One Night

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: BoMoWriCha Prompts

Featured Review on this writing by Jeff Bezaire

Written for a challenge at the BoMoWriCha Prompt House.

One Night.

Have you ever felt like you don’t know where you are when you wake up? Well, I have, at times, only to realize I’m exactly where I should be. But that is not the case today. The room that I’m in I have never, ever seen before.

I feel groggy, like I’ve been either drugged or knocked unconscious. My mouth is uncomfortably dry and my head is throbbing. I gingerly reach up and touch my skull, but I can’t find any lumps or bumps. Drugged, I guess, and brought here. But by whom? And why?

It takes me a while to realize that I am not alone in the room, There are four others with me; another female, older than me by the look of it, and three males of varying ages. They all seem to be coming around at the same time, and to be as confused as I am. I guess that confirms I was right about the drugging, at least.

We eye each other warily for a while. I can’t speak for the others but I’m sure that I’ve never set eyes on any of the others before.

Finally I find my voice. “Do any of you know where we are or how we might have got here?” My throat feels so dry I barely sound like myself to me.

A couple of the men shrug which I take to mean that they are as clueless as I am. The woman goes to shake her head, but stops that quickly and says, “No.”

The last man to speak, similar in age to me, I’d guess says, “I haven’t got a clue but I, for one, did not come here willingly.”

Me too!” I say, and although the others still seem speechless, I’m pretty sure the same applies to them.

My head is beginning to clear so I look around the room. It looks to be a pretty standard lounge to me. A sofa, a couple of armchairs, a bookcase, and a coffee table. The coffee table is what holds my attention, or rather what is on top of it. A jug of what looks like water and five glasses. I’m thirsty enough to get up on to my feet, and make my wobbly way over towards it. I take a tentative sniff, pour out a little drop and taste it. Water, cool water! I pour myself a glass and drink it down, then pour some out for the others.

There’s an envelope on the table too. I hadn’t noticed it at first. It is not sealed and has no name on it; I guess it is written to all of us then. I point it out to one of the men, a slightly older one and he reaches over, pulls out a card.

“’One of you is a vampire. The doors will unlock at dawn.’ That’s all it says.”

The instant he stops talking we make for the door and it is with some relief that we find that it opens. We are in a hallway now, with a staircase, a couple of closed doors, and a door that leads outside. I rush to it, turn the locks, pull on bolts, push and pull against it but it will not move.

The door!” I gasp, turning to the others. “It won’t open.”

Try the windows.” The other woman is talking now, rushing to first one then another, neither budging an inch. “Have we got anything to break the glass with?”

The oldest of the men approaches with a chair, smashes it against the window pane. It does not make even as much as a crack.

Another of the men goes rushing off, looking for another exit. There has to be a back door, doesn’t there? Someone is just having a game. As soon as we find the door we’ll be free....won’t we? Apparently not, as the back door proves to be just as unmoveable as the front one was.

It seems as though we really have been sealed inside.

Only after the horror of that realisation do any of us even think about the first part of the message; the bit that stated that one of us five is a vampire. They don’t exist, do they. It’s nonsense, just written to scare us. Someone seems to have gone to a lot of trouble to have themselves some fun. Cameras must be hidden around somewhere although for the life of me I can’t see where they are.

Should we all inspect each other’s teeth, looking for something fang-like. If we spot anything unusual it could be four against one. We’d be bound to be able to immobilise them until the morning. Sunrise, dawn, whatever you want to call it, and we’d be free to go.

But that is a long way away. It is dusk now, getting decidedly gloomy inside our prison. We all flick a few switches but no lights turn on. Great! Not only are we trapped with an unknown vampire but are going to be stuck in the dark with him, her, whoever.

Frantically we look around. There must be some way of lighting this place up, at least some torches somewhere or something. The search for torches is fruitless though, but whoever is responsible for our predicament is not totally heartless. There is a full box of candles in the kitchen. And a box of matches too.

There are five of us and twelve candles. They are not going to last us very long unless we all stick together; but then again, if one of us really is a vampire, is that such a good idea? Perhaps it would be better to separate, all stay in different rooms. If we lock ourselves inside there won’t be any danger.

Again, it seems that our plans are thwarted. Before the last of the natural light fades we inspect the rooms upstairs and down. None of the rooms have keys, let alone locks.

Well, why don’t we at least introduce ourselves?” I say. “I’m Tilda, or Mattie. Which ever you prefer to use is fine but just don’t combine them. I HATE that name.” Okay, so I’m rambling. I tend to do that when I’m nervous.

Gwen,” says the other woman. Not a name to conjure up blood sucking.

Harry,” the oldest of the men offers.

Vince,” says the middle, and “Gary,” says the one I reckon to be about the same age as me.

