Summer With A Chance Of Love

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 11 (v.1) - Chapter 11: A disarray of emotions and pain

Submitted: August 24, 2019

Reads: 30

A A A | A A A

Submitted: August 24, 2019




Part two: hard times 


When I woke up that morning I didn’t remember what happened. I looked at my phone. No messages. My mind was not in the right place. I lay in my bed with discomfort and pain. My legs still felt shaken I couldn't remember what happened. All I remember was that once I got home I fell asleep. I got up or at least tried to. My legs were so shaken that I could not stand up. I went to the bathroom once I finally felt like I could. I looked at the mirror and saw myself. I saw the newly added self-harm scars. Not even a word into my self and I started to cry because of the flashback to last night. Some guy, who knew me. But I didn't know him to force himself onto me. Tears. That was all that was coming down to my face. It was long until I dropped to my knees and started to cry even more. Everything that I felt was just as simple as everything. I clenched my chest from the pain and guilt that I felt. Till I felt like I was normal once again. Everything that I knew about myself everything that I held to myself is gone. My phone rang and I went to see who it was. I read who the caller id said it was Angie of course. I just let it go to voicemail. I crawled back in my bed and texted her.


“Hey sorry, I'm not feeling well will talk you, tomorrow :)” I hit sent to her and just crawled into bed. My eyes grew heavier and heavier. Until finally I just said fuck it and went to sleep. It wasn't like that I wanted to stay awake or go and do something. I needed to just leave everything that was happening to me, but sometimes the pain that I feel affects my dreams. When I finally drifted off again. I tried to sit here and look at my phone just to stay awake, but I couldn't stay awake. It was just disarray of emptiness for myself the past couple of hours that I was asleep. It wasn't till I felt something hit me on the head when I looked up at what hit me I saw Angie and Noah. 


“Get your ass up out of that bed,” Angie said as she put her hands on her hips. She was chewing her gum with extra sass, she only does that when she knows something isn't right. I just sighed and sat up with my messy ass bed head. 


“You are coming with us whether you like it or not,” Noah said as he flashed a smile. As much as I wanted to hug him. My heart ached in pain like never did before. I looked at both of them and wished that they would just leave me alone already but if I know them they would be here even if I didn't want to get out of the house. 


“Can you give me a second to get dressed?” I said to them as I tried to hide the scars that were on my legs. Angie looked at me and then before I could say another word. Angie left and along with Noah to give me the time that I needed to get my clothes on. I found something to wear and threw it on. I sighed deeply as I got up from my bed and went into my bathroom to fix my hair. It was all messy from my lack of caring for what I wanted to see in myself. I sighed and then looked into the mirror. I saw that my eyes were still puffy about last night. I looked at the window hoping to see him. I didn't even see him at all. I looked down wished that I could be someone else just for a day just to get away from all the mess that is stuck inside of my head. I wished that I could just run. Run as fast I could to somewhere that I just forget about all my problems. I looked down and just took a deep breathe as I saw Noah in the doorway. Apart of me knew that I could always trust Noah. I just wished that I could love him as much as he did me. Everything in my heart wanted to be with Taylor, but deep down I knew that I couldn't be with him. from


“You ready?” Noah asked me as he looked at me with those eyes of his that I couldn't even resist it. I leaned up to him and kissed him. As he smiled and then looked at me. I pulled him into a deeper kiss. As all I hoped for was just be with him for as long as I could breathe. I knew that every part of me wanted to be with him every second of every day.  “What was that?” he asked 


“Yeah, I'm ready now and what I can't just kiss you,” I asked him as he looked down but then he smiled at me again. 


“Well if that is the case then” he stopped as he grabbed a shirt that I was wearing and kissed me again. I felt his hand go on my face and cress it gently. Every second of every moment I will always remember this. I clenched my hand into his and grabbed his shirt to deepen the kiss. It wasn't long before I and he heard a knock on the door.


“Are you two done in here I'm not getting any younger out here?” Angie said as I and Noah looked up and saw her seeing him on top of me. “Come on now yall have all day tomorrow to make out and kiss whatever it is that you two do,” Angie said to us as Noah kissed me once more. 


“Well now you know how I and johnny feel about you and Justin always making out,” Noah said to her. As she looked at him and then just gave him the middle finger. “Such language Angie,” Noah said to her as he put his hand over his mouth making me laugh at them. 


“Come on, let's go,” Angie said as she rolled her eyes. As I got up from the bed and followed them outside the door. Before I could think us out on the road walking to someplace. That I haven't a clue what it was, but I didn't care. I love moments like this it makes me happy just thinking about it. Talking about the most random of things. Like how when we're all in mr.luther’s class and Angie kept wanting to call him to Lex Luthor because of how evil he was to everyone in the class, or how once someone let chicken out in the language arts hall in middle school, or how Noah sat there and laughed so hard at Angie when she mispronounced words to Shakespeare. I love remembering the good times. It doesn't make me want to relive every bad moment that has happened to me. When we finally got to where we were going. It took me a second to realize that we were at the place where we met Noah. The smallish lake with the mossy green that covered it with the barb wire fence that was around it. I looked at them strangely and to my surprise, there was a reason that we were there. 


“You remember how all three of us met?” Angie said to me and Noah. As I looked at her with my eyes flushed by the bright light that's shining in front of me. I moved back towards the tree that was shading the sun.


“Oh my god yes I do” Noah spoke loudly as I looked at him and saw how Angie looked at Noah. I put my hands behind my head and looked up at the branches that were on the trees. 


“Those were the days where we had little to no troubles or worries” I finally spoke as I continued to look up at the branches. The next thing that I realized was that all three of us were laying down on the grass looking up at the tree branches. I smiled this was something that I needed. 


“I remember how you sat there in that exact spot as I tripped over you running for practice for track and field,” Noah said to me as Angie looked at him. Angie sat up and looked at Noah. 


“Yeah, and I also remember how I almost beating your ass for making me break the new phone that I was so happy that I got,”  Angie said to Noah. I could not help but laugh at that because Angie back then was so protective over me. I guess that's why she is the way that she is now. 


“Oh yeah I remember that phone your dad bought it for it because he didn't want you to have a taser on you or pepper spray,” I said to them as I chuckled. I looked at them as Angie was laughing too hard about it as Noah looked confused as hell.


“Why did your dad doesn't want you to have that,” Noah asked as he looked so confused. Angie looked at him and playfully pushed him down on the ground. Noah grabbed hold of my shoulder before he falls all the way backward. 


“Cause of boys wanting to have sex with me or something like that but my mother just told him to give me a phone because it was safer,” Angie said to us as she looked up and thought of something. “You know now that I think of it probably because he thought that I was dating johnny,” she said as she laughed and then that's when I sat up. 


“I do remember that,” I said so fast that I burst out laughing. Noah looked even more weirded out. 


“When did he stop thinking that? I mean no offense to you johnny but I kinda knew when I first met you ``Noah said to us as he looked at me and Angie. Angie looked at me and I did the same to her. 


“Oh when he came out to me and then my father heard it,” Angie said to Noah 


“My god that was one of my horrible moments,” I said to them as Angie looked down when I said that. You see when I did come out around that time my father and mother were already going through the divorce. My father was already verbally abusive towards me and it got worse once I finally came out. My father still to this day thinks that I am straight and I want to keep it that way. Angie was the first person that I told. My family was next. Now I just keep my head up high and try not to let my father get to me. After we sat there and talked more and more. Laughed some too along down that path. Everything seemed fine. It was like what I was upset about seemed to be a distant memory. It was like at this moment I could just let go of it all. It was not until Angie said something that we realized that it was late.


“I can't believe that it's only the middle of summer,” Angie said to us as Noah and I looked at her. 


“I know next week is senior pictures,” Noah said to us. I didn't want to think about next year is our last year together and then all of us possibly going our separate ways. It was that I wasn't looking forward to. 


“Yeah,” I said looking out into the lake trying to think of something else to say, but I couldn't think of anything. 


“Shit I haven't started college applications,” Angie said to us as Noah looked at her with his eyebrow raised at her. 


“Slow down there let's get through the summer before you go all college crazy on us,” Noah said as he chuckled I looked at Noah, I loved how he smiled just in general, I leaned over and kissed Noah's lips to shut him up about college. Angie looked at me and him and like seriously. 


“Okay love birds I think it's time for us to be getting home,” Angie said to us as she finally got up and brushed off the grass that was leftover on her pants. Noah looked at his phone. 


“Shit I need to be getting home too,” Noah said to us, as he stood up. I was still sitting. I didn't want to go home. Not yet at least, I need to be alone. 


“I think that I'm gonna stay for a bit,” I said to them as they looked at me.


“Are you sue?” Angie asked me 


“Yeah I'll be fine,” I said as grabbed my phone and waved it to them as they chuckled. 


“Text me as soon you get back to your house,” Noah said to me as he bent down to kiss me. I smiled back at him when I looked at him.


“I will babe,” I said to him as his hand ruffled my hair.


“Okay okay enough lovers come on Noah walk me home,” Angie said as she looked at me and then flashed a smile that looked like a serial killer's smile. I wanted to laugh but instead, I just looked out into the lake as the sun was setting in the horizon. The colors of orange and yellow filled the lake. It almost looked too beautiful to be real. As I looked at it, it brings me back to when I first met Taylor. Back at the riverside, as much as I wanted to force myself to forget that it happened. I can't, I won't be able to just forget his face, how it looked when the water was shimmering on it. I won't be able to forget the way that he had that scar on his upper left arm. Then his tattoos that covered the lower half of his arms. How they were there just be covering something that he wanted to cover up, or how his hair also shimmered in the sunlight. I leaned my back against the tree that was there. I wished that he was here. I wished that I could feel those soft lips. They weren't like Noah's his were more soft and gentle unlike Taylor's whose were more like I don't know if it was like I felt something more right I guess. I just stood there and looked out into the sunset again. I wished and hoped that I could talk to Taylor and explain it to him, but how would I even explain that to him. I looked down at my legs and hoped that tonight that it would have been an entirely new world that I could just start over. Sometimes I wished that all this could just go away. Before I could even get back on my feet there was a guy standing in front of me. I looked up at him and saw that it was those same eyes from last night. The same hair that I saw from that night. The smirk that was coming across his face. My heart was racing rapidly. 


“Hello johnny?” the guy said to me that is when the voice clicked inside of my head. As I looked at him with the fear that was setting, just looking at him was too much for me. He bent down and then looked at me, why was this happening to me again. He took his hand and rubbed my cheek as he went across to my lips “still have those boyish lips I see,  you have no idea how much I miss them” he said to me with his husky deep voice. I looked at with fear inside of my body and just like that, I wished that I never said to be alone. My only place was ruined for me. The one place that I had the happiest memories that I've ever made. As I looked at him with everything that I wished that was not even happening to me. Before I could swat his hand away from me he grabbed my neck and pushed me down on the ground. Everything that I wanted to fight with myself, but mostly I just wanted someone to come and save me. As he got his pants down to ankles. I tried to fight him every step of the way. he reached around my waist and unfastened my pants pulling them down to my ankles. I continued to fight him still. It was until I felt something. It was his hardened member fully erect that he pushed it inside of me as I screamed out loud from the pain of me not wanting him inside of me. It was not until I heard someone’s voice that hears from the distance call out.


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