Gone Fishing

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

They good friends set out to hook the big one.

Benny, Jim and Allen went fishing often. Benny, a construction foreman, provided the boat. Jim, who ran a bait shop, provided the bait and tackle. And Allen used his pickup to tow the boat to Lake Wahoonee. They were a merry group, having known one another for years.

After fueling the pickup and the five-gallon tank for the boat motor, they set off up the road.

Benny addressed the group. “What are we fishing for this time?”

“Dunno,” Jim said from the passenger seat. “We might get into a few cold-water types since we’re early in the season. Steelheads, maybe. Or trout. If we go out far enough even some Atlantic salmon.”

“I’d like to hook one of those. I hear they put up a heck of a fight.”

Jim nodded. “They do."

Allen, silent until now, voiced his opinion. “The way we fish, we’ll luck into a bunch of suckers or carp. Fish and game say they’re on the rise and could take over most lakes around here.”

“Damn,” said Benny. “You can’t eat them. Too many bones.”

“Taste funny, too,” added Jim.

“Yeah.”

They motored along in silence until the turnoff for the lake appeared. Allen wheeled right and slipped the truck into four-wheel drive for the muddy road ahead.

When they arrived at the small clearing at the edge of the lake, they got out and surveyed both sides of the pickup.

Benny chuckled. “Got some mud on her, didn’t you?”

Allen grinned. “Wouldn’t be a good trip without some mud, eh?”

While Benny and Allen untied the boat from the trailer, Jim pulled their provisions from the bed of the truck. Soon, a few sturdy cardboard boxes sat to one side. Allen jumped back into the driver’s seat and expertly backed the boat trailer down the bricked launching ramp until the boat floated off. Benny used the painter to tow it parallel to the rickety dock.

Allen parked the truck and the three loaded provisions, tackle, and two perforated bait cans into the boat.

Jim raised his eyebrows at his friends. “We forget anything?”

“Where’s the beer?” said Allen.

Benny snickered. “Leave it to you to ask about that.”

Allen spread his hands to the side. “Asking for a friend.”

“Oh.”

Donning their fishing vests, they set off into the lake.

They putted around, looking at several likely spots until they came to a small cove. Benny pointed the bow toward it and when they reached relatively calm water, he killed the engine. “Looks like a good spot, huh?”

Allen and Jim shrugged.

After taking a few minutes to prepare their rods, they began fishing.

As he was rebaiting his hook, Jim peered over the side. “Hey. What are those fish?”

The other two looked.

Allen looked, then pronounced, “I think they’re Bullheads.”

Benny shook his head. “Look like carp to me. They’re more of a surface fish then Bullheads.”

“Sure are a lot of them. Why are they hanging around?”

“Looking for a handout, I expect. Toss them a little bait.”

“Nah, don’t want to waste it. We need it for the big one.”

Benny laughed. “Big one what?”

“The big fish. Like the one I caught last year. Remember it, Jim?”

Jim rubbed his jaw. “Naw, I don’t.”

“Hang on. I got a picture of it.” Allen bent over, pulled his billfold from his back pocket, and opened it. In the process of doing that, the boat rocked a little.

Caught unawares, Benny, who had begun standing to get a better look at the photo, lurched to one side. This time, the boat rocked far enough to make all hands hold onto the gunwale. When Allen did, his billfold flew through the air and landed with a light splash in the water.

“Dammit! Look what you make me do,” he stormed.

They spun in the direction of the widening circles and began searching for the billfold.

Allen pointed. “There it is! About two feet down.”

Jim grunted. “What are those fish up to?”

As they watched, several fish nosed against the billfold, pushing it from one to another.

“Damndest thing I ever saw,” Allen said.

Benny laughed. “Not for me. I’ve seen this before.”

Jim stared and Allen said, “You’ve seen this before? I doubt that.”

“Sure. Haven’t you ever heard of carp-to-carp walleting?”

Benny narrowly avoided being thrown overboard.

 


Submitted: February 03, 2019

© Copyright 2022 B Douglas Slack. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

hullabaloo22

Ha! Excellent, Bill!

Sun, February 3rd, 2019 7:57pm

Author
Reply

Thanks, Hully. Just keeping my hand in.

Sun, February 3rd, 2019 12:53pm

Vance Currie

I enjoyed the story, Bill, but I didn't get the meaning of the punch line at first. It took me a while to figure out that 'carp to carp walleting' is a switch of the phrase 'wall to wall carpeting'. I'm a bit slow this morning.

Sun, February 3rd, 2019 8:45pm

Author
Reply

LOL. It was a bit of a reach. I told my neighbor who actually is a contractor the joke and he cracked up.

Love your avatar, Joe.

Bill

Sun, February 3rd, 2019 12:54pm

Chris Green

Excellent twist, Bill. I could see it working towards something but the carp to carp walleting is not something that came to mind.
Regards
Chris

Mon, February 4th, 2019 11:58am

Author
Reply

I tried to avoid using the word 'wallet' until the very end.

Bill

Mon, February 4th, 2019 7:34am

Vance Currie

Thanks for the compliment, Bill. The avatar is actually the real me (25 years ago) when I performed in the musical, 'Les Miserables'.

Mon, February 4th, 2019 7:48pm

Author
Reply

Good picture, Joe.

Mon, February 4th, 2019 12:42pm

Cheoko

Still laughing, sure glad I didn't go with them when I fished. I loved the story was amusing. I could imagine it as a cartoon in my head, lol. I hope you feel better soon.

Mon, July 8th, 2019 5:18am

Author
Reply

GHetting better every day, Cheoko. Thanks for asking.

Bill

Mon, July 8th, 2019 8:12am

S.B.Scoular

Fab Bill. They seem like the kind of men who you see down the pub retelling stories of their trips. They remind me of my Grandads

Simone

Fri, August 9th, 2019 2:07am

Author
Reply

Thanks, Simone. It's an old joke dressed up in new duds.

Bill

Fri, August 9th, 2019 5:16am

Sharief Hendricks

Hilarious story B. Douglas Slack !

Loved it...boys will be boys !!!

Sat, July 11th, 2020 10:05pm

Author
Reply

Thanks, Sharief. It's an old joke though. My dad told it to me on a fishing trip.

Bill

Sat, July 11th, 2020 3:17pm

Ian D. Mooby

Great story Bill. The punch line wasn't bad.

Sun, January 24th, 2021 7:21pm

Author
Reply

I thought it was a little weak. Non-English speakers probably wouldn't get it.

Bill

Sun, January 24th, 2021 11:47am

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