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The Meaning of Life: In Search of Happiness

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
Two years ago, during one of my many introspective moments, I decided, quite morbidly I might add, that I needed to leave my children more than just memories of Dad, their fifteen dollar inheritance, and a huge funeral bill. A higher parental voice commanded me to deposit a fatherly legacy, a wisdom so profound, so meaningful, and so poignant, that it would guide them for the rest of their lives, and the lives of their children, and their children's children.

Submitted: February 20, 2019

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Submitted: February 20, 2019

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The Meaning of Life:

In Search of Happiness

 

Two years ago, during one of my many introspective moments, I decided, quite morbidly I might add, that I needed to leave my children more than just memories of Dad, their fifteen dollar inheritance, and a huge funeral bill. A higher parental voice commanded me to deposit a fatherly legacy, a wisdom so profound, so meaningful, and so poignant, that it would guide them for the rest of their lives, and the lives of their children, and their children's children. I decided the delivery mechanism for my revelation would be a letter, an epistle, in the charge of my attorney, with the strict instructions to be breached and disseminated only in the event of my death. Thinking in lofty, biblical terms, and with a clear grasp of my final lot, I knew that before the last gasped breath reluctantly abandoned my lungs, I must scribe, on contemporary parchment, the very meaning of life itself. A powerful inner spirit would surely rise from deep inside and pilot my mission, my new destiny.

Self-inflicting the challenge for fathering the Magna Carta of my family was a noble thought indeed, but nevertheless, a thought leaving me clueless as to the content of the communication? So, I did what any intelligent, semi-creative human does when they're stumped, I immediately deserted my quest and seized upon some newly manufactured priority. Regrettably, anytime I neglect something that I've previously judged consequential, a metamorphosis occurs inside the domain of my excessive compulsive personality. It eats at my psyche, gnawing tiny worm holes starting from the back of my brain, where I dump them, until they resurface in the foreground taking their rightful place in the life's little failures cubbyhole of my conscience; the very cause of my intermittent insomnia.

Now, fully awakened after a two-year sabbatical, I again launched a cerebral pursuit to uncover the meaning of life. I pondered a cornucopia of questions and sought the answers to many issues, challenging my logic along the numerous branching paths. I labored intensely to cleanse my bias, but that was hopeless. No one really can, I decided. It's ingrained in our genes, then seeded in childhood, and fertilized from our environment. It would take a better person than I to wash away this darkness. It's in all of us you know. Witness the shameless prejudice surrounding the first OJ Simpson verdict. Ouch! Now, is that my “coloring”, or the juries, or perhaps yours that I've so casually stirred. In the drama of this discovery, I realized that a person can only be measured by two earthly sources. First, by other people. This by nature is a humanly flawed gauge, riddled with bias, fad, and fear. Or secondly, self-assessment, by far the toughest of the two since the inherent shortcomings of the first, incorporate with our own self-criticisms, or lack thereof, creating a compounded predisposition. The result, immensely imperfect beings making immensely imperfect decisions. How frightfully unfair! But guess what, that's the way it is, the way it will always be…

Notwithstanding, here is a sampling of my preliminary analytical triteness regarding a simple question with a complex, kaleidoscopic answer; what is the meaning of life? Is it the propagation of our species? Is it: success, or fortune, or fame, or LOVE, or God? Is it all of these, none of these, or some of these? Is there a meaning at all, or are we merely consigned to meander through our existence, struggling to survive until our biological clock finally times out?

After countless and restless nights staring into the dark, often with my mind racing, searching for the truth, seeking a vision, I beheld a light, glimmering through nothing more than a pinhole at first, then becoming brighter and more radiant as a distant door slowly opened revealing the answer to the ancient question. I knew immediately that what I'd uncovered must be shared, distributed freely, openly, without prejudicial ownership. I will share my findings with you now.

The meaning of life is a wondrous treasure that resides inside each of us. It is as real as you and me. You can tap its great wealth today, right now, but first, you must be at peace with yourself. There are few steps on this stairway before you can absorb the meaning, assume its power, bathe in its warmth, and comfort from its message. Take a deep breath; let it softly escape. Close your eyes, relax, purify your mind, release your stress, and drain the problems from your awareness. When you are ready, please continue.

Step One: SEPARATION

Separate the past from the present, then both of these from the future. As often as you try, as much as you desire, you can not live in the past, nor in the future. You must breathe in the present, the nowness. Forge kindly the today to yield sweet yesterdays. Be wise, and frugal, and careful, and thoughtful, offering intense respect for each tick, every sweep of the secondhand, each grain of time. In the end, before each expiring instant rests gently in the past, you must mold the present avoiding the nightmares of your tomorrows. The present is the Father of the past, and the past can not be changed. It is forever and always, engraved in a timeless accounting, buried deep inside an ageless sepulcher, the final resting place for your mark. The future waits for the present; residing hidden in the twilight, racing blindly to an open landscape, a palette of imagined hues, a limitless dimension with infinite possibilities. Separate each element into newly discovered senses, and use each, as you would your sight.

Step Two: ACCEPTANCE

Stand naked to a mirror inspecting closely the figure before you, as it too gazes back at your form. Then slide black your eyes examining the reflections of your soul. It is you that you are witnessing; the light, the dark, the successes and the failures. There are no other copies, no one else occupies your space, you are unique. Accept your past in all that you saw, for it was you, and you can never be at peace until you do.

Step Three: FORGIVENESS

Your forgiveness may be tardy, but it can never be too late. Forgive yourself and others of: shame, lies, pain, narcissism, and hatred spewed. Purge these hauntings from the yesterdays for they breed a contempt deeply rooted inside your personal abyss. Destroy them, rip them out, and release yourself from the bondages of your recurring guilt, blame or hate. Absolve your sins and those of others, only you really can. Let your past become your shepherding light, a beacon for improvement, not an anchor of guilt continuously raised and dropped in self-punishment. Forgive to be free.

Step Four: HAPPINESS

Remember, you can never achieve happiness, unless you're at peace with yourself. I can think of no better feeling than those experienced when we're happy. We are more inclined to take problems in stride and accept the faults and flaws of our fellow man. It is the genesis of purpose in all of its imports. Our world becomes brighter, more beautiful, and more interesting. A place where hot is balmy, and cold is crisp. We value every breath taken every moment of the day. Our stress levels are tolerable, and we are more helpful, kinder, cheerful, giving, and loving. We are relaxed, oozing self-confidence and self-esteem. We smile and laugh more frequently, and enjoy a titanic sense of well-being. We are likely to kindle friendships and lasting relationships during these periods. Our senses are more heightened, and our thinking clear and unobstructed. Life becomes an addictive nectar. We can't get enough, it overwhelms us. If you say it isn't so, you're in denial. Everyone has tasted the fruit, been captured by its spell, but, like an opiate high, it never lasts. A second personality is sadly born, muscling its way in-between, severing our high. Then we crash, sometimes hard, often unnoticed by us, but most always observed by others. You know this is the truth. Anything worthwhile, requires work. Developing an inner-happiness is perhaps the most important of all. It sets us on an even keel and primes the daily canvass of our lives.

It is no surprise why so many seek artificial refuge from themselves, through drug induced stupors. Try these drugs each morning of your life: separate the dimensions of time, accept yourself and others, and pardon the darkness of the past. Separation, Acceptance, and Forgiveness will unlock the portal of tranquility and reveal the treasure, HAPPINESS. Try it, practice it, live it every day of your life. Pursue your dreams. Believe in and love yourself. Then, and only then can you actually love others more than yourself. Work on producing a happy, loving day, every day!

****


© Copyright 2019 Edmund. All rights reserved.

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