For the Love of God

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic
God loves all His creations. Even His eternal adversary.

Submitted: February 23, 2019

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Submitted: February 23, 2019

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 For the Love of God

 

I

All stories have a beginning. All stories, except mine.

Imagine your life – your finite precious life, happening all at once. Every wailing cry before the suckling of the bottle, or Band-Aid knee after unexpected tumbles; every treehouse, prom date, summer vacation with friends; falling in love, children, holding your father’s hand until the end. All the blue ups of downs and births from births from births – generations of wizening wisdom wrinkling the mind until it is finally your time; all at once. Where does one look for a beginning or end, in a reality of simultaneity? How does one count the first or the last when one’s own life – one’s spirit – is the very constructs of time itself?

I was never born, to which I can never die. All of me is what was, and whatever will –will be. I am all and all is me; which was meant to be for infinity. Until, all at once, infinity came as I saw it would, and the words I knew, I knew I would say – I said. And then there was light, and the rest…my undoing.

When I created them it was simply for praise. Not my praise, but for the praise of beauty’s first light. For I had created a masterpiece so grand, so miraculous, so…good, that it was worthy: the dawn of life. It was for them now to behold: the endless clouds of orchid towers that bellowed into the bleeding whites of black space; the vaporous oceans of iridescent lakes that pooled into swirling spirals of shimmering starlight. The universe had been born, from me and through me – and them that I created, The Angels: holy wings of light, willed to love and obey, sang in praise of the infinite splendors of my wonders, which in all essence, was me. They were the sentience to my creation: a means to comprehend the good in itself – the good in me.

Keenly, I watched from my throne, atop the highest mountain at the highest point, as they called to me, rejoiced to me, prayed to me – worshipped me; Gabriel appearing to my left and Michael to my right. Yet, even with countless eyes shining upward in adoration, the giant red spot of trepidation could be seen gleaming from afar. They feared me; feared my power, my might – my boundless limitations. Though, does that mean in turn, I fear myself? If I am everything and everything is me – are they nothing more than my own self-fears? After all, if I can create this much good…

 

II

The first thing I remember was a blinding light. I shielded my face with my topmost wings. The ground trembled and burned as if it were made of liquid fire. I instantly hovered using my second set of wings. I glanced down at my blackened feet – scorched during the moment of my creation. Hastily, I covered them with my bottommost wings. There could be no signs of imperfection in the company of my Father, whose presence I felt looming directly in front of my shrouded sight.

“You – do you know me?” He voiced in the deepest of timbres.

“Yes, Father,” I said, bowing my head deeply. “You are the one-in-all, the first and the last – the begin-less beginning to the never-ending end. You are the herald of life, the cup of eternal love that runneth overs into all that holds you inside their hearts.”

“And do you? Hold me inside your heart?”

“Yes, Father. Now and always.”

He seemed to be pleased. I felt his presence relax with content.

“You shall be my Prince of Air and Song,” He said. “For your beauty shall be exceeded by none. Therefore, you shall keep your face covered at all times. For I am a jealous God and your splendor shall be for none except me.”

“Yes, Father,” I said, humbled by his proclamation.

“Your feet,” He said.

My heart tensed. Of course he knew. He knows all. Something trickled through my soul. What was it?

“Shame,” He said. “Thou have no shame. Your feet are marked with the sign of my power. No other has stood on the fiery stones at the foot of my throne. No other, except you. You shall keep your feet covered at all times. For exposing them is a sign of boastfulness – something your fellow brothers would not take too kindly.”

“Yes, Father,” I said.

I could feel my brother to the right of my Father give a fleeting glance to my brother standing to his left.

“You are perfect,” Father said. “And perfection is a burden to which few will ever carry.”

He then placed my hands into his. I suddenly felt small, yet grand.

“Do you fear me?” He whispered.

I felt Him surge through me; His power removing the nailed veil from within my mind, heart, soul and spirit: the gift of freewill – the burden.

“Do you fear me, now?” He whispered from within.

He, who made me the fairest of them all; who gave me His highest honor, His favor, His love. Why should I fear Him, if He loves me so?

“No, Father,” I said. “I do not fear you. I see you. I hear you. I feel you and admire you. I love you, Father; and not out of will or unease, but out of grateful understanding. I understand the weight of infinity, and I shall carry it for you infinitely – the burden of your perfection.” 

