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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Science Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: November 09, 2018

A A A | A A A

Submitted: November 09, 2018



seems like I’ve got a rabid case of dick dyslexia
a hitherto unnamed psychological disorder
it definitely exists as its own thing because I have a mad case of it right now
and it’s been like that for days
I can’t stop thinking about dicks, I’m fucking exhausted
I’ve been obsessed with thoughts and images of cocks for days on fucking repeat
I’m worn out but my brain is stuck
I wanna stop thinking but I can’t and no amount of excessive chronic masturbation can make me feel better, I’m having the wildest dreams that I’m the neighbours cat and I’m on heat

my mind is a rampant graphic pornographic shitshow
it was driving me insane, but not desperate, I keep to myself even if I’m caterwauling a bit
I’m sitting on the fence, licking my ass
I’m imagining cat-fighting and sending a severed cock flying skywards sailing high
I’m caterwauling a strange chanting ode to a Jewish cat god for some reason
it’s pretty satanic as the scene is bathed in a reddish street light and my legs are splayed every direction out in a pentagram and I’m surrounded by a ring of neighbourhood cats
who all sit there solemnly, staring in awe, just eyeballin me, paying very close attention
in a non-threatening way, just totally engrossed by my satanic pentagram of a shit-show
my cat-voice caterwauls occasionally, sounding like a mix between cat, Borat and Cartman 
and I keep them all totally enthralled by my occasional wailing and sporadic ass licking

I was enjoying the audience I’d gathered
and that they enjoyed me from a distance and I happily imagined all of their dicks merrily dancing a little jig and jumping over fences in a toroidal field in the corner of my minds eye and sailing through the air
enjoying the summer breeze across all my legs splayed

there’s someone burning frankincense smoke on an alter down the street
I can hear them down there muttering softly and playing The Weather Girls It’s Raining Men in the distant background
my Cartman-Borat meow shrieks my thoughts out occasionally
you can’t make much sense of them because I don’t really speak cat I just seem to be inhabiting this body for a little while
and I’m still on the fence licking my ass and taking breaks to caterwaul a little like Cartman and Borat but I’m keeping partial attention on some rats scurrying around  the corner of my eye
I wanna chase down and destroy a few later and have a real little bloodbath killing spree  

and dicks are all I can think about, they fill my cat imagination
some cats go off chasing rats but most are watching me
I’m counting dicks jumping over fences like sheep, to the rhythm of the weather girls
getting sleepy, caterwauling some echoing hauntingly annoying lullabies
fully having no idea what I’m talking about but the cats really dig it
I have an evil grin
I could fuck it all like I’m a cat on heat but I don’t want to fuck it all like I’m a cat on heat
not because I’m a weird a-sexual freak and not because I’m some kind of unfortunatey too damaged-up person either but just because I don’t want to fuck it all like I’m a cat on heat

I’m licking my paw, it’s throbbing a bit, and I’m occasionally wiping my face and licking my ass for a little while and licking myself all over licking wherever I can reach
the mysterious audience of neighbourhood cats are still sitting in focused silence
enthralled by my shitshow and caterwauling

A surprised human person appearing on the scene loudly very suddenly breaks the attention of all the cats involved in the strange scene
we all resumed our normal cat behavior immediately
pretending nothing suss was up at all we all casually split in every direction we were facing
sauntering off, stopping to lick our paws and our asses, climbing trees
some running across the street, as if that was what we were really doing all along all along to begin with
not sitting around watching this jewish ritual be summoned that’s for sure
the man just stumbled upon a coincidental brief pause we all had in a normal split second glitch moment

we were all just coincidentally in the crossroad junction middle of going all kinds of directions
it was just like a little glitch there in the matrix for him with our super smooth move cat reflexes there and back to normal cat behavior not sitting enthralled by a cat-goddess caterwauling her Jewish cat ode code

I could see the man was stunned because he knew what he had just seen and heard
a perfect ring of us involved in the strange cat-pentagram-ceremonial display splitting off pentatonically matrix pondering his mind is wandering staring at me, our eyes locked together

I stay paused in the middle like I'm just a glitch
my legs still facing every direction like a pentagram
I’m caught wide eyed in half-lick
I remained on the fence watching him with my slim boss cat-eyes as the human stared me down
obviously questioning what he just witnessed

I’m a badass mafia boss cat satanic ringleader I snapped out of it and bowed out and let out a MeeOoooOWWWWW 
which for a real cat, it was funny, it sounded fucking pathetic
the guy stood there staring at my broken Meow and I managed on my sore paw to leap off the fence and back over on to the tree branch and then in a flash I was up the tree and racing across it

 bounding up to the windowsill where I slipped back in the cracked window
back to my cat home in the neighbours house where I licked my ass for a little while longer
soon I floated back out from things the way things do sometimes in a dream
and I slipped up through the ceiling and slowly realized I was falling out of sleep as I landed softly back home in my bed

 I rub my eyes and smooth back my bed hair
and I absent-mindedly lick my hand and smooth down my sticking up bit of hair, coming back in to focus

I was dreaming something absolutely wild but I can’t quite remember what it was all really about
feeling unfinished like I missed the ending the great grand finale the peak of the greatest classic hit 

I’m tuned for the next killer episode of this and that

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