Not a clue there, then. Although hang on a second. Vince? Wasn’t it an actor called Vincent Price that played Count Dracula in those old movies. I walk up to him, ask him to show me his teeth, which he does, in his hands. Dentures! Can a vampire be toothless and grow fangs? No, this is just getting too silly, and it is certainly getting too dark.

No one wanted to come to any decisions so we ended up just sitting back in the lounge, one candle lit that barely illuminated our faces. The tension was so great you could have cut it with a knife. Nobody seemed to know what to say, so we all just tried not to keep examining each other for any tell-tale giveaway signs as we sat and listened to the tick of the clock on the wall.

Suddenly the room went dark, as though it had been shrouded by shadows. The candle still burned but it gave out no light. As soon as the glow returned Gwen screamed, for there was Vince, his head lolling backwards and his neck covered in blood.



The room was full of questions, of panic. Which of us had done it? There had to be some signs of blood somewhere. I couldn’t tell, but suddenly I did not want to be in a room with the others for a moment longer. Grabbing a candle and lighting it, I bolted up the stairs as fast as I could without extinguishing the candle.

Someone was following me up. Why hadn’t I been mean and selfish and thought self-preservation thoughts. I could have taken the candles, even the matches, and then they’d not have been able to follow. I fled along the landing and struggled one-handed to open the door. There was a thump behind me. I leaned hard against the door and struggled to get my breath back.

Just one thump, no more. Whoever it was must have gone to another room then, or back downstairs. That’s what I told myself until a scream shattered my relative peace. It seemed to be coming from outside my room. It sounded female in pitch so it had to be Gwen. Should I let her in? After all, hadn’t it been her that had been next to Vince?

I argued with myself, I really did, but I had to give in and open the door a crack. There was Harry, just outside my door. It must have been him that followed me up and now he looked to be very dead.

So there were five and now there are three. Myself, Gwen and Gary are all that remain.

Don’t you think we should all go back downstairs and stick together?” Gary asks. He seems to be very composed considering we are now in a house with two dead bodies, both of whom had met a gruesome ending. Well, if he’s prepared to take on the roll of leader, then I guess we should let him. I can’t speak for Gwen but I can’t help feeling a bit like the lamb who is being led for slaughter.

We don’t go back to the lounge, well, only to get the remaining candles. Vince seems to still be in the same position but I can’t really be sure. We head off to the kitchen and sit around the table. It is 3am, still a while to go before dawn. I’m tired, there’s just been too much trauma for me to take. I rest my arms on the table and put my head down on my arms.

Gary and Gwen do the same after a time. At least if we sleep, the time will go quicker.

The next thing I know, I hear a door slam. I open my eyes and it is daylight. Gwen is still sitting at the table, the pool that has spread underneath her head tells me all I need to know. Of Gary there is no sign. He must have woken, left. The sound must have been him slamming the door.

Well, there are two of us left then. One would have been too much of a give-away, so I had to curb my appetite. Putting on my dark glasses I make my way to the back door and slip silently and stealthily away. Until next time!


(1804 words).


Submitted: November 14, 2018

© Copyright 2020 hullabaloo22. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


Joe Stuart

You got me! I thought the vampire would turn out to be one of the dead ones just pretending to be dead. A scary story, Hully, well written as always. ~ Joe

Wed, November 14th, 2018 7:40pm


Thanks for reading, Joe.

Wed, November 14th, 2018 11:42am

Sue Harris

Nice one, Hully! So well written, full of suspense, and that ending! Well done.

Wed, November 14th, 2018 7:45pm


Thanks so much for that wonderful comment, Sue. I'm glad you enjoyed the read.

Wed, November 14th, 2018 11:58am

Mike S.

Hey, it's every dude for himself? Excellent, Hull!

Wed, November 14th, 2018 8:17pm


Thanks, Mike!

Wed, November 14th, 2018 12:22pm

Jeff Bezaire

Brilliant, Hully! You had me guessing until the very end! I thought there might be someone in the house they hadn't seen, which could explain the number of candles offered. Love the narrative voice! Great imagery and mood! A superb piece of storytelling! Bravo! Lots of fun!

Wed, November 14th, 2018 9:07pm


Thanks so much for that comment, Jeff. I'm so glad that you enjoyed it.

Wed, November 14th, 2018 1:12pm

C. J. Davis


Thu, November 15th, 2018 4:35am


Thanks for reading, CheyJade.

Thu, November 15th, 2018 4:05am

Markie Bee

Oh! that was good, you had me hooked right up to the end. Full of suspense, a great story :)

Thu, November 15th, 2018 12:27pm


Glad you enjoyed it, Markie Bee! Thanks so much for giving it a read.

Thu, November 15th, 2018 5:46am

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