Summer With A Chance Of Love

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


Please read at your own risk trigger warnings in this chapter

Chapter 10 (v.1) - chapter 10: too many feelings to count

Submitted: July 17, 2019

Reads: 38

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Submitted: July 17, 2019

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Two weeks and no sight of Taylor, two weeks and I can still feel the regret of kissing him on my lips. The worst thing is that I have to keep lying to myself that I didn't like when I did. Sometimes I wish that there was something else that I could do or say to Taylor. I wish that day that I went over to Noah's I would have never even had sex with him. The only good thing about all this is that Angie is back. I wish that I could open up to her about this and tell her about Taylor without getting all defensive on me. I'm laying in bed with Noah as he had one arm around my back peacefully sleeping and I just looked up to him as he is sound asleep. He looked so handsome when he was asleep. Now that I guess that we are now a thing officially I'm sorta happy. Sometimes things are more complex than what some people make it out to be. Like for an example, Noah doesn't like to talk about his family nor does he want me to ever meet them. Another thing is that when you have sex for the first time they say it is supposed to be a honeymooners phase. Well, I can say that it is like that for me and Noah we are pretty much never apart even when he is working. Then there is the nonstop having sex phase. Which is fine because it fills the hole that is thereafter Taylor. Sometimes I wish that I could just admit my feeling for Taylor, I know that it would never even work out between me and him and that is the saddest part is knowing that. That girl that he is with just makes me so angry because I can't have him. I wish that I could just explain that feeling to him but it's hard for me to just go and do that. I got up and went to the restroom and also hoping that I could finally see Taylor once again. When I got to the window I looked out of the window, praying and hoping that he would be there, but he wasn't. I looked down at the ground and used the restroom. After that, I just looked at myself in the mirror hoping that I could see something that I didn't before. Then suddenly I felt arms around my waist. 

 

“Why didn't you wake me up?” he asked me snuggling his chin next to my neck. He was so close to me that I could hear his deep voice that he had when he woke up. I looked up at him before turning around to him and looking at his muscular arms and shoulders and before I could respond I found myself wrapping my arms around him and kissed his lips. 

 

“Because you were sleeping so good I didn't want to wake you,” I said to him with a little bit of deepness inside of my voice. 

 

“Mhm well you could have woke me up babe you know I love to be able to see your face every time that I wake up,” he said to me I just smiled at him and then kiss his lips again. 

 

“Shouldn't we be getting ready to meet Angie and Justin for the movie or whatever it is that we are going to tonight?” I asked him then he looked at me with a slight confusion on his face 

 

“Oh yeah but that isn't till a few more hours right?” he asked me 

 

“Yes but we are meeting them somewhere totally new and I have no idea where this place is,” I said to him as he looked into my eyes again 

 

“Okay then we do have enough time for this,” he said to me before I could think I felt Noah's lips on mine again but this time it was more lust than passion. As he felt up every inch of my body almost making me tremble in anticipation for every move that he makes. The best thing about being in this relationship is that Noah makes every single move. He knows almost every sweet spot on my body. He moves to my ear. Witch is one of my sweet spots. Hearing he breathe as he nibbles on my ear makes me almost anticipation with every move. Once he stopped nibbling on my ear he moves down to my collarbone. He sweetly kisses it as my moan slowly becomes a whimper. Noah looks at me with that crazy smile he always gets when he gets into the mood. Before we could even think our shirts are off and our pants. Everything was on my floor and we were naked on my bed out of breath my head was on his bare chest. I looked at him and smiled. I never thought that I would be having sex this summer, but Noah is someone that I least expected to even think that I will be falling for him. I was laying in bed with him tracing circles on his chest while also looking up at him while he was on his phone. It was only moments like this that I felt the hole that was in punched inward in my chest gone. 

 

“Happy two weeks,” Noah said to me as he pressed his lips onto my forehead. I just flashed a smile at him and then reached up and kissed his lips. His deep voice echoed in my head as I looked up at him.

 

“Happy two weeks,” I said back to him. As I reached over him and grabbed my phone seeing that I had five missed calls from Angie. “Well, Angie is wondering where we are at,” I told him as I got up from the bed looking from my things. He sat up on the bed and looked at me.

 

“Have you told her?” he asked me I looked at him as I looked at him when I did I could see the sadness in his eyes as if he was ashamed of me not being able to tell Angie that we were dating. in which was not the truth at all. In this very moment, I wanted to shout out to everyone in the world that Noah was my boyfriend, but  I don't know what was it was with me. It was like everything in my body was telling that I was wrong for even saying that I wanted to be with him. I looked at him this time with sadness in my eyes I didn't know if what I was about to say was going to be the right thing or not. 

 

“No I didn't Noah I'm going to as soon as I can,” I said to him, I saw that Noah looked down at the bed I didn't know if he wanted me to tell everyone right away or if he was afraid of coming out to everyone. All I knew was that he had that face of disappointment. I wished that there was something more that I could do.

 

“When are you? It's been two weeks since she has been back” he said to me'' I wish it was not like that you were ashamed of us” he said to me and I just looked away

 

“I'm not ashamed of us it's just complicated right now,” I said to him without even looking at him. 

 

“How is it complicated when its just nevermind,” he said to me but then getting on his clothes. I just could not let that go on. I know that I had to tell Angie but it was just so hard to cause Noah has been our best friend since middle school and now that I am dating him. It's just hard because what if everything does not work out between us now. What if it ruins our friendship as it did all those years ago. 

 

“I just don't want it to ruin what the friendship we already had,” I said to him before he could even reply a knock on my door “who is it?” I asked 

 

“It's me,” my mother said through the door, I and Noah looked at each other and quickly got dressed before my mom could come in.

 

“Come in,” I said almost out of breath, cause of me getting dressed so quick. My mom came in and followed her was Angie. 

 

“Angie is here johnny,” my mother said 

 

“Hey Ang,” I said to her with a half-smile I saw that Noah didn't even look at her at all. I wish could just come on out say but I looked down at my feet and just choose to say nothing. 

 

“Oh my god where have you guys been,” she said to me 

 

“Uh, my house why?” I asked her 

 

“Cause me and Justin have been waiting for you two for almost two hours now what have y'all been doing,” Angie asked me 

 

“Um well-” I was cut off by Noah before I could even speak

 

“We were asleep,” Noah said in a down voice tone

 

“Okay well let go cause Justin is waiting for us in the car,” Angie said to me and Noah 

 

“Angie, could you give us a few?” I asked her and just nodded and walked out. I looked at him this time and grabbed his hands and looked at him. “Please just give me time Noah ill tell her when I'm ready don't rush this okay?” I told him as I took his hands and kissed him gently. He took a deep breath and then looked at me. 

 

“I just don't want to hide this for as long” he said to me “I've read online what being in the closet does to couples like we are, and I don't want that johnny to happen to us just don't let that happen to us,” he said to me with some of the most passionate words that I have heard from since that day that he told me his feelings for me. Suddenly a pit in my stomach filled with regret. I wanted to cry but not in front of him. Since that kiss with Taylor, I don't know my feelings for Noah. I knew that I was supposed to be with someone who isn't like Taylor someone confused, who is possibly straight, but with just one kiss it was like something that I hadn't felt before. Sure Noah's kiss was great but with Taylor's, it was just something else that I could not figure out. I looked down at my legs and remembered that I haven't cut in almost two weeks. So I must be doing something right, right? I took a breathe before I spoke.

 

“Okay I'll tell her,” I said before he could start I stopped him with a finger “on one condition” I finished 

 

“Witch is?” he asked with almost a half happy grin with me 

 

“You take me out on a date this weekend just me and you and no one else,” I said to him as he smiled at me before taking my neck and embracing me with a kiss. Once the kiss ended we went downstairs. My mother stood at the end of the stairs. Mother hasn't been drinking for almost two weeks now. She has been able to hold down a job too. She was still craving it every now and but my mother was going to AA meetings. Which for me was a good thing because I could go out tonight and not have to worry about her. 

 

“Johnny remember your curfew is at 1 tonight and no later,” my mother said to me as she smiled happily towards me. I haven't seen her smile so big since Keegan died. I sighed at the thought that was rolling in my head. I wanted to put that in the back of my mind and turned to her and told her.

 

“I will not even out pass then,” I said to her 

 

“Okay and be safe,” she said to me and Noah as we walked out to Justin's car I saw Angie and Justin being all cutesy cuddles. I looked to Noah and I just grabbed his hand he almost looked shocked that I would do this soon. I saw Angie looking straight towards me and her mouth fell open. As we got into Justin's car Angie almost looked at me right away. 

 

“When did this happen? Why didn't you tell me? And Noah you better not break his or I'll be breaking something of yours” she said to me so fast I swear I could get whiplash from it. 

 

“We have been dating for about two and cause someone was too busy having sex all the time with her boyfriend,” I said to her as she threw a glare to Justin 

 

“Hey I'm innocent over here don't be giving a glare down,” Noah said as Justin starts up the car

“Boy, I swear the next thing you are going to be saying to me is you guys are having sex,” Angie said as I and Noah just smiled and then looked at each other while holding hands. 

 

“If we ever did I would tell you all the details,” I said to her while goofy smiling with Noah in the backseat. It was moments like this that I loved the most. All four of us being with each other. Driving to wherever Justin was taking us. I leaned on Noah's shoulder. It was almost as if I felt so safe with everyone here. I had Noah who loved me, Angie my best friend, and Justin the guy who just is here with us. Before I could think my eyes were growing heavy and I fell asleep on his shoulder. Suddenly when I woke up from the car ride we were at a bar. 