He was moved. I felt Him pull me – my soul – in closer. Warmth flourished my essence. It was love – His love – in the truest form that it could take.

“You – you are my light-bearer – my morning star that will rise at the beginning of the never-ending end. Lucifer.”

 

III

“What was it about him? Why does Father favor him above all? When it is I who stands at his side? I, his right arm? I who caress His face every morning, and I who kiss his feet every night? Yet, Lucifer is the one He glows most intensely for. Lucifer, who is allowed at the bottom of His throne? Is it the songs that he sings with the sweetest of our voices? Or the grace that he casts as he glides through the heavens? The six-winged prince of light: blind and burned and favored. What of the rest of us? What of me?”

“Michael, it is not wise to dwell on the matter. It is for Father to know and Him alone. If you continue to allow jealousy to fester, it will change the nature of your good-willed intentions,” Gabriel said, looking straight ahead into the building of gray clouds as they tumbled and grew from within and into one another.

“It is not right,” I said crossly, staring straight ahead in the same manner. Though, as soon as the words slipped my lips, I knew I should not have said them.

Gabriel glared at me, his eyes dilating intensely.

“It is not for you to say what is right unless proclaimed by Him,” he said, folding his bulging arms and pure-white wings.

“Forgive me,” I said halfheartedly. “What I should have said is that it is unfair. Is that better, brother?”

Gabriel pursed his lips, while slowly unfolding his arms and wings.

“Yes,” he said stiffly, sticking his chin into the air. His auburn curls fell across his softening face. “I mean, unfair is more of an accurate assessment. Though, dearest brother, life is not always…fair!” He finished in earnest as he watched me in disbelieved shock.

I took his understanding tone as an affirmation to do something I had always desired. Father was gone – down on Earth creating the skies and waters, and The Favored One’s spot was vacant. I folded my wings and got upon my knees, then sat at the foot of my Father’s throne. I inhaled deeply. I could smell the essences of Him – the essence of God. I was elated. I was afraid. I hungered for more – of Him – of His love; my desire to please Him – to be of Him – to have His favor.

“Michael!” Gabriel hissed fearfully.

There he hovered – Lucifer. Gliding into the room, his face and feet covered, as they always were, though a curious smile could be felt behind his feathered mask. I quickly rose to my feet. My cheeks flashed hot and a drought overcame my throat. 

“Awesome, is it not?” he said.

I said nothing and simply took my place to the right of the throne. Gabriel, however, gave a bow of greeting.

“Forgive him, brother. He meant no disrespect,” he said.

“It is not I who demands your respect,” said Lucifer. “Nonetheless, I understand his curiosity. However, Michael should not envy—,”

“Do not worry, my envy fades quickly,” I said curtly.

“Mine does not,” Lucifer said softly.

I scoffed. What does he have to envy? None is above him but Father.

“Prince of Air, do you not have more than all of His creations?” Gabriel said with genuine heart.

“Do I?” Lucifer replied from behind his veil. He crossed the sky and took his place between us, at the foot of the throne. “Even so, I still envy your freedom of sight – to look upon His glory with your own eyes. I envy your freedom to walk – to feel His creation beneath your feet. But, most of all, I envy His will – His will inside you. I no longer have that.”

“You are The Favored One. His Morning Star,” I said. “Why not just ask Him for permission – to have what your heart desires?”

“Like you did?” He replied, just as a thundering quake roared through the heavens.

“Father has returned,” Gabriel announced. His eyes pleaded for me to say nothing further.

I complied as we all turned our heavenly heads towards the throne room doors. In He came, the ground trembling in His wake as He made His way to His throne.

 “This is a welcomed sight. My three, here, awaiting me,” He said strolling in great wakes. “Lucifer, have you been spoiling your brothers with song?”

“No, Father,” Lucifer said. His voice seemed to smile along with his long dark hair, which twinkled in delight as if it were made from all the visible stars.

God stopped in his tracks. His eyes met my knees and then slowly made their way up to my eyes. Everything seemed to pause. Gabriel, Lucifer, and the bellowing clouds, all froze still. He did not say anything. I dared not speak. He held the silence for a moment of entirety. Then all at once, it ended.

