If cats could talk, what would they say?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
If cats could talk, what would they say to each other? This piece will have three cats, sitting around talking about what goes on in their daily lives.

Submitted: January 14, 2019

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Submitted: January 14, 2019



Here we are, the three of us, Jacko, a black and white cat. Pepper, a grey calico, and  Mittens, a multicolored cat. In this story, we are going to listen in to what they are talking about, thats if cats could speak. What would a conversation be like for them, lets find out.

" Hey Jacko, hey Jacko!!" shouts Pepper as he is walking around his owners backyard. "Pepper, up here on the fence. Wait i will come right down." says Jacko, as he leaps off the fence. "How you doin?" Pepper, arching his back and stretching out, "I'm doing ok, my owner cleaned out my litter box, and put in some of that nice fresh scented kitty llitter. Took a nice dump to start the day, then dove into a bowl of dry food," Yea, nice easy way to start the day", replies Jacko. "Get a nice one out on clean litter, and have your human clean it up after you, what a life we got going!"

Coming around the corner of the house is Mittens. "Hey guys, what s on tap for today?" Pepper chimes in," Thought maybe we should go over to the Lacy house, they just put in a new bird feeder, maybe we can get lucky and get us a nice sparrow or robin." "Nah", replies Jacko, why do we need to kill a bird to eat when we are getting fed for free by our owners?" "Besides, the Lacy's also have that dog, Roscoe, and i don't need no dog chasing me and barking up my ass."

Mittens is taking in the conversation, while lying on his back on the grass with the warm sun on his belly.With that, both Jacko and Pepper decide that it looks very confortable, and decide to join Mittens, just lying on the grass, with the sun warm on their fur.

Mittens perks up his head and says,"Have any of you guys try some catnip lately?" "I was messing around my scratching post before i came out,and that has catnip in it, and i feel pretty nice right about now." "It's been awhile since i had catnip." answers Jacko. "What about you Pepper?" "For me, it's been about two months since i had catnip. My owner feels that it isn't good, she does all of this aromotherapy around the house. Really stinks up the place. Fuckin humans and their hippy shit! The sixties are over. the band packed up and left woodstock!" "Pepper, your a fuckin pisser!" says Jacko. Meanwhile Mittens is laughing his head off after what Pepper had said. "The band packed up and left woodstock." repeated Mittens while giggling. "Where do you come up with this shit anyway Pepper." asks Mittens, wiping away the tears from his eyes because of his laughter made him tear up. Replies Pepper, "I don't know, it just comes to me."

Jacko gets up from the lawn and tells the guys thats hes going to head in for awhile and that he will see them later. Pepper also gets up and says he will be around the block, he thinks that the new people that moved in down the block has a cat, female, so he wants to see if he try to put the moves on her. As for Mittens, he lies back down on the grass, also telling Jacko and Pepper he will see them later, still giggling to himself for what Pepper has said. "The band packed up and left woodstock!" holy shit say Mittens.


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