 

“What the hell?” I said half asleep still 

 

“Don't worry we are getting in for free without id a band is playing here tonight?” Angie said to us as we got out of the car. It was until I saw him that I knew who was playing tonight. I saw him for the first time in two weeks. He changed his hair. It was long but now it was shorter than normal. He was dressed in a tank top that showed off his arms. His scar that was on his left arm was showing. I looked at him and then he looked at me too. Our eyes met that day. The tears that I felt were wanting to burst out now. I looked away before he could come over here and talk to me. I saw Angie and them moving away from me, I put my head down and left to catch up with them. I wished that there was some way that I could just disappear. Here I was in line about to see someone who I can not even explain my feelings for is here. I tried to look down and just not say a word. When we got in me and Angie went to find seats while the guys were going to go get us some drinks. I looked up to see the band that was playing was his. I didn't want to look at him, but it was hard not. He was like a drug that I keep on wanting even tho I do not know anything about. If I could just talk to him and tell him that I'm sorry about it. For him to at least just to talk to me again. I looked at him while he was playing his guitar, it reminded me of when I used to stare at him through my window. It was also like I could feel every word that his strumming. I noticed that there was the same girl that was singing was the same girl from that day. This time she was more I don't know how to explain it, but she was I guess happier. It was like he didn't even notice me staring at him. I wish that I could be the one he was singing at. I remembered how those lips felt on mine. The smoothest yet the roughest at times. I wished that could be someone else instead of being in this relationship that I kind of force me and Noah into. It wasn't till Noah and Justin came back to the table that my attention was on them. 

 

"Wait isn't that Mae Clockwise" Justin asked for Noah. 

 

"Who?" I asked Justin 

 

"Mae was the girl tried to commit suicide four or five years ago," Angie said to me 

 

"I thought she left town?" I said to her in surprise,

 

"Same here but she came back after she graduated her border school this year," Justin said to me. I looked at her. I didn't even know that she was like that. I noticed how her arms were covered they never showing when she was singing. I looked at how she was singing when came to her slow song. She how her voice sounded hurt each time that sung. Her fingers how they grabbed the mic. When it was finally over she looked so relaxed. She went over to kiss Taylor. That's when I excused myself from the table. I went to the bathroom and closed the door. It was like my chest was about to explode. I needed to breathe instead of having this pain that was in my chest by seeing them together. I wanted that to be me and him. Before I could think. The door slammed open. It wasn’t someone that I knew. He pushed me back into the stall. My legs trembled as this happened. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't talk, I could not scream. I was motionless with fear that was in my eyes. It was until he tried to make a move that I fought back. He whispered in my ear. 

 

“Hello again, its been so long since we last saw each other” the voice said as he had me pinned against the wall. I kept asking if he could just let me go but with each time I tried to break free from his grip. It grew stronger and stronger, it wasn't till I looked into his eyes. For a second I could have sworn that they were red with evilness, but at the same time, I knew that they were the same eyes that I knew before. They were joseph gurney’s eyes. I was overcome with fear and panic. Before I could close my eyes before the tears that kept on coming before I could still see the face that scares me. All I wanted was to have Taylor save or hell someone else at this point. When it was all over the pain that I felt was twenty times worse then what it was. When I got back to the table we were about to leave. Noah didn't even say anything probably because he was drunk. I just stayed quiet from the whole way back. It was when I finally went into my house and closed the door. I sighed in relief that Noah nor Angie was here. Before I could even think about it all. My eyes just burst into tears. The tears filled the emptiness and pain that I called a void of a heart. I looked at my wrist and saw that there was still a bruise that was forming. Before I could even pass out. The last time that I could even remember was hearing a voice. It was a voice that I could remember. 

 

“Johnny please stay with me kay?” the voice said “don't leave me just yet” before I could think I passed out.

“Johnny please stay with me kay?” the voice said “don't leave me just yet” before I could think I passed out. “Johnny please I need to stay with me” the voice squeezed my hand. I could make out the face but I could tell that it was a male’s voice. I didn't know who or what happened but I wanted to close my eyes so bad. “You need to calm down johnny you're having a panic attack a really bad one I need you to breathe for me” the voice continued to speak to me. When all I could think was of what happened. Why didn't anyone come and save me? “There you go your coming around remember you are in a safe place” the voice continued to talk with me as I lay down to what seemed like my bed even tho I don't remember getting home. “You are safe johnny you are safe nothing is going to happen to you now,” the voice said as I closed my eyes. I could have sworn that I saw my brothers face or at least hear those calming words. My eyes grew heavier and finally, I drifted off to sleep.

 
 


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