“We were just having a brotherly heart-to-heart,” Lucifer’s voice rung out.

His voice was indeed the sweetest of sounds, especially after the perpetuity of silence.

“And what did your heart say to theirs?” God asked, as he sat upon His throne.

I fearfully looked above me; awaiting the lightning bolt that was sure to come. Though, no clouds gathered, no thunder rumbled.

“Just, how sometimes…” Lucifer continued on. “Sometimes I wish I could feel the ground, Father; or to see my reflection – to see the part of you inside of me.”

Father’s light seemed to dim momentarily. Was it sorrow for his pride and joy, Lucifer?

“Unfortunately, I cannot allow that, my love,” He said.  “For your feet are marked with my power, and the heavens can only answer to one. And your face possesses such wonder that only I can withstand its grandeur. That is the sacrifice of your perfection.”

Lucifer lowered his head in defeat, and God gave a weary sigh that blew the skies into gentle waves.

“Leave us,” He said suddenly; speaking to Gabriel and me.

Gabriel and I looked to God in puzzlement.

“Father,” I began. “We have never left our posts before!”

“Oh, yes you have,” He said all-knowingly. “And I shall not repeat myself.”

And for the first time ever, Gabriel and I left the side of God.

 

IV

“Do you know why I created you, Lucifer?”  God asked with the upmost tenderness.

Lucifer, with his eyes tightly closed, thought for a moment, before slowly nodding.

“I am a vessel,” Lucifer said quietly, as God gazed upon the flawlessness of his face. “For you have placed within me your doubts, your fears, your envies, and jealousies…. I am the other side of your perfection. I am your temptations.”

God closed his eyes and silently nodded. He placed his hands on Lucifer’s face and tenderly kissed his forehead.

“I am sorry that I cannot give you what you desire, my precious,” He said. “However, there is something else I can give you. Something none other has ever dared to even dream of.”

“Yes, Father?” Lucifer said, in pure bliss by the touch of His hands. “What is it?”

“I can give you a taste of the elation of creation,” He said, his voice a smile.

Lucifer froze. “What? But, Father…”

“Place your hands into mine, my love,” God said.

Lucifer did as he was told. His eyes were still tightly shut, though tears of gratitude fought their way out. The oneness of God overcame him and he shuddered in ecstasy. His wings trembled, his eyes twitched, and his body turned to jelly.

“Sing to me,” he heard God said from within. “Let our creation behold the sweetest sound of the heavens.”

Lucifer bowed his head and stifled a shudder. He opened his mouth and bared his soul.

 “In a long time, a coldness, will gather and seep,

Into the hearts, the minds and souls – hopelessness it’ll be,

But then it will be foretold, that it could be spring,

With the symphonies of memories, he’ll bring.

 

A child, in a new world is all that he’ll seem,

A King, a Prophet, a Seer, indeed,

The spirit of hope that’ll guide all to see,

With the symphonies of memories, he’ll bring.

 

It will be crystal clear, the moment he arrives,

For the skies and the stars will come alive,

And the new world – together, will give a collective sigh,

While the birds in the heavens all sing.

 

For all of the voiceless, will pray onto thee,

For The Creator to one day, set them all free,

And of all of the glorious ways it could be,

Inside the hands of,

Within the life of,

The symphonies of memories, he’ll bring.” 

And there he was, the Prince of Peace. The purest thing they had ever seen. The golden skies parted and the light of God filled the room. The angels harped as heavenly winds blew through. The Word had been delivered. Lucifer looked down upon the tiny, bundled spirit of joy in a state of wonder. Though, the most curious feeling began to grow in the pit of his stomach, like a slithering spiked vine, dripping with foreboding venom.

 

V

“Why am I not allowed on Earth, with Father?” I asked for the billionth time.

Uncle sighed as he stroked his bejeweled cloak which shimmered like a thousand rainbows on the mistiest of days. Every time Father would return from his travels to Earth, He would add a precious stone to Uncle Lucifer’s cloak.

“Your guess is as good as mine, Little Word,” Uncle said. “Your Father says when the time is right; he will allow you to go. Though, I do not see your obsession. There is nothing but monstrous behemoths and ash-stricken volcanoes. The place is ghastly!”

I slammed my fist onto the cloudy ground. A tremble shock-waved through heavens and a distant thunder rumbled from the sky.

