The Wolf Inside

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: October 12, 2018

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Submitted: October 12, 2018

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its been so many years now
I don't think about it much
usually only when
Im asked to tell a story
from a time in my life
that came before

I used to drink
often and quite a lot
as I wrestled with my darkness

I got into fights at times
and yesterday I looked at my hands
at 46 years old
scars like bite marks
on my knuckles
weathered and faded
from the old days

I had a hell of a left hook
or at least I thought I did
but I suppose that its all bullshit
because I remember very little
but confusion
and pain

the truth is
it hurts to fight
even if you're the one standing at the end
sometimes especially
if you're the one standing
at the end

that cowboy shit
was just part of me
coming up emotionally
without many tools
and taking swings at things I had shoved
way down deep
inside

I feel regret
for those times
I had so much
I was running from

I still stay out of most places
that have that smell
of desperation
and bile

those who've also passed over
know that scent
instantly

an old timer
"in the rooms" said early on
if you sleep with dogs
you're gonna get fleas

Ill always remember that

and the morning I chose
to become a wolf

that's when things
began to change


© Copyright 2018 peter engen. All rights reserved.

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