Sunday Letter

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Sunday letter, trying to be positive! :)

Submitted: February 10, 2019

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Submitted: February 10, 2019

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Dearest Babe,

 

Today is Sunday between the storms. I am missing you so much this morning and I am trying to keep busy, so I don’t go insane. I have so much to tell you, yet it all escapes me when we speak. I decided it today I was going to be positive and not sad. Well, let me just say it’s not been easy, and I wish I was better at being positive. I am POSITIVE I miss talking to you and how you make me feel. I miss sharing fun stuff about my day with you and love to hear your smart-ass remarks. It’s a super annoying trait, and often I get lost in the listings. But, it’s how my frazzled brain works, and it’s the only way I can keep stuff straight in my head.

 

The kids have been loving the snow. They have these snow disks and keep sliding down our “hill” which is a 3-foot decline next to the house. I am expecting them to smash their faces into the wall as they approach and “stop.” There is huge yard and they pick the most dangerous spot. Harrison started to climb the wood piles because he thought it would be a better “hill” to sled down. Well, it’s a hill that moves, I told him. I feel like they have cheated Darwin long enough and one of them is going to kill themselves soon. They all come back inside and sat by the fireplace to warm themselves and get geared back up to go out again! The process repeated over and over, making little frozen trails in the house for me to clean. Thank goodness we don’t live back East. Tonight, Harrison is on his iPad while Alex is watching a never-ending stream of baking shows. She wants to be a chef so bad. I worry that chefs have very hard lives, and NEVER get to be home on nights or weekends. Maybe that is perfect for her, but who knows? It could be a phase, like me working at a carwash when I was six.

 

I wonder how you are doing besides the little moments we talk. I wonder if you have those moments of deep sadness like a chilly breeze, and then as quick as it come you are able to compose yourself. The emotional armor does not help me anymore. I have been defeated in this battle of composure. My kids have noticed a change in my behavior and ask what is going on. Harrison asked me, “why are you sad daddy”? All I was doing was staring into the fire and my mind was a million miles away thinking about you. Even my simple boy picks up on these things.

 

My thoughts are pretty simple, and nothing too fanciful. I think about waking up next to you, and how we would spend a normal day together. What is our normal routine, and how I am always looking to make the day a bit more fun for us? I also wonder if I would be annoying to you in high doses. Could we be happy doing our own thing which we both crave, but it may be due to the people in our lives. I wonder if you would watch me from the corner of your eye, while I am working on stuff or making dinner? Would you smile and come over to kiss me? This all seems out of character, but maybe it’s something that would be OUR normal. Love is a weird thing, and makes people change. I hope this letter as always brings a little smile to your face and warmness on this day between the storms.

 

LM


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