Just a school day

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: March 25, 2019

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Submitted: March 25, 2019

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Quiet. I`m alone at my desk. Writing notes, trying to pass time by doodling. Teacher exits the classroom and 
suddenly - noice. Not by me. I`m ignored - as usuall. Every giggle or voice or sound I hear coming from that 
croud stabs me. Punctures through my ribs, my heart beats so fast - like its gonna stop, my breath becomes 
shallow yet I breath fast. It`s okay. It`ll be over soon. Stay calm.
-----
Everybody should just shut up. How hard is it? Everything you`re saying is idiotic anyway!
Why me? Why? Everyone else got amazing classmates. Oh, God! Once againg my pulse races and I 
feel like I`m about to faint. It`s okay. It`ll be over soon. Just stay calm. Please.
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The bell rings and I stay at my desk. Everybody leaves forgeting I exist. Slowly, I walk towards the door. My heart
skips a beat as I come outside. I see all my classmates in front of me: walking, laughing and having the best time
of their lives while I´m in the back. I walk on my toes so they don´t notice me, but then... A girl catches a sight of 
me in the corner of her eye. No, no, not this. Here it goes. The mocking, bullying, everything starts now. As I try to 
hold back tears that are to come, I realize... That girl didn´t even recognize me. Doesn´t that hurt more?
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Home. I`m home, yet I still feel like nothing. Empty, numb. Hoping tomorow would be different even though I 
know it won`t. Trying to study or write or do anything to distract myself but nothing works. School. I hate that place.
What if theacher picks me to answer? I can`t say anything. What if I fall and everyone laughs? That`d mark me for 
the rest of my life. What if I get an F? Everyone would think I`m stupid and hate me. Or what if I get an A? Then they`ll 
think I`m a smartass and hate me even more.
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At some point I need to realise that nobody cares. I know that sounds cruel, but it´s true.

Because... in the end of the day, everyone is worried aboud their own stuff, their own insecurities, their own fears. 

Even though you think somebody is perfect, in their mind they aren´t perfect enough,

even if you think somebody is extremely smart, in their mind they aren´t smart enough,

and even if you think someone is the best, there is always better.

So stop valuing yourself by comparison,stop trying to be like someone, if you think you should be better,

be. But be because you want to be, not because you feel obligated to.

and lastly....

IF YOUR FRIENDS, FAMILY OR CLASSMATES CAN´T SEE YOUR PERFECTION, DON´T TRY TO PROVE YOUSELF TO THEM, DON´T TRY TO PROVE YOU´RE ENOUGH, BECAUSE...
IF THEY DON´T SEE IT, THEY´RE THE ONES THAT SOULD BE EMBARASSED, NOT YOU. EVER.

Love, Shiatsu.


© Copyright 2019 Shiatsu. All rights reserved.

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