Battle of the Roommates

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: The adventures of a teenage writer

A reflection on the struggles of sharing a room with a stranger.

Life is full of times where you must take on a roommate.

Our first roommates are often siblings but others come late.

My first college roommate became a hassle and we did do battle.

This stranger was a first gen college guy whose family raised cattle.

I was a city fellow with parents that said college is the only option.

It was an idea that my mind was still having trouble with the adoption.

One day I was talking to my roommate about my whole college affair.

In a reflective mood, I felt my thoughts--with my roommate--I should share.

I told how I wanted to do without more education and go pro with sports.

Then my roommate said: Real money is made wearing pants not shorts.

From then on out we were enemies throughout the day and into the night.

In my dreams, I saw him fleeing the dorm as I won the long fight.

One day a friend came over with his poodle that, on the other side, left a gift.

I figured it to be a reminder of home and, most certainly, unpleasant to lift.

The enemy countered with the filth in a plastic wrapper place with my garbage.

 The wrapper was reused from his yesterday roman noodle dinner package.

It was a smell that I believed absolutely fatal to even the strongest of men.

I had to empty the trash with a concentrated blast of my roommates fan.

At that point in time, I was finished with all means of chemical warfare.

I plotted a new strategy for weeks as I gave my enemy a menacing stare.

I resorted to my mom’s old prank of making up a bed in a short sheeted style.

I wasn’t an easy suspect for my bed was unmade, topped with a laundry pile.

I was more dedicated to the war than chores and my roommate seemed to know.

His next strike came at me while I was taking a hot shower relaxing and slow.

He decided to do all his laundry then and swiped my towel for a fuller load.

I would’ve stolen the hot water but the first shower had been taken by that toad.

Even though winter had ended, it was still a cold couple of hours that I waited.

I felt like the whole thing was planned from the start and that I'd been baited.

Next, I employed a psychological attack by inviting hoodlums from the block.

We played video games about thugs and they ate up the snacks I had in stock.

After a while, they said they had to go and take care of some friend with a cold.

As my guest exited the dorm, my roommate asked: Did they get your billfold?

After that incident, I decided to take a break from the battle for a while to think.

I decided on trying intramural basketball because I was too cheap to see a shrink.

I joined the team for my campus housing complex at the requests of this one fellow.

The first practice was at an outside court and you wouldn’t believe who said hello.

It was my roommate standing among the crowd in the shorts he had rejected as a job.

I thought, I hope we scrimmage on opposite teams so I can destroy him and hear a sob.

And fate held that I got that scrimmage, but my roommate was an equal on the court.

I had many off my offensive drives stopped for he was great at defending the fort.

With his offensive game talents, he showed himself to be a major team player.

Yet, he could shoot with confidence and didn’t wear the eyes of prayer.

At the end of the practice, I had a new idea to introduce.

I had decided it was time to sign the truce.

Submitted: April 27, 2019

© Copyright 2021 Forrest Obzerveer. All rights reserved.

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A tricky situation well resolved, Forrest. Nice read that brought a few laughs.

Sat, April 27th, 2019 7:03pm

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