The Wild Card

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Short Story by: The Wild Card

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Status: In Progress | Genre: Humor | No Houses

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Not the story of my life

Submitted: December 20, 2018

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Submitted: December 20, 2018

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My mother was the mistress to a crowned prince of the realms, but when she became pregnant with me he throw her out. After having me she became a whore to support us. My father took pity on me and had a guards man train me in the art of the blade and I learned the art of love from spying on my mother and the other women in the bordello.

I decided at an early age I wanted to make people laugh, so I ran away to clown college to learn the skills of a jester, but I didn’t do well there. My instructors were not impressed with my singing or tumbling. My flute playing caused 1 of my fellow students to kill him self. I was finally thrown out when I set off an experimental stink bomb of my own design. It left the school uninhabitable for a year.

I decided to try my hand a magic at this point an joined a mages guild, but I kind of open a rift to a demon dimension and was thrown out, but I did steal several really neat books.

I moved on to being a thief, and found a very understanding guild. They loved my jokes and pranks and let me clean their hide out for free. I learned several really neat tricks from them, but my singing drove the leader crazy and he slaughtered the whole gang. I escaped because I open a rift in space and time (got it right this time) and jumped through.

In this new dimension I soon earned a name for myself. I stole the scepter carried by the king of jesters. Then in the free city of Hawk’s Roost I was awarded a gold and silver flute if I promise to quit singing and leave town. Since that dimension I have travel thru the multi-verse visiting all kind of realities and acquiring a lot of items that can be used in my act. My singing and flute play hasn’t improved any, but I don’t care..