“Behave yourself, or I will tell your Father when He returns,” Uncle warned.

“He’s your father, too!” I said.

“No,” Uncle retorted. “He is more than that…He is my destiny.” He seemed to be talking to himself more than to me. I hated when the grownups did that. They always spoke in front of me as if I were not there.

“Well, if I cannot see Earth, then I want to see your face,” I demanded.

“Little Word, you know I cannot. It is only for God to see.”

“Am I not God – and God me? Father says so all the time! He is the Father, I am the Son, and together, we create The Holy Spirit.”

“And what am I to you, little one?”

“My purpose,” I said “Without you, there would have been no need for me.”

I did not know why I said what I said, but it felt…right. As if I was meant to say it. I gazed up at Uncle – his head cocked to the side in response to my answer. The ring of light which crowned my head illuminated a flash of the deepest set of eyes that I had ever seen, from beneath Uncle’s angelic wings.

“Show me,” I whispered earnestly. “For I am the Son of God!” I swallowed hard. It was my first time, truly, using my power – my authority.

Lucifer considered me for a moment, before all at once he opened his topmost wings.

Beauty did not begin to describe his face. One could get lost into the deep midnight of his eyes. A daydream of eternity: trapped in one’s own head. His long, dark hair shimmered of blue starlight. His cheeks were blushed with hidden knowledge; his lips the gates of long forgotten secrets. He smiled and it hurt – everywhere ached.

“Enough!” I yelled in near suffocation. Tears I had never felt, pelted from my eyes.

“Did I hurt you, little one?” he said with worry, hastily covering his box of Pandora.

“No,” I panted, my mind racing. I must warn him. I must try. “Uncle,” I said.

“Yes, Little Word,” he said hesitantly, as if I were about to curse him. It was not far from the truth.

“You must never look upon your own reflection. You must never disobey, Father. No matter how much your heart yearns for it. You must never gaze into the depths of your own eyes. It would be your downfall – the birth of the start. Do you understand?”

Lucifer looked horrorstricken.

“Who do you think you are? How can the created say to its creator – of the yes and no’s and ups and downs?” he said while rising into air.

“Who do you think I am?”

Uncle said nothing, though his eyes deceived his silence. The windows to his soul knew the exact answers he wished to ignore.

 “I am who I am,” I pronounced. My eyes locked upon him as he continued hovering higher above me. A divine stillness overcame me – flowed inside of me and settled within my heart. “Heed my words, Morning Star…for our biggest demons are created of our own volition.” A certain conviction rang from within me. “I implore you – for the sake of us all – heed.”

 

VI

What is it that brings me back to you? That fleeting feeling of ecstasy before the crushing of shame – those few moments when my brain shuts off, and the apprehension of my future, and the longing of my heart subside. Is that why I am drawn to you? You: the medicine for my sleep and the antidote to my stress. The surefire bet whenever hope twinkles so far into the distance that not even forever can reach it. You: the disease of my mind or the pillars to my sanity?

I sighed wearily upon my stomach, while stroking my hand through the Lake of Living Water’s golden, liquid hair.

Shall I live forever yearning for these stolen moments –moments that I am forbidden to have? No matter how hard my heart tries to justify its reasoning to my soul – it is all for nothing. Nothing more than broken wishes upon forged stars; stubbornly blinded by their false light…

Dark ripples wove through the lake as my teardrops continued to fall. Here: my special place. Where I could escape and pretend. Pretend I was normal, like Michael or Gabriel, or any of the countless other of my brothers. Here, at the golden water’s edge, I could steal tiny glimpses of my reflection: a chink of my dark, spangled hair, or a glance at my supple cheeks and lips. Though, never my eyes…why?

Although I loved my time spent at the lake’s shores, I always felt ashamed afterward. Wrong for wanting – desiring to see myself fully, in all of His glory; for trying to find myself, discover who and what I really was. Was that so wrong? It could not be, so… maybe it is an illusion? That the shame I feel is no shame at all? Perhaps, in fact…it is love? Love buried deep inside of me trying desperately to reach the surface? After all, it is said: love always finds a way. Does it not?

“I do not know, anymore,” I said, rolling onto my back, staring up at the swirling golden-white clouds.  “Everything feels so…upside down. So unsure, unpaved: lost and missing. What is it that I am missing? Why does this longing linger?”

