It's Just The Wrong Woman, Over And Over Again

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
taken from my book, "Different Results! PLEASE!!!!!"

Submitted: May 16, 2019

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Submitted: May 16, 2019

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It's Just The Wrong Woman, Over And Over Again

-

A fucked up forever

I'll spend my days waiting forever

A crappy life

And a crummy tomorrow

When will the suffering end?

When will the pain cease?

I can't wait here

__in the non-having of peace

Pieces of me die

Just a little more inside

Day by day

And night by night

It's been 9 years

Since I've truly loved some one

It's been 9 years

Since I've fucked that up

All this time

I've found nobody better

All this time

She went and found some one better

But I can't go backwards

__and get her back

I can't even go and get my best back

Even she no longer loves my ass

I wait around

Aroused, and unwanted

I curse The Heavens, Above

And still, I get no one

Laugh if you may

This all must seem really funny

I am just a "nobody"

Without anybody

But pissing and moaning never did any good

I'm just still losing my mind

Going crazy without my desires fulfilled

I guess love is a sin

So God won't give me some one

__to love me back

What happened to "free will"?

I guess it's not free to be loved

Well, can't I at least

__fuck somebody hot again?

The words "kill me now"

Are all the words that come out of my mouth

The feelings as if I'm already dead

Are all all thee emotions

__that God

____Herself

______can allow me to feel

What's the deal with this unsolvable puzzle?

It's time to panic

I'm just gonna run out of time

And then die

I can't live long enough

__to see the day

I probably will be impotent

Before I find anybody

To replace May

And replace the Melissa days

Without replacing Melissa, herself

Just May

Somebody must be doing this to me

Well, I just hope I get to kill this person

__one day

'Cause he or she

Is taking this too far

I wanna knock the motherfucker out, cold

And snap his or her neck

And put a load of bullets

__into his or her body

____after he or she is already dead

Then, maybe, I can survive this madness

And this drought of intimacy

Will be no more

But even I know

__that I'll never find the fucker

____that is doing this to me

I'll just continue to fall in love

With no love in return

Until my corpse is burned

I'll probably never have to buy a condom again

And never have to take

Another H.I.V. test

But that's thee only bright side

To any of this

Life's a bitch

That no one can buy for me

But expecting me to go out and get her, myself

Is asking too much from me

I'd dig my own grave

Just for fun

But I can't even afford that

Let alone true love

-

05-06-'19 #2

D. L. Cannon


© Copyright 2019 DLCannon. All rights reserved.

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