Dark thoughts

Reads: 322  | Likes: 2  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 3

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

Short monologue about feeling completely out of control with life.

I don’t feel myself , I feel weak like my body can no longer be controlled , I feel weighted so much so that lifting any body part makes me gasp for air , the pain in my stomach getting tighter and tighter as though a hand is clenched around it pressuring it to explode. I feel alone as though no matter how loud I scream no one seems to hear , no matter how much I try to show I’m invisible to the eyes of the world , I forget this feeling sometimes but it comes back every so often and reminds me of everything I’m not , what I can never be and how much I regret letting myself fall deep into the abyss. If only there was a hand to pull me out , I stare into the sky hoping that there will be something to hold onto but to my despair I sink further into a state of trance where I no longer feel anything , I no longer feel pain I no longer wish I was not alone. Yet here I am lying here waiting for someone to care , why can’t I just give up , why can’t I just let go , why can’t I find comfort in nature itself , why can’t I trust myself to be alone. Truth is I want to be alone , alone is easy , alone means there’s no one there to keep hurting me , alone means that I don’t need to feel anymore , I need to give in to that , what’s left in this world for me ? I’ve yet to find my purpose , am I just a rag that no one wants , am I just floating through life waiting to set myself free , I just want it all to end . Everything I want everything to end , the regret , the pain , the torture it’s eating away at my already decomposing mind what have I got left to get through this , nothing fulfils me anymore I can’t find happiness in anything , why do I settle , I’m not happy .


Submitted: May 21, 2019

© Copyright 2021 Holly Lennox. All rights reserved.

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Comments

HJFURL

Compulsive reading there, Holly., I was gripped! Only a suggestion, try breaking the text down into smaller paragraphs - the online reader will get even more impact out of your dramatic fiction.
HJ

Tue, May 21st, 2019 8:46pm

Author
Reply

Thank you ???? I will definitely take your advice on board .

Tue, May 21st, 2019 1:47pm

AdamCarlton

You will find people here on Booksie who share your concerns (if not in real life?). Read similar work from other authors, comment, get comments, share. Tomorrow is a new day. And keep writing - in shorter paragraphs :).

Tue, May 21st, 2019 9:35pm

Author
Reply

Thanks and will do .

Tue, May 21st, 2019 2:36pm

hullabaloo22

I've shared a lot of these thoughts at times. Well expressed, but as others have commented, breaking down in to paragraphs makes it easier to read and gives those words more impact.

Wed, May 22nd, 2019 8:19pm

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