress. She moves her lips and gently formed a smile as her eyes glistens. That wonderful smile I’ve been longing to see that washes my grumpy day. I do wish I could turn back everything.

A tiny liquid drop on my cheek and I slowly trace my left cheek and found a tear. It’s been twenty years since she left. Well, I am not young enough to chase everything. My eyes are blurry to see things, my legs are too tired to walk and run, my hair is pale to be exposed outside but my heart is no obsolete to love her. This love of mine for her is eternally. I am William McKinley, a sixty-five year old man.


I saw her again sitting on the pavements of our school. She was alone and seems that she doesn’t like to talk to anyone. There she goes again, I kept on telling her that if she wanted to talk to somebody else, I am willing to hear all her woes but she shuts her world again. She doesn’t want everyone to help her.

I immediately went home and maybe I could talked to her later .Our house is just a few blocks away from school. As I reached our house, I remembered something. I glanced at the calendar, one month to go its promenade day. I don’t have plans to attend prom because just said me that we were going on a family trip. Maybe this would be a valid reason not to attend on the event. I looked at my watch and it was past 9 o’clock in the evening. I should better go to sleep now.

I was about to pulled down the curtain when I saw Celeste sitting under the mahogany tree. Yes, she was the girl on the pavement earlier. She is Celeste Lockhart, the girl living across the street and my best friend. My own feet urged to walk as if it has its own mind. I don’t have to turn back instead I sit beside her. We both stared at the glimmering stars. No one ever dared to start the conversation. We both feel the cold breeze lingering on our skins.

I don’t like the deafening silence and started talking. “Celeste, is everything alright?”I asked her.

“Yes, everything is alright” as she gestured her hands upward convincing me that she was totally fine.

“Why are you alone lately? I haven’t seen you hanging out with Dobrev and Clea.” Well Dobrev and Clea was also her close friend.  I was worried because lately she didn’t talk to me or to her friends.

“Don’t let me start this again, Will. Look, you know me so well. I get easily pissed off on things.” Her smile faded away and I can see her cold eyes again.

“Celeste I am your friend and if you have problems you can talk to me. Don’t let yourself eaten by your problems.” I told her while patting her back. She looked away and she set her eyes on the sky to avoid from crying. “He is back and I think he keeps on hurting mom. I don’t want him home. He is the reason why I am suffering this freaking disorder.”

I hug and told her “If you want to stay on our house, you can Celeste.” She chuckled like I was stating a joke. I immediately released her from my hug.

“Seriously, I’m not mocking you. Anything that I could do I will offer it to you.”

She frowned. “I hope it’s easy as that, Will.” She stood and started walking across the street. I stared at her back while she was slowly closing the door of their house. I can’t help it. I let out a heavy sigh to release the weariness at the same time the feeling of being worried about Celeste.

She is Celeste Grace Fanning, my best friend since we were nine.  She has a straight and brunette hair and has a bipolar disorder since she was ten years old. It’s been eight years since she suffered from her illness. The reason why she had that kind of disorder was because of depression and too exhausted. Her mom and dad were separated. She had a better life than mine, her mom was a business woman and her dad was a lawyer. She had everything but that’s not the case, her mom and dad kept on arguing about money and about their marriage. Celeste’s dad had another family. Her mom decided to broke up with her dad. Her mom was grieving because of her decision. She had no to look for Celeste instead she keep herself busy to forget his husband. Until one day, Celeste attempted suicide by drinking a lot of medicines. Fortunately, her mom saw her in their bedroom laid down unconscious. After that incident, they consulted Celeste to a psychologist to examine her condition. From that moment, I always keep an eye on her. Her mother even told me to talk to her.


Weeks from now it’s the promenade. My body doesn’t have any stimuli to respond the feeling of excitement as what like others did. Our teacher dismissed early from our usual out, I went home to finish my performance task in physics. I was about to close my window when I saw Celeste standing outside of m window with arms crossing on her chest.

“Anything wrong, Celeste?” I asked her with a sudden confusion, days ago when I observed she doesn’t talked to anyone.

“Want to go on our favorite spot?” as she grin and pointed the mahogany tree. It was favorite spot since we were kids and used to look up at the stars every night.

“Yes, no problem. Wait.” I jumped off on my window and started walking with her.

“Not excited with the prom thingy, huh?” She asked me without meeting my gaze and started staring at the bright sky full of stars.

“I suppose your mom and dad are fine?” I asked. “I think so, I am still hoping that dad won’t waste the chance that mom given to him.” I know this situation really affects her.

“Can I ask something?” I turned my head and looked at her. “What is it, Will?” and she looked at me. I let out a big sigh “Please, don’t do it again. You do know what I mean. You don’t have to end this. I mean there’s still a solution.” I don’t know why I did it maybe I am afraid of losing her.

“Will, if you are on my shoe. I know you’ll do the same thing.” She avoided her eyes on me.  “You see, Celeste. I am willing to help you, if you want a break that can chill you on maybe I can help you.” Yes I was stupid to say that thing on her.

“Do you remember way back when we were kids? We wanted to go to Osaka, Japan to see the cherry blossoms.” She turned her head on me and smiled.

“Yeah, we used to imagine this mahogany tree as a cherry blossom one.” Her eyes were still locked on the swaying leaves of the tree. “Can you promise to me one thing?” She blurted out of the blue.

“Yes, what is it?” I replied hesitantly. My heart’s beat was like raising and palpitating beyond from its normal.

“If the time comes that I can’t make it. Can you see and take a picture of the most beautiful cherry blossom?” She pleaded like a child wanting some candies. I looked in her lonesome eyes. A single word couldn’t come out in my mouth. She stood up and patted on my shoulder and walk away. I left hanging and stunned.






Dear Will,

I know it is hard for you and to all the people I left behind. Someday, I hope you will understand what I truly feel. There are words I left unspoken those words you are longing to hear. First of all, I want to express my warmest gratitude for all the things that you have done as well as for making me happy always and for reminding me that I am not alone. Second, you are the most wonderful person I’ve ever crossed. I should apologize for being stubborn and sulky all the time. I will always cherish those days that you always reminds me to smile. Lastly, I don’t have bunch of courage to say to you what I felt. I always want to run and throw my arms at you but I can’t. I ways want to whisper those words but I am scared. Now that you are clearly underneath the cherry blossoms and reading this letter of mine, I want you to know these three words long.


Lots of love,



The flower of the cherry blossom tree falls every five seconds. I fulfill the last words from her. I take all the courage to read her letter. For the past few years, it takes me so long to decide whether to see the place she told me to go. After she died because of the car accident the day after we talk under the tree we used to imagine as the sakura tree. I don’t know how to face the world again. It seems that I am too attached in her world. Until one day, I realize that I do it for the last time. I am not young anymore and too old to catch up everything.

I smile and stand under the tree we want to see. I am here. I will always be the man who will love you eternally. The breeze touches my old heart and it makes me young ones again. The smell of the flower filled my heart and it feels so good to be in love.


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