Kept

Reads: 1354  | Likes: 3  | Shelves: 3  | Comments: 12

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Science Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

The blaring “wake up” horn wakes me on the second day of captivity. Adrianna, my cellmate, appeared on the first day I wa... Read Chapter

Chapter 1 v2

The alarm explodes my ears and I sit up, covering them. I resist the urge to scream, my mouth curling up in position. It stopped. &... Read Chapter

Chapter 2

  She is the smallest one yet, 4 and struggling with all her strength. Her struggles are almost cute. All of a sudden, ... Read Chapter

Chapter 3

  The light bounced off the leaves of the trees and…   I can’t say anything more because just then, arms wrappe... Read Chapter

Chapter 4

I gasp. They must be selling us… or… something. “What are you going to do with us?” I yell, unable to keep it in. ... Read Chapter

Chapter 6

I don't know how I didn’t see this from the beginning. The knowing, the… the… everything.   It all hinted toward i... Read Chapter

Chapter 7/8

I wake up disoriented, a sedative running through my veins. “W-w-what have y-you don… done?” I ask in a low, tired voice. “Pf... Read Chapter

Chapter 9

My eyes drift open and closed. Is it really possible?   Have they… shut it off?   My hands grasp my belly... Read Chapter

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Recent Comments

A. Rhetters

This chapter seems rather abstract and I can't help but feel a bit lost as I start reading it, but once I get to the end it makes more sense.

So from what I can gather, the protagonist is six years old and is essentially a test subject. Now I have only read this chapter (per the Chapter Review for a Chapter Review), but I think some elaboration would do this story good. Maybe a bit of background information - like what does the protagonist know about Adrianna.

Your grammar, spelling and punctuation are great. No complaints there.

This seems to be a prologue more so than a chapter, so I will move to the next chapter to see if I have some more clarification on what is happening and how everyone got into the cell.

Sun, December 23rd, 2018 3:08pm

Robert Helliger

Good story.

Wed, January 2nd, 2019 3:24am

Author
Reply

Thx

Tue, January 1st, 2019 7:32pm

A. Rhetters

Amazing job on this redone chapter. This is what I’d call a proper chapter! You explained the situation better and I could understand the story better.

If you apply this level of detail to the rest of the chapters (which I’m sure you did) then you will have a true first draft.

Not sure what more you can add to this chapter. You described three important characters, and now as a reader I know who to pay the most attention to. I think of characters I see here as a “plot frame,” for lack of a better term. If you ever need to do something a little extra for future chapters, keep these three mentione here in mind.

Fri, January 4th, 2019 1:23pm

Author
Reply

OHHHHHH my god, I’ve been waiting for a review on this chapter! It makes me happy to see you think it’s improved, thanks!

Fri, January 4th, 2019 10:39am

A.A. James

This is very interesting. I finally got to read the first part of your story. But where does the story start, it feels like I have missed a bit of the beginning. Awesome job!

Thu, January 31st, 2019 2:57pm

Author
Reply

I actually redid the first chapter, I just left the first one up! Thanks for the compliment, I'll read another of yours!

Fri, February 1st, 2019 4:14am

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