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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
This novel seeks to lay a foundation on how to understand men. Its focus is on women who fail to grasp men’s doings and interests and dislikes to name a few. This book also encourages women to persevere in their relationships and not judge men by their actions. Furthermore, this book elaborates on what causes men to have certain confusing actions and bizarre behaviour that consequently make women want to quit and leave the relationship promptly without thinking twice

Submitted: February 05, 2019

A A A | A A A

Submitted: February 05, 2019






I must pause and reflect on those who selflessly and charitably lifted me up to my writings. With the deepest gratitude I wish to thank everyone who has come into my life and inspired, motivated and lifted me up through their presence. I am forever indebted to you.

I would also like to acknowledge and express my sincere gratitude to the following people who encouraged my hobby of writing short stories and novels to be something that can help people learn and go through their challenges peacefully.

For their generosity, I thank: Yanga Piliso, Siphamandla Cele, Ndiphiwe Mbokodi, Sithembile Ncanda, Sikhulule Msengana, Lwando Gagu, Siphesihle Fanta, Aphumelele Tonga, Enathi Genu, Nombasa Mbiko, Sandile Mtshemla, Phumelisa Bayisa, Nozuko Fumazele, Lolwethu Booi, Sive Xazi, Aphelele Lose and everyone who has read my work. Most importantly, my family, readers, Facebook friends etc.



This novel seeks to lay a foundation on how to understand men. Its focus is on women who fail to grasp men’s doings and interests and dislikes to name a few. This book also encourages women to persevere in their relationships and not judge men by their actions. Furthermore, this book elaborates on what causes men to have certain confusing actions and bizarre behaviour that consequently make women want to quit and leave the relationship promptly without thinking twice.



a. Atrocity

b. Control-freaks

c. Female friends

d. Alone time

e. Dignity

f. Satisfaction

g. Sexual desire

h. Exquisite women



One of the minor technicalities that women are failing to grasp on men is the issue of atrocity in relation to money. In simple terms men do not like women who always open their hands and request money, it is an annoying and insulting approach that is defeated over and over again. Men like to spend on what they think is valuable to them, depending on their interests at that time. For example, if a men want to have sexual intercourse with a lady at that time, his desire to spend is pure and not accompanied by doubt whatsoever. However, if he sees beyond now about that certain lady then he can spend knowing he want to settle-down or have an intrigue with her.

Small things are a turn-off to men, things like “please buy me airtime”; “please give me some money”; “can you take me out?” etc. If the latter indications of requests happen out of the blue then there is a problem. Men are deep thinkers by nature and their minds process things a bit slower compared to women, but when their minds catches a threat or something of that nature, it explodes with anger and irritation.

Men’s hearts are sensitive to the core, sometimes they hide themselves through violence when they are hurt. Sensitivity can cause lack of manners, that is why most women should first think deep before saying something or asking for something from a man. Women are out of control when it comes to money and men are very sensitive when it comes to money, this is what women need to understand, grasp and avoid most of the time.



Trying to control a man as a women is a mistake that requires urgent ratification. It can have serious negative repercussions and an ever-lasting pain. Men do not like to be told what to do, how to do it and when to do it. Men have an independent personality that is separate from all other things. They have the “I am a man” attitude that requires respect and recognition. Women takes this for granted and do things their way, thus their actions result in unnecessary fights, break-ups, domestics violence, hate-trace etc.

Controlling a men is literally saying “my man is weak”, this is a perspective of men in their entirety. Men adore women who are in charge in the relationship and not controlling them, an example of the difference between these two averments is that: Controlling is making or forcing a man to do things that you want as a lady. Being in charge is working in tandem with your partner in every decision you both take but it is the woman who makes sure that decision is fulfilled.



Women must understand that men have female friends and they must stop forcing them to leave that friendship. Unnecessary fights in most relationships happen as a result of discomfort that arise through estoppel of friendships that emerges as threats to women. That is literally an egocentric behaviour that clearly doesn’t make sense. Women need to grow and be open minded about things and stop making everything about themselves. Friendships are somehow better when compared to family in a sense that many thing we are suffering from we share them with friends rather than families. Nowadays we get more help from friends and people we know but we continue sticking with the wording “blood is thicker than water”; that’s pure nonsense in many respects.

Female friends are sisters from a foreign universe, they are a true identification of truth because they will never lie to you about a female you want to date, or an intrigue that you want to associate yourself into. To the greatest extent, men are blessed to have female friends in their lives. As they say “two opposite genders are hard-rock when working in tandem.



Presumably to every individual on earth, alone time is something needed by the soul and not the body and it cannot be compared to anything else closer to its identity. It always appear very bizarre to other people who have not received the annoying presence of human beings. Very strange, isn’t it?

