That Someone Who Will Always Hate You

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic
What a beautiful paradox this is!
We’re all a project of the people we met, the people we spoke to, fell in love with, the people who made a difference - and as a complex, this project makes up us, in our most authentic form.

Don’t, don’t be stopped by that someone who will always hate you.

Submitted: February 09, 2019

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Submitted: February 09, 2019

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Remember when you were so afraid? Locking yourself up in a cage, trying to use the gold to make up for you depriving yourself of personal freedom. The freedom you’ve taken away from yourself - because you were afraid to break out of the borderlines you’ve painted. Nobody‘s necessarily pointed these borderlines for you. Nobody’s blamed you for doing what you feel is right - at least lately, or yet. Nobody’s told you to sit in the corner, shying away from the big, big world that has more complexities and diversity than one simple human will ever have the capacity to grasp and experience. You’ve done it yourself, be it bad memories, sensitivity  or fears. 

 

There are different types of fears. Fears of being looked down on, left behind, betrayed, misunderstood or criticized. Fears of not matching a standard, fears of your worth being diminished in the eyes of someone close. Fears of having to deal with all the guilt, shame, loathing - all over again. You’d just rather have it all left behind, as you turn the pretty side of the cage onto the world and cover up the grim sides. Someone has probably left bad scars in the past, and today, you’re still pouring salt over the cracks, thinking that the ache defines you more than the triumph you could’ve felt from moving on.

 

As you navigate through life, a realization hits that there will always be someone who hates you, with or without a reason. That whatever you are - tall, short; underweight, overweight; bold and out-there, shy and introverted;; single, in a relationship, married, divorced; a Harvard graduate, a high school drop out; a performer, a writer, a construction worker, a surgeon, a lawyer - someone will find a reason to hate on you, and they’ll do it harshly. Without any manners or knowledge of communication. Without the slightest thought that on that other side, you might be affected. They’ll leave you no time to get your armor, they’ll crawl under your skin like a leech, knowing exactly what to target at - and they’ll use their weapons without mercy. Not because you’re wrong, and not because they’re right. Not because you’re flawed, and not because they’re perfect. Not because you’re crossing an imaginary border, and they fit into the imaginary frame. Reality alert - they’ll do it without a reason at all.

 

Frankly, they don’t even hate you as a whole: they hate a certain part in you, for reasons that have nothing to do with you. They make it sound as if that quality defines you. Amongst all the things that you are, a something that you are doesn’t suit the boat of something within someone who doesn’t share that characteristic. Doesn’t sound so frightening now, does it? Doesn’t feel reasonable to stop yourself from going for what lights your heart. If you are a writer, then of course, write, write about it; write all you want on what sets your soul on fire. Because chances are, for every someone that’ll always hate you, they’ll be at least a dozen who’ll love you. Who’ll admire what you do, and find bits and pieces of themselves in it. You’ll shine light on the pieces within themselves they’ve always embraced...or loathed. And you’ll have the power to evolve their perception. Your influence will be the new pebble hitting the surface of their ocean.

 

You don’t believe me? Just try, please try. Try breaking out into this stone-brick world - and you’ll notice the paintings on the cement whose creators and histories are so much more interesting than the walls of a golden cage. Burst out into this enormous megapolis of a million voices where you are one, too, completely your own. Influenced by probably the many other voices you’ve heard, which moved past the filter of your already-present worldview, harmonized beautifully in your mind and left their mark, eventually sculpting the project of what you are today. What a beautiful paradox this is! 

We’re all a project of the people we met, the people we spoke to, fell in love with, the people who made a difference - and as a complex, this project makes up us, in our most authentic form.

 

Don’t, don’t be stopped by that someone who will always hate you.

 


© Copyright 2019 Alexandra Layne. All rights reserved.

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