How much should parents control their kids?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: February 20, 2019

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Submitted: February 20, 2019

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Parents have a lot of influence on their offspring, although it varies through time. As a baby, the kid depends on the parents for food and basic needs. As kids grow older, the parents usually provide for the family, also giving the kids a roof above their head and buy them all kinds of stuff from phones to clothes to useless pieces of plastic. As kids age, they become more independent and it's especially hard for a teenager to sometimes let their parents have a look at what's really going on in their life. How much should parents even know about their kid's life, and how much privacy are kids allowed to have?

If you live with your parents and are underage, they usually have the right to know what's happening in your life, especially if they're worried about your health. I've never actually had my parents search for anything in my room that's not supposed to be there, but as I have lived in a few child welfare centers, I absolutely know what it's like to have all your stuff flipped over just because someone of the two dozen kids there had a razor blade. It sucks, and I was a good kid by the standards there, as I didn't use drugs or alcohol or smoke, but everyone had their things inspected whenever they returned from a leave or even a trip to a nearby store. 

My parents, or my mom because my dad didn't really raise me, were quite laid back. As long as I didn't get in trouble and got home before midnight if I had school the next day, I was good to go. I hardly got into trouble, even though I did drink a lot when I was still seventeen. Yes, I did get caught by my mom, but she just told me to be smart and if I drink, not let the police catch me. A lot of my friends had parents that let them drink and even provided them drinks and even weed, which is in m opinion bad parenting. Although I'm not much better, as I have no problem buying alcohol for my younger brother. Then I also had friends who would be grounded for a month if they were caught drinking. 

If there is one thing I've noticed the past year, it's that parents really seem to drop interest once their kids turn 18. I've had a lot of friends say that none of their parents have asked them about their whereabouts sine they turned 18, and that's odd to me. Okay, my mom doesn't constantly ask me where I am, but she makes sure I'm okay. If I haven't told her anything and it's late in the evening, she usually texts me to check if I'm fine. That's good, because even though parents aren't necessarily in charge of teenagers once they're "adults", I am confused as to how can parents just not care? Or maybe they do care, but how about showing that too? I love my friends and I hate many of their parents for not looking out or their kids, because there are many times when their friends like me have to pick them up from the bar at four, when school is starting in a few hours.

So, if you have teenager kids, please don't go around searching their shit for no reason, and if you do have a reason, tell them before doing so. Your kids are entitled to privacy and I doubt you want to find your kid's awkward stash of sex toyr or something by accident. It will also make them feel like you don't necessarily trust them. But also, as your kids grow up and can legally go binge drinking every night, make sure to still look after them. If you have no idea where they are, it's okay to call them and if they live with you, it's also okay to make sure they aren't in trouble or passing out in the snow. 


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