Normally, we all adore humans because we are humans and at the same time we do need our own space and time from the crowd of the human race. It may sound so painful but its true. Women like attention we cannot run away from that fact but they don’t understand how crazy it is to have most of your time seeing someone. Men adore their own space and as much as they do not like to talk about that it does not mean they don’t mind their space being occupied.

A man is an enemy of this own thoughts, if a man decide something in his mind it is hard for anyone including women for that matter to change him. This goes to say that if a man reaches a stage where he want his own space, a woman has to respect that and give him what he wants.



This one needs to be generalized because it’s part of men’s life and soul. Dignity means a lot to men and it is something that can kill a man’s self-esteem if improperly challenged and tested. Most men even take away lives when their dignity is improperly tested, it is something so important that it cannot be explained with words, it is wordless. Most women always get it all wrong and try to score points on men by embarrassing them. It’s like playing hide and seek with a lion inside its cage.

Women must always avoid to lower men’s dignity and try to remain in good terms with men. They must always be calm and polite to men even if they don’t acquiesce to something, the irritation men get from a lady who yells at them in public can figuratively cause a nuclear destruction, it’s totally unacceptable. There are things that women cannot test from men like diminishing their dignity. To be specific, a man’s dignity and a woman’s dignity are not similar in any respects (this can be debated by many authors and feminist, it’s a serious concern). A misnomer that has continued growing in our societies is undermining woman’s existence and always favour the one of men but the bottom line is that, women can fight for their existence without taking men down and belittle them.


Women do not understand the language of men and it is not up to men to teach them because it is untaughtable and it can be conveyed only by way of actions and behaviours. Sometimes men do things with no intent to do harm but because of the greediness inside them it is hard to stop expeditiously. A man’s mind operate like a machine that is designed for big things and its tested for the first time – of course in that accord there will be impediments that need to be repeatedly improved.

Same as what men do when they are in relationships with good women, they cheat and later realised they did a wrong thing. They start improving at a later stage to be better people so that they can avoid doing the same thing again and take for granted the love the woman gave them.

To avoid beating around the bush, men are slow learners in almost everything. They are like wild cats from the jungle where you raise them and at the end of the day they bite you. Men need patient women to groom them, nature them like plants and cover them with wings just like chickens do (in this case protect them from themselves). An enemy of men is a woman but the greatest enemy of men is a man himself.


To men sexual desire is a thirst that can never be satisfied, it is something that every men adores and always wish to receive to multiple partners. It always depend though on the type of men we are dealing with when it comes to sexual desire. We have “N” TYPES which in full are the normal types – they are the type of guys who enjoys sex and admit their satisfaction afterwards. Again, we have the “H” TYPES which in full are the hyper types – they are type of guys who never gets satisfied on one occasion of sex at the time, they prefer long hours of sex to fully admit their satisfaction. Lastly, there are “A” TYPES which in full are the abnormal types – they are the type of guys who are by their actions you can say they are mentally ill to sex. They are perverts so to speak, their mind is addicted to sex to an extent where everything they think about when around women is sex, sex, sex and sex up to a level of a fool. It’s totally unacceptable.

Sexual desire is normally something that men have but it also depends on the level of TYPE a man falls under. Women must be able to determine that not all men are perverts because generalizing is simply something that can lower and improperly test a man’s dignity which in the previous study it stipulated that an unfortunate event might arise due to that test of improperlity.



It is an undeniable truth that men adore beautiful women. Sometimes men can be described as bees because bees love flowers and a flower is a beautiful thing. Without any further ado, women always get worried when their man looks at another woman. It is a normal thing, because women also look at handsome guys without any hidden intention of desiring to flirt with them. This is a magnetic thing that happens without the mind being observant.

Men are nervous to approach beautiful things because they feel intimidated by them or presumably think they might be belittled. Women should not worry when their man look at other women because chances of them making a move are slim and believe it or not men are cowards when it comes to beautiful women, it can even take a decade for a man to confess his feelings to an exquisite woman.



Lindokuhle Ndinisa is a powerful advocate of personal empowerment. He was born and bred in ILinge Township, a small village in Queenstown. He studied law at University of Fort Hare in East London Campus. Former Public Relations Officer, Secretary and Chairperson of Sunrise Organization in the East London Branch. He is a public speaker, comedian and a motivational speaker. He likes to make people laugh, reading novels and writing short stories. He authored two short stories(When Life Feels Like A Test You Didn’t Study For & If Its Love Then So Be It) and a motivational piece(Circle of the Universe). He is a full member of Booksie Publishers.

Email address: ndinisalindokuhle@gmail.com


Cell: 0839406119





© Copyright 2019 Lindokuhle Ndinisa. All rights reserved.

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