The Day's of a Say: Day 1

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
Today I'm going to be starting a new thing.
I'm going to start writing about how I’m doing. Probably mostly on hard day but maybe a daily thing if I feel like it.
I’m doing this to track what's going on with me.
So here we go…

Submitted: March 15, 2019

A A A | A A A

Submitted: March 15, 2019




Day 1

Today I'm going to be starting a new thing. I'm going to start writing about how I’m doing. Probably mostly on hard day but maybe a daily thing if I feel like it. I’m doing this to track what's going on with me.

So here we go…



Today was definitely one of my harder days for this week.

I could get my mind off of where I am at in life.

Same routine of past work stuff, only if we had a car so I could work, Wish I can go to college,

wish I was better in life.


Little back story about my old job.

A couple of months ago I used to work at a big name civic center (The Berglund Center, VA). My job was setting up events, installing, making, and maintain a hockey rink with working the games, building stages for concerts, conventions, graduations, table setting, chairs, the works.

It wasn't great, the pay was crap, the drama was bad, and the hours were worse. One day I could have worked midnight and then the next day could be 6 pm. I used to like it but so much stuff happened and it changed.


First drama started to happen, ways small, teasing (name calling) and that and then it progress to worse, people were started meaning it. There was vandalism of the company property that was going on. It was a racist word writing on a storage wall and then in my department's office. Management was looking into it when I left they were still looking into it which has been 2-3 months so far.


While that was going on, one of the my former coworkers was being a richard saying good little toe shoes to me, teachers pet. The reason why is because I have trouble understanding people. I have a hearing and processing disorder called Central Auditory Processing Disorder or CAPD. So what I use to do was ask my supervisors to repeat what they say we had to do and then repeat that to make sure I knew what we had to do. I liked knowing what we were doing and that's why he was picking on me by saying that. What he did not know is that I have this disorder. It got underneath my skin because this wasn't the first he has done this, but he was a person who may work 12-15 hours shifts but would hold a cart up on a flat surface the entire time. That day we were doing a changeover (installation of a hockey rink) which means very long and hard day (12 hours of work) it got to me so bad that I was running to get stuff across and entire hockey rink back and forth back and forth to show that screw you i'm working my butt off. I forget how long that is about it was a distance.(Our rink was a couple feet short.) Once we took lunch I talked to my manager (boss) about it and he said he'll talk to him. After some time that same day the richard apologised in the worse way. He said and I quote "I'm sorry I'm a donkey from time to time, but hey you do look like a person who would shoot up the place."


I'm not a person who gets angry, hell barely pissed at people. but when I say that I wanted to knock his lights out and my blood was boiling, I mean it. Still today gets me worked up.I refrained from doing all this so what I did was just stick up a finger and said bugger off. So with this said Mental check mark it as Reason 1


Then a couple months go by working crap and im getting to the point of I'm not making enough and the hours are bad. I been there for probably 8 months doing fantastic work, pulling shifts, still no raise, even though i deserve one. At this time I seen almost a complete crew change over since I started (15+ crew members).  So that was when I was like this sucks so I want to leave, but this was alright idk I may leave, or no, or idk. I had this as (Reason 2) and then the Reason 1 I talked about.


Then a two months pass, I was a tearing down a event and I had a problem with one of the fellow employees. Lazy as can be and got away with a lot of stuff. This man had double the point limit of being fired for no show and all that. He should have been gone a long time but be here is. He was very disrespectful to staff as well as to myself, and he did some shady stuff with his off time which he talked about at work which I’m not going detail in. Easy to put it, he was a scumbag. (side night last day working with him he played on his phone the entire time and didn't work at all.) He also made more money then I did which if your making more than I am then you should be alot better then I am. (He wasn’t) Now I talking about this man because one day he irritated me and then snapped on me the next. So I went and I talked to my boss and he said he would look into. ((By the time I left, he said he was about ready to go to the head person (the General Manager) about disciplinary action against him.)) Then there was everyone getting called into his office to talk and all fun stuff.


