Paralyzed With Heartache

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Reading and re-reading - the silence that surrounded me was deafening!
My heart was beating in my throat- still paralyzed from the words I just read.

Submitted: April 08, 2019

A A A | A A A

Submitted: February 21, 2019





As I read your text I felt like my world stopped turning.

I sat in silence, barely breathing.

Feeling violated, as if something had been stolen from me...

The only problem was it was something that wasn’t mine to begin with.

On the inside I was screaming,

On the outside I was paralyzed with heartache as it rolled down my cheek.

Reading and re-reading the text-the silence that surrounded me was deafening!

My heart was beating in my throat- still paralyzed from the words I just read. Not knowing if her plan to keep you hooked until she knows what she wants will work. She doesn’t want you, and made that perfectly clear when she left to be with another man, but she doesn’t want anyone else to have you!!! |This will only happen if you allow it to... don’t let somebody else dictate what your happiness will be because they are undecided of theirs and are afraid you will find happiness without them.

Feeling my strength drain from my body to the point I couldn’t hold a pen and book to write my feelings at that very moment in my life.

I experienced something very unusual; my eyes began to close, I was feeling lifeless, my heart still barely beating, I’m taking slow deep breaths and feeling my consciousness slowly slipping away, my insides began to shake... I was beyond control of my state of being! What’s happening to me!?!?!

All I could do was pray and, I realize now that, at that very moment God was answering my prayer for strength, He was recharging my heart because He and only He knows just how badly it hurt... right then my silent actions were speaking much louder than my written words.

The phone rings and I couldn’t lift my body from the bed to answer it. I continued to pray to God to strengthen my heart from the hurt and help it to heal, so at some point in my life it will open to love again, and praying you get strength from God as not allow someone to control your life because of money.

You are in control of your happiness; in this game of life it’s your turn... don’t let somebody move your game piece if you are rolling the dice!



I’ve been through too much to stop now! I will carry on with a heavier heart, but have faith that God will be by my side to help carry that load- I just can’t do it anymore! I am emotionally exhausted! As a single woman I will continue to live, and once this hurt eases I will be stronger than before... I’m just not sure I’m strong enough to light a match to burn that old bridge...!!!



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