Little Flame

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
Love is all we need in times of darkness. Suicide is not an answer, you are not alone.

Submitted: February 04, 2019

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Submitted: February 04, 2019

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My name is Alice, I don’t have friends, I never liked to go out, I have no father  he left me since my mother was pregnant with me. My mother thinks I’m weird and so do I. Everyday seems like a disaster for me, given the scale of colors I only see nothing but grey, the day looks bright but there’s something in it that makes me feel so hollow, everyday looking out my window just brought sadness in my heart.

My mother works two jobs daily; she barely gives me attention and often goes home late. Just then, I never lit a light, I just don’t care after all. Day or night is just the same for me just a pale, cold and sorrowful day; I can’t even remember when was the last time I laughed maybe before my best friend, Emily, who brought all the colors in my heart, died.

Just this night, my heart feels funny and my body feels numb, I was a little weak, thinking of having no purpose in this life, just a burden I am to my mother, I also left school and so what will my future may become? Maybe these little pills can help me, anti-depressant? Or I don’t know? Guess it will just cure me and make me a better daughter...

For a little while, I felt relaxed and nothing else to see but darkness; pitched black. I can breathe  full of air for a moment and that moment end when I opened my eyes and saw my mom crying while talking to a man in white coat, “gladly, she came in time; a little delay may cause a lot of trouble”. I realized that I just died.

A time being of self-actualization, I found myself lying on hospital mattress with needles stuck on my weak hands; what have I done to myself? My mom entered by the door and threw herself on my arms with her teary eyes. Was it even worth her tears?  A person who gave her everything for my shitty life and all has been wasted.  Seeing her in pain brought bit by bit of knives through my heart.

“Ma, I’m very sorry.”

There’s no other word that can express the thing I did even a sorry is not enough. I closed my eyes with my heart drowned with shame and disappointment, but the words she replied brought little flame that warmth my empty heart.

“I love you my little Alice.”

 


© Copyright 2019 Rosedel Sumbi. All rights reserved.

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