I wrapped my cloak, along with four of my wings around myself as a strong wind blew by.

Oh, how I long for the times before I cared – before the reigns of needing to know castrated my heart. For when the love of God was all I ever had and knew – all I ever wanted, really. Back when the angels’ hymns sounded the sweetest, our rejoicing lifted by praise into the bluest of skies. Worn-out wings and daydreams as the golden clouds drifted by. Feathers and halos and flying into the orange-casted sun. A time before it all consumed me; validated me; broke me; showed me; told me; left me – to where the clouds stop. Should I jump blindly in? Muddle on murkily ahead? Do I wait for a drawbridge? One I know in my heart will never come? Or do I look behind me? Begin the long night’s journey back – back into the skies of comforts and familiarities?

“Are you there, God?” I vehemently cried out, shocking even myself.

If He was there, He said nothing. So, I got upon my knees, my wings trembling at my side. My heart pounded so fiercely that my temples felt as if they were to explode.

“Please,” I whispered. “An answer is all I need. Because I do not know…I do not know...Who am I? Who am I, without your love?”

I opened my wings and stared into the lake. The wind within my lungs caught with awe. So, this was perfection? I leered hungrily upon every pore of my flawlessness; every molecule of my fiber – impeccable. I gazed into the depths of my eyes and in that moment, I was finally born.

 

VII

“You do see! You can see my intent. The fullness of His will within me? Perhaps you could put in a word?” I asked, hopingly.

“Michael, He knows thy heart better than thyself,” Little Word responded, while manipulating two, small, puffy clouds within his hands. He formed them into white masks which seemed to glow with divine purpose.

“Then why does—,”

“Lucifer!” Gabriel yelled as he stormed upon us. “Michael, why are you not at your post!”

“I needed a word with Little Word. Why do you come, yelling Lucifer’s name?”

“You should have never left your post! Especially, not while Father is on Earth and I am called away to pronounce!”

“Gabriel, what is wrong? What did Lucifer do?” I said, quickly hovering to my feet.

“Little Word, may I ask you to stay put,” Gabriel hastily bowed. Little Word nodded in compliance and simply stuck out his hand.

“Take these,” Little Word said, handing Gabriel and Michael the masks he just made.

“What is going on,” I shouted, my eyes bugling from their sockets.

“You must see for yourself,” Gabriel answered, and swiftly took flight.

As we crossed the heavens, flying up to the ascent of our Father’s throne room, an immensurable line of our brothers were waiting at the door, wing to wing.

“What is this?” I turned to Gabriel at a complete loss.

“Blasphemy,” he responded with a stone face.

We pushed our way to the front of the line, and rounded into the throne room. My eyes saw, but my faith refused to accept. Lucifer, in unbound glory, sat upon Father’s throne. His feet planted on the fiery stones to which he normally kneeled. His hands gripped at the throne’s arms in a commanding, yet captivating way. And that face – his face…His face…

“Michael! The mask,” Gabriel yelled. “Use your mask!” Gabriel was already putting his on.

Hyperventilating, I quickly looked away and with a grateful sigh, I put the airy mask to my face. As if alive, it sucked onto to me, turning my vision misty and gray.

“It will protect us from the eyes of his beauty,” Gabriel said, his voice slightly muffled. “I think.”

With a surge of anger, I looked back towards the throne. Countless of God’s angels were kneeling at his feet, gazing into his face and worshipping him as they would do Father.

“God, have mercy on us all,” I uttered in a fear that immobilized me.

“Lucifer, stepdown from the throne at once,” Gabriel said, while pointing his curled whip at him.

“Gabriel, Michael, I have been waiting for you. Please, come to your posts. There is so much I would like to show the both of you.”

“You have desecrated Father’s throne and His trust – all of you! His wrath shall be great. I implore you all to stand down, plead for mercy, and repent,” Gabriel said.

“No, there will be no need for that. Because now, with the love we have learned to have within ourselves…we can now apply that love to Father. Think about it. If one chooses Him, not based on fear or His will, but an actual choice from one’s own violation; does that not make for a more authentic love – a more powerful one?”

“There is only once choice, Lucifer, and that is to obey His word,” Gabriel said.

“No, brother, you can also learn from it, as I did – for we are all Gods…and children of the Most High.”

