Summer With A Chance Of Love

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 7 (v.1) - chapter 7: what else is there to say?

Submitted: April 23, 2019

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Submitted: April 23, 2019

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CHAPTER 7: What else is there to say?

 

All I could do was be frozen in fear with Noah's hands wrapped around my waist. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to think or say. My mother just stood there in the doorway looking down I could not even think about this. She almost looked disappointed at the fact that I just kissed a boy and not a girl.

 

“Mom I can explain,” I said to her quickly trying to avoid the rush of panic that was coming over me.

 

“I do not have time for this Jonathan just get in I’ll talk to you in the morning,” she said as she disappeared into my house. I looked back into Noah's eyes and try to see if there was anything like that again. Just trying to find a way to know that our kiss wasn’t something that was wrong. Instead of him say something he just nodded at me and then flashed me one of his smiles. Making me think that everything was going to be okay. I went inside and went straight into my room and saw Angie. She was sitting on my bed. She looked shocked, my guess was that she saw what happened.

 

“Are you okay?” I asked her hoping that she didn’t see anything that happened out there.

 

“I should ask you,” she said which meant that she knew, she knew that I kissed Noah.

 

“Yeah I am fine,” I said to her

 

“Can I just ask one thing?” she asked me

 

“Sure?” I said unsure on what was about to be asked

 

“How long? How long have y' all been well you know” she asked me, how long? That's a question to the explanation of my life. There have been so many people that I've had like it's not even. I wished that I could just say that I had liked since my brother's death but that would be a lie. It would be a lie.

 

“Since my brother’s death,” I said laying backward with a sigh now on my back looking up at the ceiling. “For him, I don't even know how long it been, it's just been so damn confusing like last night he kissed me when he was half drunk and then tonight he kisses me again what I am supposed to do Angie?” I asked her

 

“Well, for now, i think that you need to just think about what you might face tomorrow” Angie said to me with a serious face, I didn't know what to think I didn't know if she liked the idea of me and Noah being together or if she just didn't know what to say.

 

“What does that mean?” I asked abruptly to her. Almost thinking that I should not have said anything like that to her. She looked like she was hurt. Like she was hurt big time by something.  

 

“It means better be prepared for something tomorrow,” she said as she turned over on her side, for a second it took me back, then I realized that she did not know what to say. If there is one thing that Angie is big on and that is respecting her boundaries. I just let it go and left the room for a second I thought I could hear crying coming from the door. I wanted to knock and ask her what was wrong but I didn't. I went into the living room and turned on the tv. I noticed that my mom took no time on getting another bottle of wine from the cabinet and then went back into her room. The only thing that I could think of was wanting to cut. I told myself not tonight just not tonight. I looked at the picture that was sitting next to the couch. It was from my family back when it was a family. Suddenly it doesn't feel like one. Now my best friend is upset at something and I couldn't figure out what it was. My only thoughts were on Noah. Why did he have to come over and kiss me like that? Why did I have to like him so much? Why did even have to kiss me? Those were my thoughts before I fell asleep on the couch. The next morning when I woke up I heard my mother and my sister getting into a screaming match. Once more, I had to endure it all without the safety of my own room. I had to hear it all as I laying there asleep.

 

“This is why you can't get a job mom!” Jeanie screamed at my mother

 

“Is this why you go out all night?” she asked her with her voice booming across the room

 

“No I'm out all night to help pay the bills since you could not seem to do it if it was not for me we would have no house we would be living out on the streets cause guess what your a horrible mother, you have never been a mother to any one of us” Jeanie said to my mother. I could almost imagine my mother's face. She looked horrified at the fact that my sister would say something like that.

 

“Well you can blame your father on that one” my mother recalled to Jeanie “if he would just pay the damn child support then maybe i could have given you the childhood that all three my children needed but instead I'm waiting on a check every damn month till the day that Jonathan turns 18” my mother yelled this time. My mind was racing and didn’t need this. Listening to my sister and mother go back forth. I know that I need to get out of the room. My chest ached with hearing them argue and that is when Jeanie said it when she said those words.

 

“And this is why Kegan is 6 feet underground he probably killed himself to get away from you” Jeanie screamed at my mom. I stood up from the couch and walked over to her

 

“Never say that ever again, Kegan would never ever do that to mom and you know it I don't know what the fuck your problem is with mom but you need to know that he would never do that to mom,” I said to Jeanie with a hard but rough voice. My mom and Jeanie looked at me.

 

“Look who finally grew a pair,” my sister said to me

 

“Who me? Just because I'm silent and never talk doesn't mean anything but I know one thing Kegan would be turning over in his grave with the way that you are talking to mom like that Jeanie you might be angry cause you can’t do what you want but never ever say that to mom” I said to her. I looked at my mom and all I could see was the tears that were running down her face from what my sister said to her. I walked over to my mom just hugged her. My mom hugged me back and just whispered thank you to me in my ear. After that, I just walked away and went into my room and I saw Angie still asleep on my bed. Pulled the covers that were still made up on my side and slid in my bed and rolled over on my side and fell asleep. I put up with so much bullshit in my own house that it should be a crime. Between my mom and my father, I can't wait to get away sooner. Life would be so much simpler if I could just live it. That Texas tho for you. I wish that I could be able to live in my world but that all changed when my brother died. Before I could close my eyes it hit me that I said my brothers name for the first time in a long time. I wish that I don't make a big deal about it but the truth is I don't want to be over this. Whatever happened to my brother shouldn't have been done. They took my brother away from me. Sometimes I would just rather forget that I had a brother. Then if I did it would just cause me more pain in the end. I took my phone and looked at for a second. Looking at my background and seeing that it was my brother in the background. I let a tear run down my face. A second I wanted to ball but I held back my tears. I closed my eyes and fought them back as hard. It wasn't till after I finally just gave in to the sleepiness that was on my eyes that I just fell asleep.

When I finally woke at the sound of Angie singing in my bathroom. I looked at her as she was putting her hair up in a ponytail. Before she could look at me I noticed that she was humming something. It's not like that she doesn't hum. This was almost too happy for her to be humming. She was also putting on makeup. Witch only meant one thing she was going off with Justin somewhere for the weekend which also meant that it was their anniversary, Angie wasn't that much of a romantic like I am. Hell, she didn't even believe in marriage if it wasn't for Justin sweeping her off her feet she would probably be a nun. Even if she wasn't all that religious. I lifted myself off the bed a little making my bed squeak. She turned to look at me.

 

“Well finally you are up,” she said to me

 

“Yeah, I am,” I said to her still groggy from just waking up.

 

“So Noah and you?” she asked me I just looked away as my heart skipped a beat. “Oh don't you dare look away from me and do all that I am not talking to his shit,” she said to me

 

“I don't know what to think about the whole thing,” I said to her trying not to think about it Angie did her famous eyeroll.

 

“And I just want to know if this is gonna be a thing,” Angie said as she continued to put her makeup on.

 

“I know you do it just as confused as you are I wish that I could tell for myself if he likes me,” I said trying to sink back into my bed

 

“Johnny for a romantic for are seriously not seeing that Noah is totally into you,” she said as she was smacking her lips together. Noah into me no he wouldn't be into someone like me.

 

“I don't know Angie he just kissed me,” I said to her

 

“Twice” she replied back to me

 

“Okay, what if he does like me what am I suppose to do? Cause if he does I don't know what I will do I've never been in a relationship before what if we break up and then everything like the whole Sarah jane thing again” I asked her

 

“One it will never be like that because I will make sure that won't, two you're overthinking this whole thing, Noah is someone who you have known your entire life well almost,” Angie said “and three” she came over to me and grabbed my hands and took me to my mirror. “Look at yourself Johnny how would he not want you, you need to give it a shot trying is something worth without regretting it later” she said to me “trust me I know that it's scary putting your heart out there but if you never do then what the point” she said to me boosting myself up more and more

 

“You know sometimes you can be a real pain in the ass,” I said to her as she just laughs making me laugh nervously.

 

“Oh and next time someone kisses you and you don't tell me I will gut you like a fish,” she said while putting the finishing touches on her makeup.

 

“Duly noted,” I said as I got out my bed “now can I have my bathroom?” I asked her

 

“Yes because unlike you I have a long romantic week and remember what I said about Noah,” she said pointing at me as she exited my bathroom and went out of my room as I heard the door close to my room. I let a groan out loud while taking off my shirt. I looked at my the scars that were now newly fresh on my arms. I touched them slowly feeling each bump of the wound. Before I could think I noticed a pair of eyes watching me. I looked outside my window and there he was. He just looking at me. I didn't want to be a creep by just taking off my clothes right there but I knew that I had to get into the shower before I went to meet up with Noah. Taylors gaze was still there as if he was right there next to me. I wanted to think of him right next to me and having him touch and kiss me, but I knew that if anything came of him, it would just be us being friends. Harsh but true, Noah was my first kiss. I wanted to be with him. I knew Noah for so long and I don't know if it was just because he was someone that I knew or if it was because I fell for him so hard after my brother died. All I knew was that I wanted to explore wherever this part of my life led to. I got undressed and went into my shower thank my window was that big to where he could see my fully naked body. I washed my hair and body as I heard my music play in the background. I started to sing softly. Not loud enough for you to hear but it was enough for me. Once I got out of the shower I saw Taylor kissing some girl that was in his bedroom. I took a deep breath and then got into my bedroom and started getting dressed. I went to my door to open it and saw my sister standing there in the doorway.

