class clown

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
written in response to a word prompt. the word was foment, meaning to promote the growth and/or development of (something). so, i wrote this as my reply.

Submitted: January 31, 2019

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Submitted: January 31, 2019

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The room was loud with all the voices yelling about one bylaw or the next until the gravel struck with a loud firm bang. "Order!"

"Oh shut up George, you're not a judge, you're part of the problem" A parent hollered from the back row. The jeer elicit
ed a wave of laughter from the others, causing the yelling to calm down to hear the panel.

"Be that as it may, in some people's minds." George continued. "We need to get this meeting started and we can't do that until things are quiet and orderly." He'd gesture with the little mallet towards his associate. "Please, Ms Mayburrie start us off."

A petite young woman stood up. "Good evening, know many of you are here today because you want to get some things off your chest and get some change. Please understand that those of us up here are wanting to foment young minds as much as you. We too want to--"

"Well we ain't wantin' to get them drunk, none little lady"The same heckler cried out to another wave of laughter. He jutted out his hand and splayed it her direction. "What the hell she talking about fermenting our kids." He gave a half laugh then smirked. "That's like some pickling voodoo right there miss."

Another wave of laughter hit the auditorium as someone else picked up on the jeering and started making Monty Python references to witches.

Ms Mayburrie took a slow breath, adjusted her glasses and kept her composure as much as she could as she chugged along with what she was saying. "To clarify Foment, not Ferment, means to promote the growth or development of." She cleared her throat. "What I was trying to say is we are as concerned for your children as you are and hope that we can come to some conclusions and solutions that will help their growth and development."

"Well heck, why the hell didn't you say that in the first place instead of them fancy words like you're rubbing your damn degree in our face." Trying to reclaim his pride from the error he had jeered, the heckler resettled himself in his chair and adjusted his clothing. "Speak English, woman."

It was then, Ms Mayburrie took off her spectacles and laid such a glare upon him that the next heckle upon his lips abruptly died, and the room went deathly silent. All breaths were held, awaiting Ms Mayburrie's reply. Her jaw rotated and set in a grim line before speaking with an air of deliberate -fuck you- "My apologies Mr Hayneswood for speaking a level of English that your children understand having come to our school to grow their minds beyond what they have had the privilege of being born into.You are absolutely right, I should be more inclusive and speak in at a level of English typically reserved for Kindergartner class than the level of English predominantly utilized by most grown adults. Forgive me my assumption that you would get my meaning without further clarifications. I'll make sure and sign myself up for some sensitivity training later to make sure I speak a level of English understood by all participants, even yourself."

Still holding the room's attention she
lifts up a paper. "You are in luck though if you will be at a loss as to the level of English your children will be speaking." She waggles the page." I am teaching an English class in our Parent high-school prep course we were going to talk about bringing in, in this meeting you seem so keen on interrupting. The idea of which is to help parents brush up on their grade-school so that if their child comes to them for help, they aren't left having to rely on Google." She continued her death stare that kept him and the rest of the room silent. "I assure you it is quite affordable." A light smirk threatened her lips. "Applications are in the lobby Mr Hayneswood." Her head arced to the doorway. "I strongly suggest, you go pick one up." She dipped her head in a slight nod. " Perhaps now would be best, while we finish the parent-teacher conference with the parents who actually want to be here."

Mr Hayneswood swallows hard, his features were now red with growing embarrassment that translated directly to the lines of anger creeping across the corners of his pressed lips. He startles when his buddy beside him, slaps him and stage whispers in Hayneswood's ear. "She burned you hard. Think ya best git and snag some ice, cause there's no coming back from that one."

Haynewood's tongue abruptly slapped a back molar to keep from saying another word as he slowly got up to leave. When the door closed behind him, he could hear the air let back into the room and the rush of applause. He scowled and stormed past the application table to head to the outer doors.

"Fuck that bitch, Mayburrie." He says as he turned around again to grab one of the applications before actually this time leaving.

A kid in the lobby turned to another as they watched the man leave. "Didn't they use to date, Mr Hayneswood and Ms Mayburrie?" The second kid just shrugged as a reply as they watched the vehicle spin out of the parking lot.


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