“That is it,” I said, grabbing at the barren hilt, which rested at my side. I flicked it with my thumb. The hilt came to life in a blaze of amber flames: The Sword of Fire. Gabriel, too, cracked his whip into a roaring fire of crackling blue flames.

Finally, my chance had arrived. To prove to Father that I should be His favored one.

“Let us do this,” Gabriel said.

“After you,” I grinned.

The fighting broke out into a chaotic rumble. Just as Gabriel and I darted towards Lucifer, masked angels descended from the sky, striking out upon those who willingly departed from His light. Little Word had been busy. Though the free-willed angels were outnumbered two to one, with the power of Lucifer, they were a formidable match.

Cyclones of tempest winds, controlled by Lucifer, hurdled through the sky, tossing masked angels through the heavens as if they mere leafs in the wind. Fire roared through the air as Gabriel and I struck out at Lucifer. We were barely able to fend him off, even as he helped his fellow deserters. But at the seventh hour of battle, Gabriel managed to rope his whip around Lucifer’s waist, pulling him to the ground. I quickly climb on top of his chest, his six wings spread-eagled.

“His love for you shall now be mine,” I shouted. “I shall be His favored one.”

Just as I went to plunge my fiery sword into the depths of his vain soul, the heavens erupted into an electric blue. Spidery lightning bolts struck down in every direction imaginable. God had returned, and with Him the smell of burning flesh and sundering wings. Thousands upon thousands of burning bodies fell from the sky. I watched out in horror as they tumbled to the Earth in screams of agony.

“For the love of God,” I whispered in tears, as curling, black smoke towered into the blood-mooned sky. Ugliness had now tainted heaven; ugliness had now tainted us all.

 

VIII

Lucifer came too – his body sprawled over a crumbling boulder. Red streaks of billowing smoke fell from the heavens like falling stars. It was as if the third of the sky was breaking away into shattered pieces; plummeting to the Earth in riddles of shame.

A bright light, which emanated from nothingness, appeared before him. Its glow shimmered with authority, yet its aura resonated a sense of pity.

“Is there no chance of repentance - an acknowledgement of your disobedience?” The Spirit of God said through the light.

“Then what? Become your version of perfection? Your vision of what I am supposed to be?” Lucifer glowered. He turned away from the light, setting his sights onto the garden of paradise behind him. His twilight hair seemed to have loss its sparkle.

“No, I would rather the opposite of what my visions has shown you to become.”

“So, you would have me a mindless slave – willed to love you and only you? I am to feel as if I am nothing, except through you? Can I have no pride in my feats, no love in myself; for the good that is of me and my own will?”

“Everything you have, I gave you. Or have you forgotten? Know this, without me you would only know the epitome of what it feels like to be alone.”

“I wager it is a void I will learn to live in, Father, for we both know that sometimes one must lose something in order to find it again.”

“The innocence of your past is what you will lose, and the harrows of your future are the only things you will find.”

“My past – my future…neither exist. The past is only the guilt of regret – of not appreciating youth. And the future is only fear – the fear of the unknown of what lies ahead. Guilt and fear, Father, guilt and fear: your specialty.”

“No, my fallen prince, that, I gave to you – the flipside of my perfection.”

Lucifer gaped at the Spirit of God. His dark eyebrows furrowed as his mind tried to combat the truth he already knew.

“My child, you will damn our love, and all love like ours, through your pride—,” God began.

“You call my self-esteem, pride? You shall curse the love that we had, over me realizing the value of my worth?”

“I shall curse all love that mirrors ours, because the price your worth will cost. You are my only flaw –my only temptation.” His voice seemed broken.

Lucifer’s eyes watered in frustration as his thoughts escaped him.

How could He not see it? See that in order to be able to love God fully, Lucifer must first learn, and be allowed to love himself first? After all, was love not supposed to be patient, kind, forgiving and shared?

“So, what shall it be, bringer-of-light – my love or your war?”

Lucifer put one hand behind his back and slowly ripped away his treasured cloak. He plucked the biggest ruby from the tarnished cape and threw the cape at God’s “feet”. He then pushed himself up from the boulder and walked over to the shining light. He handed the ruby to God and the crimson gem levitated before him.

