A Fairy Tale Wedding

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A short-story about a man thinking about the implication of a fairy tale wedding

Submitted: June 09, 2019

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Submitted: June 09, 2019

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A fairy-tale wedding.

The air was thick with smoke and anticipation. My best friend was getting married, and there was only one way to celebrate: To party like it was the summer of ‘69.

I looked through my notes. I was meant to give a speech, but I couldn’t decide what I wanted to say. My friend and I sledge each other hard, but I had to keep it balanced as outsiders might not understand our sense of humour.

My friend’s sexy sister, who was also his bride, spoke to me sensually: “Do you have any murders or executions planned for the wedding?”.  Yes, the wedding took place in Westeros!

I didn’t know how to respond. Would I reveal my plan to poison the King and take control of the kingdom, or would I play it cool? I decided to reveal my plan, making it sound like a joke. “Nothing special Danielle, just putting some dragonwort in the King’s chalice to fire up the party,” I said and laughed. “Oh, I would love to see that,” Danielle replied and winked as she walked away to entertain some other guests.

The problem with joking about regicide is that you don’t know whether people support you or not until you give it a shot. But I can tell you one thing, fairy-tale weddings are incredibly stressful!

When I am back on Earth, I often hear women talk about how they want a fairy-tale wedding. They don’t know what they are talking about. I have attended ten fairy-tale weddings, and there have been fatalities on eight of them.  Regicides, dragon attacks, angry fairies, and vengeful gods; it’s a miracle I am still alive!

I have also attended several weddings in the real world. The most significant incident I ever witnessed was someone rolling an ankle. Easily fixed with an icepack. Definitely less scary than Morgor the Red Dragon!

Speaking of Morgor, did I smell smoke? I panicked because I hadn’t brought my sword nor my magic wand. Then I realised that I was in the real world, and the smoke was from a minor fire in the kitchen, and someone had pressed the fire alarm button as a precaution.

The fire alarm went off, and we had to go out in the icy rain. My friend’s real bride Sandra was upset and cried that her dress was ruined. She scolded my friend Brian because of the rain. “I dreamt of a fairy-tale wedding, and you gave me this,” Sandra exclaimed.
“Vive Silencia Noctis,” I said and realised that the silence spell didn’t work in the real world.
“Huh?” Sandra replied.
Well at least no-one died,” I said with a reassuring voice.
“I can’t believe Brian made you his best man,” Sandra said and stormed off.

Eventually, the fire was put out, and we returned to the venue. As we walked in, Brian approached me: “You pronounced Noctis one note too high!” he said with a disappointed voice and returned to his bride.


 


© Copyright 2019 Martin Lundqvist. All rights reserved.

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