 

“What the hell Jeanie?” I asked her screaming at her

 

“I was gonna knock but I figured that you were still asleep,” she said to me

 

“What do you need me to watch mom tonight or something?” I asked her as she looked down at her feet.

 

“No i was here to tell you that Noah is here and-” she stopped halfway like she was about to forget the words that she was about to say but then she opened her mouth again “and to say sorry for what happened this morning it was wrong of me for saying that about keygen and i should be more kind to you-you all the family that we have left” she said to me

 

“Thanks, Jeanie,” I said to her as she walked away from me as I walked down the stairs to see that Noah was standing there. My heart almost jumped out of my chest. He was right there, he was so close to me. He has never been inside my house with my mom awake. The nervousness was hitting me like a ton of rocks. That I wish that he was never even here. I reached the last step and saw him looking at me.

 

“Johnny hey man,” he said sheepishly

 

“Hey,” I said to him nervously wishing that I didn't want to say just hello.

 

“Um I'm going to the park do you want to come with me?” he said shyly

 

“Yeah,” I said to him as I grabbed my shoes to move over to the couch to put them on. I noticed that Noah was looking at the pictures that were hanging on the walls. He never looked at them while he was here when my mom was asleep. Today I guess it was different since he was here when everyone is awake. He stared at the picture of when I was younger. It was with my sister and my brother and my mother and father. It was also one of my favorite ones and one of my best memories. I still remember that day. I got my shoes on and went next to Noah. “Admiring the pictures?” I asked him while he looked at me

 

“Yeah I am,” he said “especially this one,” he said while pointing to the one that was just of me as a toddler. It made me smile that he actually took an interest in this.

 

“This is my favorite one,” I said to him as I took it off the shelf the one of my whole family.

 

“Witch one is your brother?” he asked as I pointed my brother out which wasn't hard because he was in his ‘i hate the world phase’ at the time I flashed a half smile when I picked up the picture to put it. I guess Noah noticed it because he flashed one right back.

 

“Ready?” I asked with a deep breath going outward

 

“I am if you are?” he asked back at me

 

“Yeah, I am,” I said to him as we walked out of the house and started to walk toward the park. It was silence while we walked. My mind was filled with my thoughts. Like ‘why was it so awkward between us’ or ‘why is this happening now?’ when we finally reached the park my heart started to race. When we reached it we didn't stop to sit down. We walked all the way to the second part of the park that was there. Hearing the leaves crunch as we walked. I wanted to ask him why we were going here? Again I didn't even think to ask about it. When we finally reach the area that he led me towards. He finally ended the silence that we walked.

 

“So how much trouble did you get into last night?” he asked me

 

“Not much my mom just went back into bed,” I said to him, I wanted to ask him so damn bad why he kissed me last night and the day before. I didn’t tho, instead, I just stood there looking at the little stream that was there in front of us.

 

“Johnny?” he said with a husky voice that sent chills down my spine.

 

“Y -Yes?” I stuttered towards him while I picked up a stick on my side and threw it across the other side of the stream.

 

“Do you like me?” Noah asked me as my cheeks flushed up with redness. I swallowed my spit faster than anything. I stayed silent I didn't know what to say or do. He was my first kiss. Now granted I never thought that I would be admitting my feeling for him right here and now. Hell, I didn't expect any of this on the first weekend of summer. When I looked over and saw how hard he was studying my face. I looked into those eyes of his, and I wish that I could look into them forever. I saw his hand and I wanted to hold it forever. All I ever wanted was for someone to just look at me like the way that he is looking at me right now. “Johnny?” he said my name like it was something out of a romantic movie. I looked away from him for a second before inhaling the air that was around me.

 

“I do,” I said to him with a sigh coming out “I just don't know if you do,”

 

“Why do not think that I like you?” he asked me

 

“I don't know cause you never even paid a lick of attention to me I never saw that you liked or caught wind of you liking me,” I said to him before he could even say a word. He looked at me and then flashed a smile at me.

 

“So you had no idea that I liked you?” he asked me

 

“No,” I said to him

 

“Why do you think that I always offered to take you home when we hang out with Angie?” he asked me

 

“I just thought that you were being nice,” I said to him which is the truth “then what about you and Sarah Jane-” he cut me off before I could even say anything. He grabbed a rock and held it in his hand

 

“Sarah was my past and to be truthful I don't know about my sexuality, I wish that I could say that I have a feeling for girls and guys but that's not even close,” he said to me in a lower more settled tone. as he took the rock that he picks up and threw it. “When I kissed you that night at Angie's it felt right and then when I kissed you again last night when I was sober everything never felt better” he said “I don't know if me and you are even right for each other but I wanna try it I wanna be able to share a part of me with you that not even Sarah Jane has seen and to be truthful I wish that me and you could be like Justin and Angie going away for the weekend, and getting caught almost having sex, and me seeing at your worst and at your best as long as it is with you I know I don't care if anyone sees us kiss I don't care if anyone is shaming us, because I know that I will love you” he finally finished talking. It was like a passion that was pouring out of him. Those words that he said to me. Almost made me want to cry. I looked at him and this time I was for sure knew what I wanted. This time I was the one that engaged in it. I grabbed his hand and squeezed while looking into those beautiful brownish eyes before I kissed him. It wasn't like the first time at all. I didn't know what I was doing all I knew was that I was in the moment. At first, I could tell that he was shocked when I did it, but then I felt his lips push back onto mine. For a second I thought that this was right. He wrapped his hand around my neck deepening the kiss. I didn't mind it at all, I enjoyed being kissed by someone who felt the same way as they did for me. He was the first one to pull away. We stayed in the same position. We just looked at each other for a second before smiling at each other letting both of us know that it was okay. It was silence after that, mostly because I didn't know what to say. It wasn't till he finally spoke that the silence ended.

 

“So what does this mean for us?” he asked me which was a good question I didn't want him to just use me to figure out what his sexuality is. I knew that I didn't want that. I also knew that I liked him. I looked at him. I could see the same eyes that just kissed me. I liked the way that he cared about me. I just didn't want to be used then thrown away like a piece of trash.

 

“I don't want to be someone that you just figure out your sexual orientation to I want to be in a real relationship,” I said to him I almost wanted to regret those words that just came out of my mouth. He looked at me like he wanted to get up and leave.

 

“Are really sure that you wanted to say that?” he asked me

 

“Well did you want me to lie?” I asked him

 

“No I didn't, I just want to know what is next for whatever this is?” he said to me while looking down at the ground. I didn't know what to think of it all. What is next for this? For me and Noah?

 

“The only thing that I can think of is if we just take slow and find what out what is our feelings for each other are,” I said to Noah as he looked at me with that beautiful face of his. Its gonna take some time to be getting used to. The only thing I could really confirm is the way that I feel for him.

 

“So this is for you,” he said to me as he handed me a necklace that he got yesterday. It was the one that I've been wanting for weeks now but I never had the money for it. It was my favorite band’s necklace the rollers iron fist. I looked at him and the only thing that I could think of doing was kissing him. So I did exactly that, I reach over and kissed him. I knew it was unexpected and it took him off guard when I did it but I didn't care, no has ever done that for him surprising me with a gift.

 

“Thank you,”  I said to him breaking the kiss he looked at me and just stared into my eyes

 

“I am taking it that you are happy?” he asked with a laugh

 

“Yes I am thank you so much, Noah, you are the best,” I said to him we both heard his phone go off, we both knew that it was his father. I heard the voice that was on his phone when he picked it up. It sounded like he was pissed at him. Once he got done talking to him he hung up and looked down at the ground. Like he was saddened that he had to go so I reached over to his hand and grabbed it smiling at him. He looked over at me and smiled back

 

“I better head on back to the house before I really do piss him off anymore than, I already have,” he said to me, the one mystery that hung over me and  Angie’s head was how we never knew anything about Noah’s life at home. Not even Sarah Jane when they used to date. He never was on the phone with his parents or he never had anything on his birthday at his house. It was a mystery that has yet to be solved. We got up from our spot and went back to my house. We walked and talked the whole way there. Before we knew it we were at my driveway and before I left to go inside. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into his arms. We looked into each other's eyes for a moment before our lips met and then we pulled apart.

 

“Hey wanna go on a date this weekend?” he asked me before he walked away from me.

 

“Yeah I will love that,” I said with the biggest smile on my face.

 

“Great ill message when and where,” he said walking backward before he broke into a run. I just smiled thinking of the fact that I have a date this weekend. When I walked to the front door and sighed deeply. Thinking that everything is finally better. That's when the door swung open and I saw him. My father. Looking at me he looked pissed off with me.

 

“Where in the hell have you been?” he said before grabbing me and practically throwing me inside and on the ground. That is when I knew that he knew. He must have seen the kiss that I shared with Noah. I tried to speak but the pain was too horrid that I couldn't I just looked terrified. “Well, I'm fucking ready for a god damn explanation? since apparently I don't have a son who is a man cause all I see is a fan who is standing in front of me” those words just lingered with me. I wanted to tell him off but I didn't have the strength to even fight it. Or more like him and before I knew it he left and that is when the tears started to flow from my heavy eyes. I finally picked myself off the floor and went to my room where I just plopped down on my bed and just bawled my eyes out.

 


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