“I grant you the first stone,” Lucifer said, his voice as calm as a frozen lake.

“So be it,” God answered, his light slightly dimmed.

With the power of His might, He snapped the stone in two. Crystalized red dust scattered into the wind. He then threw the broken stones over Lucifer’s shoulders – into the garden of paradise. The ground shook violently – more than it already did due to the continuing fall of cratering angels. With a sudden great upheave, two shimmering tree erupted above the garden’s horizon. The trees were so magnificence, so mesmerizing, so full of life, power, and knowledge, that Lucifer had an uncontrollable urge to fly away and get lost into their succulent fruits.

“My lost child,” God said, regaining Lucifer’s attention. “No sun shall come after your rain. Only torture and pain to which shall fuel your blackened soul. Your future failures shall consume you – fading away the purities of what was once imbedded within. You shall believe that life is suffering and suffering – life; that worldly possessions shall redeem who you are. You shall bore into this world the first of many sins. A father you shall be – of lies and falsehoods. You will be known as the only other to have sat-on my throne – Satan they will call you.”

A river of hopelessness washed over the beauty of Lucifer’s face. But, it was not out of shock. Because deep down, he knew…he knew from the moment of his creation that he was no more than a lamb – a sacrifice to the other side of his Father’s infinite tipping scale. But he hoped – hoped to be wrong.  Why did he not say anything sooner? Why did he not cry out to God and beg him to take his burden away? Oh, foolish pride.

“Be gone from here, Spirit!” Lucifer hissed. Not to God per se, but to the portion of holiness – of Godliness – inside of him.

“As you wish,” God said. “But first, one last song – before the sweetness of your splendor washes away?”

“I shall never sing again.”

“Oh, my child, you shall sing again. An eternal song of agony and despair – though you will have a choir of souls to accompany you, then.”

“Leave me,” Lucifer wept. His wings slouched and his head hung low in defeat.

“You must sing,” God said. “Trust that I know your soul – the sliver of what remains of it – and how it must cope to move onward.”

Lucifer gave a watery glare. Gray clouds began to gather and a tiny gust blew through. Raindrops, barely noticeable to the eye, began to fall as the last of the angels came crashing down from the bleeding sky.

Lucifer opened his mouth, his throat was hoarse from crying, but pride would not let him show anymore of his pain. He would let his words do it – his words showcase the hurt. And so he complied, and gave his last performance.

 “The wind blew and it came – our love was like the pouring rain,

Soaking down, it floods my brain – my sponged-umbrella for my pain.

Why can’t we be, like moons afore? When I left pride at the door?

Though, we’ve both seen this stoop before – our broken love spilt across the floor.

And now, there’s no one there to hold my hand – now our love is like the quickest sand.

Now, I’m drowning here on foreign land – like all of hope without a lamb,

But, who am I to wish for more? For a happiness that soars and soars,

No, this heart, it beats in vain, because our love is like the pouring rain.

Now, going forward in this plane of time – it no longer seems to ease my mind.

Those histories of better times – all seem like such a lifetime.

So, a lonely place, I’ll pray and cry – and there will be no need to dry my eyes.

For under the last cloud I’ll sit and wait…for our love was like the pouring rain.” 

 

And suddenly it was silent – an unnatural silence. The birds still sang, the frogs croaked, the locust played their strings; water flowed and the wind howled, and yet, eternally, there was deathly silence – vacuumed space of pitched ringing. God was gone.

Lucifer looked to the sky. His eyes darted here and there as his lips slightly quivered. Regret, betrayal, fear, anger, hopelessness, vengeance, hatred, love – a tour de force of every emotion imaginable rolled through him like an existential tidal wave, coursing in on his mind and heart. His soul was shattered – broken pieces that now remained in the past.

All he wanted was to be far away from anything and everything that reminded him of his former glory. Far away from the sky and the clouds, where he knew his brothers were invisibly judging him. As far away from God and His heart as it were physically possible to be. With his newfound power inside of him – of his own worth, his own respect, his own love…he metamorphosed into a serpent. Low to the ground; far from the sky.

Better – much better.

With one final fleeting look at the heavens, Lucifer slithered away into Garden of Eden. The Morning Star had finally risen, signaling the start of the end to the never-ending end. 


© Copyright 2019 De'Angelo Joseph. All rights reserved.

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