Two Small Words

Reads: 394  | Likes: 7  | Shelves: 1  | Comments: 9

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Status: In Progress  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic


 

Who would ever think that two small words

 such as "how" and "why" could impact a person's life.

I wasn't asked these questions very often 

when I was younger. "How was school? How are you

today? Why don't you always eat? Why don't

you look in mirrors? Why do you feel so low about yourself?

How come you're always depressed? Why do

you spend all day in your room? etc." 

 

I wonder if I was asked would I have turned out differently.

Would I have confidence, happiness, and love

myself inside and out? Would I feel like I belonged, that I 

wasn't a failure in everything? That I just didn't

take up space. I would like to think, Yes, I would have been

different, positive and upbeat. I try to overcome

these feelings but it is such a daily struggle, one I have been

dealing with for over thirty five years.

 

I had developed bonds with these negative emotions. They

became my best friends over the years. Then I 

realized that my best friends turned into my enemies by 

torturing me daily. Funny, Two small three

letter words did such huge damage.


Submitted: March 06, 2019

© Copyright 2021 jmm424. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:

Comments

Prince EL

Great questions, jmm. I think we all deal with insecurities regardless of the circumstances of our upbringing. Some of us are really good at projecting confidence, but deep inside is the lingering sense of inadequacy. Loving ourselves is a crucial responsibility we all have and we should not allow anything or anyone to stop us from doing that.

Wed, March 6th, 2019 3:26am

Author
Reply

Very true. Thank you for always reading and commenting, Prince EL.

Tue, March 5th, 2019 8:08pm

ratwood2

jimm, I read your short short a couple of times trying to find the connection. How does not being asked questions that have become become redundant at best, idle conversation at worst, cause a feeling of isolation. I would think that being asked something when no one really expects a truthful answer would be more of an influence.

Wed, March 6th, 2019 3:57am

Author
Reply

Just my opinion

Tue, March 5th, 2019 8:06pm

Jeff Bezaire

It's such a tricky thing to ponder. I had parents who were involved in my life as a kid, siblings, friends, and extended family who also cared to ask about me, but still I grew up to struggle with depression and have those days where I feel like I'm taking up space with a useless existence. And when you feel like a ghost or feel like there's no purpose to your life and that you may never do something worthwhile, all the support in the world counts for very little. Focus on today and the people who are asking about you now. The past can't be changed, but today there is someone wondering how you're doing. Ignore the voices in your head long enough to hear the voices around you - there are many caring voices out there.
A well written thought-provoking piece.

Wed, March 6th, 2019 6:43pm

Author
Reply

Thank you for sharing. You are right, I need to listen to the voices around me now. It's hard. Much appreciation for you thoughtful comment, Jeff.

Wed, March 6th, 2019 11:19am

Mike S.

You're NOT a failure, Janeen, but excellent none-the-less!

Wed, March 6th, 2019 7:13pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much, Mike. It means a lot.

Wed, March 6th, 2019 11:17am

hullabaloo22

It's so easy to sit there and think, 'If only...' believe me, I know. But it doesn't put us back in the past. It's gone and we can't change it. Words and experience play a big part in what we become, but we are what we are and have to find our own ways of battling through. Well done for putting those personal thoughts in to words, jmm.

Wed, March 6th, 2019 9:23pm

Author
Reply

I agree with everything you say. I try to leave the past there but it always comes into the present. Thank you, Hull

Wed, March 6th, 2019 2:46pm

jaylisbeth

I feel such a deep connection to your writing, jmm... I can always relate to your words and I think that's the reason why I feel such a close bond to you even if I've never met you.

Thu, March 7th, 2019 2:02pm

Author
Reply

Jaylisbeth, you brought a smile to my face. And I thank you for that. I'm very happy that you found a connection with me but I'm also sad that it's through writings. Which means you've gone through it. And that's not a happy thing. You're a strong woman keep the fight up

Thu, March 7th, 2019 10:17am

Sue Harris

I personally think we are genetically predisposed to be the people we are. For my entire life I have suffered from extreme anxiety, feelings of worthlessness of comparing myself unfavourably to others. That is my default mindset, but I've learned to be a good actress which, to a certain extent, helps. But I constantly have to remind myself 'I can' and 'I will', force myself to do things that are out of my comfort zone, and tell myself I am as good as the next person. I can talk myself round, but that default mindset is always ready to take control, so its a constant battle. I hope this helps you to put things in perspective, to realise you're not alone. Its a terrible affliction, and I have every sympathy for how you're feeling, but you have to challenge the way you think about yourself... you matter, you are worthy, you are a decent human being, you are loved. My advice... get a pet. My dog Sadie adores me, I have to walk her and I meet like minded people, good people. She enriches my life and I her's. Forgive me for rambling, jmm. I hear you, and in your words I hear myself... challenge them! xxx

Thu, March 7th, 2019 2:45pm

Author
Reply

Sue, so much appreciation for sharing what you've gone through and still go through. I don't think it was a ramble I think it was very helpful and thoughtful.

Thu, March 7th, 2019 10:15am

Sharief Hendricks

Such a different perspective of something that we take for granted...

low self esteem is a real thing JMM and you captured it perfectly !

"How" I loved this poem
"Why" because you a so talented !

keep it up JMM

Mon, June 22nd, 2020 1:40pm

Author
Reply

So much appreciation, Sharief!

Mon, June 22nd, 2020 7:36pm

Facebook Comments

More True Confessions Short Stories

Other Content by jmm424

Short Story / True Confessions

Short Story / True Confessions

Short Story / True Confessions