Prequel His View to Living on Borrowed Time

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


Note: THIS IS NOT EDITED, But may be part of the new book (Anyone who comments when the book publishes gets a copy free), if you guys like the prequel, and the actual start of the strory "living on borrowed time"

Prequel to “Living on Borrowed Time”

His Drunk point of view:

Help me, I am lost and I need you to guide me. It has been weeks now since I have seen you. It has been weeks since I felt your soft touch on my rough hands. You always found a way to keep me on this planet, but who am I without you? Who am I if I cannot stop pushing you away? I have a problem. I don’t know how to tell you this, I don’t know where to begin, but I need someone to love me. I need someone to see behind my smile, and see that I have a problem. As I write this to you, I am sitting next to a bottle of vodka, in hopes it helps me relax, and forget my problems. I know I am broken, I know I have flaws, but baby please. Please come back I miss you. When I joined the military, I didn’t ask to get hurt, I didn’t ask for all the extras I got with it. I am afraid of this bottle next to me. Is this bottle my future? Is this bottle what drove you away? I don’t know, but I do know I love you and without you taking another step forward doesn’t seem feasible to me. It’s funny as I write this, I am thinking how my biggest dream since I was a kid was to always become a writer, besides the whole military thing, I always wanted to help others realize that even twenty minutes of reading, or writing could send you to your happy place. Some people grow up in the worst possible starts we could ever imagine. However, I can tell you right now, that without reading, without writing, without imagination there would not be savior. There would not be a future for some of us; you know the ones that don’t like talking about our problems. The ones that hide away from the whole world and allow our friends, family, coworkers to see us as the happiest people on earth, but I cannot lie how much I miss you. Since I have met you, you have seen through my bullshit, and you have been honest from the start. If I am being stupid, you will tell me. I remember the first time I saw you at the fair. I was trying to catch a gold fish so I could name it willie, and I was with my friends so we were being stupid, but that’s when you caught my glimpse. When I was about to throw it, you passed me, seemed in a rush, but I couldn’t really tell. You were a stranger after all so what do I know huh? But your eyes, it caught me off guard, and I couldn’t concentrate so I missed my shot. So, willie the gold fish, could not be a reality. Afterall I did spend my last dollar on it. I was just trying to find a friend I could talk to that wouldn’t judge me. Who else could I tell I am majorly in debt and I am drowning. Drowning in a bottle; a bottle that has always been by my side. I miss you. I don’t want to forget my problems, I learned how not to run away from them, because you finally taught me how not to run away, and simply face my problems because I am not alone you were there. You told me you were. Where are you now? I miss you. I need you. I know I need you a lot, I know we fought a lot, I was in a dark place drinking a lot. I am sorry my head went to this dark place. Do you know what a mirror shows you? It shows you, you. But your mind twists it, and shows you the person you see, the person you believe you are. Is that really who you are or... Just your worst nightmare? Please respond I miss you. I need you. Without you I don’t want to smile, I don’t believe I am good enough. You gave me the fire to fight the demons the first time, please help me again, they are back, and this time stronger than before. I don’t think the guy in white this time can help me. Please wipe my memory, and help me. Without you, we cannot defeat them. I need to think clearly, I know I will not remember you, but with time, I will. Please help me. Otherwise I will drink myself to sleep. Every time you were around you always put me in my place, so you build an unbreakable heart, help me on this. Please. I love you. I don’t expect you to reply, just know you are the one I want. The only one I need in my life. I Love You.


Submitted: February 06, 2019

© Copyright 2021 Patrick Walters. All rights reserved.

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