Well I believe he didn't take to kindly to that and i think that he started talking to the richard (from Reason 1) about whos talking making our lives troublesome (whos the whistleblower) and all sudden there was investigation on if I was the person who wrote on company property that I talked about earlier.


Now I'm the farthest thing from a person to break the law even more so to judge a person on what they are. I don't care if your a person whos Black, white, blue, purple, or green. I judge who you are not what you are. If your a person who is a funny and nice and likes to help others and gets the job done, I respect that, but when your a person who is complete trash to people and thinks your a hot shot, thats when im like nope not dealing with it.

So with this being said I found this out from a fellow employee. He was close buddy of mine. He was a brother from another mother you could say. One day we're working together flipping tables, stacking them normal thing just having a nice conversation while we did it. Then he stops and he looks at me and says "I don't care what they say about you, your not a racist."

This is coming from a person who is black which the word that was used on company property would affonded. I said thank you in a confused manner. He responded “you haven't heard?”,

I said “heard what?” Short story is my boss said someone said my name and he was asking everyone including him about me. At this time I knew everybody on the crew and there was not one person who I had a problem that would say my name that would try to frame except those too, because they all knew who I was and knew that I would never do that in a million years.


But still, I found this out and I was pissed What the crap! I understand from the perspective of the my boss from the company, He has to look into, but as an employee and friend to most of the crew including the boss This is horse dung. (This is Reason 3)

I thanked my buddy for telling me this and two days later I turned in my resignation letter, and about 3-4 days later I get called into my boss office about why and instead of saying all this that I just wrote about, I just said I leaving for better pay. I wanted out and didn't want anymore drama. I was sick of the disrespect I got from the crew and I had enough. He responded with I wish you came to me earlier about this because I would have looked to see if you qualified for a raise. (After month 1 he said I deserve a raise, this was month 10.) So that's the rough cut of of my job at the berglund center.


Back story on the car/ new job/ college

During that time that I worked at the Berglund Center I drove my grandfathers truck that he lent us because the old outback I used to drive died, and the only car we had was a manual and I haven't learned to drive stick yet. Well I left there  and then my grandfather needed his truck back because we got some bad snow and my grandmother doesn't like driving in the snow without 4WD. So that is why I don't have car.


With that said I live in a house where two other people who work at different times of the day, still during the day. So I can't get a ride to work like that and they are not keen on driving me to work night shift. (being up real late and waking up real early doesn't work when you have to be at work at 7am and then noon for the them. Understandable, can’t be angry with that.)

So that leaves me walking to work during the day or get a lift like uber, or riding the bus. I thought about theses options and there is reasons why I don't do the things. First reason, walking, I live in a very sketchy area. I seen a man get drived by beating, in front of my house. The truck I  used to drive got broken into and then keys that were in there were pitched in the front lawn meaning someone was going to steal it if they were the truck keys. Then there is the drug dens all over the my street with gorked out people roaming the streets. I don't feel safe walking to work and the bus is going to be the same way until you get out of my area. So this leaves uber.


I don't fancy the idea of getting into a strangers car but i'll do it if I had to, however though the fair for where I live is super high. I live in a City and where I live it's either a highway at a very dangerous ramp or heavy traffic downtown. It comes out to be about 14 dollars one way or so that means if I was working for at 8 a hour that's 4 hours just to go work.. (This seems a lot for a one way trip but it’s the truth sadly.) Now brings up the question of do I like the job enough to be like yeah I spend 4 hours working to just go to work and how many days a week am I working. Is it part time, that's less than 40 hours a week so maybe 24 hours and hopefully there more 4 hour shifts.


Now I know that I’m choosing to not do these things and that by these choices this is why I'm in the predicament. I’m not blaming anyone for the why I’m here, just sharing my thoughts and feelings like I said. I know people have gone far worse with far less and still made it work. Still doesn't mean I like my where I’m at.


My plan is once my household gets a second car i'll start working again  and go to college to get a degree, (this is the plan since we had to return the truck.) because I did heavy labor and I don't like how I felt tired all the time but couldn't sleep because my brain was still firing on all pistons because it wasn't used for anything while i worked. But till then I'm stuck home thinking all day. Here's to hoping tomorrow is better.


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