All my pains through the years in quote form……

Reads: 137  | Likes: 1  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
These writings that I have written will be about my life and feelings.

Submitted: January 04, 2019

A A A | A A A

Submitted: January 04, 2019



A narrative about all my pains through the years in quote form……


2 years of age……


A horrifically killing event,


I’m still not sure what it exactly was……

Could it be a fear, a shock, black magic…….

One of the above or even all that’s listed!

Petrifying Silence swept, rushed through

My whole body, my flesh.

It rushed through my veins, my blood, into

My heart and soul…..!!!

No speaking, no eating, no confidence, no


It was immeasurably, immensely, intensely

An awful, deep pain inside myself. Not being

Able to talk to anybody and all that’s written




That hell……!!!!!!


It was a disaster, a thunderstorm, a striking

Of lighting, but fireworks was on its way…..

But first I was left alone in silence but the silence

Was worst this time.

By the time I knew it everything was over!!!!!!

Yes it was. But I thought it will never come to an

End. But unfortunately I couldn’t control my life,

The time, my destiny. Number 7 hit me constantly

Because that was my destiny number….. 7…..

I was living like a dead corpse, a zombie but it was

Actually worse than that…..!!!!!!! 

I was literally, honestly….. Living afterlife, the hell

That I call this…..!!!!!!  

Yes I was living that hell while still being alive……  

I thought I was dead, then transferred to hell by our

Heavenly father, god.

That pain, that pressure on my whole body was a

Extremely large burden I couldn’t breathe, I was left

In sweat, tears, screaming inside but couldn’t let it

Out in words.

It was such a difficult examination!!!!!!!


It took a long time but then something magical

Happened in my life……

My miracle landed in my hands from the skies.

And maybe even from god……

My whole life changed!

I was unusually, tremendously in happiness!!!!!!

I was in prosperity, healthy state of mind thanks to

That human, peace, confidence but nevertheless,

Wholly, greatly Happiness!!!!!!!

Thank you,

My lord, most merciful, most gracious,




17, 7 my destiny numbers


This time it was different………


When I came back to my hometown I waited,

Waited and waited such a long time…….

At first I had hope, but then there were no

Changes. So what I did? Huh I did the most

Brutal, Ruthless mistake that anyone can do to


I gave up on myself. I quit myself, my life,

My everything, my all that I had. As soon as

I did this, things began to get even Worse, more

Harsh and cruel for myself…….I started to have

Anxiety again, repetitive thoughts, music playing

In my head. Continuously. It was like torture, like

A mosquito bite, that type of pain in my Heart and

Brain. With mixed Emotions, here and There. This

Time it was different. Yes. But thank god it wasn’t

As bad as that hell I was in before. Now I realize and

Understand this. But now everything is much more


Thank god!


The unknown feelings……


To me I’m still 7 years of age.  Because as you

Know that time of my life my destiny changed.

I desire to be a kid again. Because I am childless,

Single, I have suppressed emotions and thoughts

In my head and heart. Anger and rebellion.

I want to be able to live to the fullest!

But I cannot!

When I was a kid everything was much more

Fresh, jumping, like a brand new soul, a

Spiritual awakening. Obviously because I was

Still a little kid!  

The rejoice I had, even the food that I ate was

Much tastier with definition.

But now? Where have I come to?

The feeling of a dead soul, feeling unalive,

The longing of a father yes! But now I do not

And needn’t to worry because I prayed from

My heart to own a father. A real one. Didn’t

Have to be biological, it can’t anyway!

Now I do have a father!

I can now call whom to be my father dad!

I am now very blessed, god has put his mercy

Upon my painful and sorrowful heart and

Soul. He has given me my father,

My second father, unbiological but the best

Father of all!

I love my father,

And I thank god for this.



© Copyright 2019 Lilac Maria Sussex. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments: