Paper planes

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 1 (v.1) - Chapter 1

Submitted: June 12, 2019

Reads: 49

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Submitted: June 12, 2019

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What if one day, the sun decided that it did not want to rise? What if it was just too tired of carrying its part in the galaxy ‘system, and it needed a day off? What would happen to everything around it? The whole gravity pulling itself and orbits depending on that exact rising, all of it would fall apart drafting our world into chaos. Everyone is a sun. Every one of us is important into someone else’s whole system and without our existence, some people’s whole world would crumble. Luz, my sun, I stare at you, and your light is radiating in the whole room. I reach out for you and our hands are finally touching, I feel like everything is whole again. I never want to let go; please hold on tight to me. As I close my eyes, everything starts playing backwards, as if my brain was taking me back in time to when everything started. I am four; you have so many friends that come to our house and play. I can’t play I’m too young to hang out with. I sit with mom and cry about it. I am eight; you sneak out to play with your friends so that I don’t follow you; “but I am grown now!” I scream every time when you come back; “yes but not enough to play with us!” I am ten now; you sit with your girl friends in our bedroom and lock the door so that I can’t join. You share secrets that you think I wouldn’t keep as I stand on the other side of the door, trying to understand what it means to be a teen. Now that I am twelve, you tell me some things from time to time, but never allow me to sit with your friends. It’s time for you to leave to college, and I am not ready to say goodbye. Distance made us closer, how weird is that? You started missing me, always trying to keep a conversation and never wanted to hang up. Holidays were warm and we spent the whole time gossiping and talking as if we were best friends and life separated us. Six years have passed; six years and it was finally time for me to graduate from high school and go back home where you lived so that we could start a new chapter. January 29th, 2014. Four months left before I turn eighteen, and four months left before graduation. Some dates stick with us no matter how hard we try to forget them, they just can’t seem to be erased. On Wednesdays, last class were two hours of philosophy, meaning two hours of me and my friends ditching class and eating burgers behind the gymnasium. -“I wish senior year was longer. I’m not ready to graduate yet man. -Not me, I can’t wait to leave this garbage place behind for good. -What about you May? What do you think? -Me? I’m just excited to finally be with my sisters again. -Wait, don’t you mean sister? -No I actually have two. -Well, leaving the country or not I’m just glad I’m leaving this rat hole behind.” With that came the school’s bell ringing and everybody started coming out of class and walking towards the door. As we were leaving, I felt a hand sliding into mine, fingers interlacing. I didn’t have to look before smiling, because this hand was very familiar with mine. -“Hey Mason. -When are you going to stop ditching? -Don’t worry it’s just philosophy. -Yes and? Philosophy is important you should start attending -I will do my best next time” I couldn’t help but smile, he was always serious when it came to education: school attendance, keeping the good grades, applying for good colleges and all of the boring things that did not matter as much to me. He was even filling up my applications; that boy was an angel. He held my hand until we reached the gas station next to our school, which was the squad’s meet up point. Every two or three were talking about different subjects and screaming, standing in a big circle. Mason left my hand before whispering his goodbye and I just joined Xena and her brother so that we could leave together. They dropped me home while arguing about who was going to have the big sofa for their nap and not even payed attention to me leaving the car. Candice, our maid answered the door letting me in. usually she greets me with lots of hugs and kisses but today, she seemed upset. -“What’s wrong? Who upset you? -Nothing, I am trying to understand what’s happening to your mother” What does she mean? I go inside looking for my mother, dropping my bag on the chair next to the kitchen’s door. It wasn’t hard spotting the woman crying in the living room, sitting in our neighbor’s lap. I approached her asking what was wrong but she did not even look at me. -“Mrs. Amy what happened? Is my father okay? -Yes honey he’s fine he just arrived from work. Your grandmother is sick, so your mother has to travel back home to see her” Without thinking I rushed into my parents’ bedroom to see my dad. I opened the door, opened my mouth to ask about my mom’s crying but stopped right then because he was also crying. I did not understand why was my dad home so early and why was he crying if my grandmother was sick. I needed to know what was happening so I grabbed my phone to text Luz and saw that she had texted me two hours earlier. “Hey May when you get home talk to me” “Hey Luz I’m here what’s happening why are your parents crying?” “Listen I have to tell you something, I did not want to text you this morning because you had school” “Is Sarah okay?” “Yes fine. Remember last week I told you I was going to run some tests at the hospital because I was feeling tired?” “Yes..?” “Turns out I have cancer, Lol” What a nice way to tell the news. I had to read that text over and over, because my brain was not processing information anymore. My phone kept on buzzing but I was just starring in the blank, not realizing that I was screaming the whole time. My mother finally looked at me, crying harder now. I finally grabbed my phone again. “What do you mean you have cancer you can’t have cancer you’re perfectly fine” “May, listen you can’t panic now mom is freaking out and she needs you” “But you are fine you have nothing what do you mean you have cancer? I told you to eat more fruits why wouldn’t you just listen to me” “May stop this I am going to be okay I just have to take a treatment but everything is fine” With that she sent me a picture of her smiling, to try and calm me down. Everything went fast afterwards. My mom took her luggage and walked out the door, leaving me with Candice and Mrs. Amy. I was avoiding eye contact with her but it was inevitable; once we locked eyes I started crying again, crashing in her lap and calling my sister’s name over and over. Candice understood what was happening eventually, and she went to the kitchen to find shelter and cry by herself. Mrs. Amy left and I went to my room, thinking that maybe if I took a nap I would wake up and everything would be better. I don’t know if I slept or if I was just lucid dreaming, but I jumped when someone opened the door. It was Emily my sister in law and she was carrying Amanda my baby niece. -“Look at you wrapped up like the mess you are! Get up let’s have a talk -Hey baby girl! Oh look at you” She put Amanda on my bed and I reached out to take her in my arms. She started biting my cheeks as a failed attempt to kiss me and I held her tight to feel the love she was trying to give me. -“May you have to get yourself together, your father hasn’t eaten anything since this morning. Look I know that nothing I say would make you feel better but you can’t let this get to you. You have to fight your own battle here, which is helping your dad out because you know how weak he is and if anything happened to him Luz won’t take it well. Go make him eat” I got up, taking Amanda with me because I knew how much my dad cared about her. I found him in the living room sitting across Gus, my brother and Amanda’s dad. I put Amanda in my father’s lap without asking if he wanted to hold her or not. -“I’m going to get you something to eat” He just nodded and smiled to Amanda who was now tapping her tiny hand on his big palm. On my way to the kitchen I heard someone at the door and went to open. It was Xena. She went in and said hi to everyone before going directly to my bedroom. I went to the kitchen, fixed a plate for my dad and went back to give it to him. He started eating and feeding Amanda who was drooling all over his food. I went back to my bedroom, opening my closet to find something to change in from my school uniform. When I looked over at Xena, she was crying silently. -“I really don’t know what to say -You don’t have to say anything” I sat next to her and she hugged me, crying harder. We stayed there in silence for a while, with my head laying on her shoulder. I fell asleep and did not know what happened next and when did she leave. My father woke me up the next day for school. He seemed calm, a little bit pale and his eyes were puffy from all the crying. I went to school without any breakfast and somehow managed to arrive late. The day was going by slowly and I wanted it to be over so I can go back home and stay in my bed forever. Last hour was a free period so I looked for a corner where I could sit and enjoy some silence. I sat on the stairs that lead to the third floor, a bag of tissues next to me and earphones blasting loud music in my ears. A hand found its way on my shoulder and I looked up to see Matt, a soft smile drawn on his lips, before looking down again. He sat next to me in silence for a while and it seemed like he wanted to ask what was wrong but was waiting for me to talk. He handed me a tissue, nudging his shoulder against mine and making me crack a tiny smile. -“Love?” I shook my head a no. -“Family?” I nodded. -“Do you want to talk about it? -Luz, she has cancer” It was the first time I pronounced such words. He did not react nor move; he simply took my hand into his, holding it tight as if his words wouldn’t be able to express what he felt. He stayed next to me for the whole hour and walked with me to the school door when the bell rang. There I saw Mason, with a worried look on his face. -“Where have you been this whole hour I was looking for you. Wait were you crying? Is everything okay? -Yes don’t worry” Matt came right behind me and gave Mason a look, as to say let’s talk on the side. Six seconds later Mason came to me, grabbing me in a tight hug and whispering words of sorrow in my ears. He liked talking to me in whispers, and it always made me feel safe having him this close to me. He walked with me to where Xena was parked like every day and when he saw her they both nodded at each other as if they were telling each other that they know. The drive home was silent, no fighting on the big sofa this time. Xena proposed that I go eat at her house. I tried rejecting her invitation but she insisted so I finally gave in. Her mother welcomed me with wide open arms before asking me how I was feeling and how my father was, and if I had any news. I told her that I hadn’t heard from them yet, but Sarah told us when she went to the airport to pick up my mom. We had launch and I ate forcefully because Xena’s mom was watching me the whole time and throwing more food on my plate each time I finished it. After launch I grabbed my phone and talked to Sarah, trying to have news about the whole situation. The percentage of cancer was increasing in a fast way and they hadn’t found a hospital to start the treatment yet. Not a single hospital had an available room. All I can do from this far was to pray for her, pray that everything would be fine again. I went back home around five o’clock and found my dad sitting at the dining table starring at his plate that seemed untouched. -“Hey dad how was your day -Oh hey May I did not hear you come” I sat on the chair across from him and crossed my arms waiting for him to eat. He finally gave into my looks and started eating. Candice was standing behind the door, trying to steal any news about Luz but also making sure that my father ate. When he finished and went to his room, I went to the kitchen and sat with her, telling her everything I knew. She said that we had to pray and hope for the best and I agreed by only nodding the whole time. They say that time heals everything, or that with time we get used to things. It took me two weeks to finally stand up, and start taking care of things. Luz was now having her first chemo treatment and no one there was giving news. Nothing. Her phone was now off, she wouldn’t answer nor talk to me. The same applies to my mother, who haven’t spoken to me since she arrived there. She needed some space maybe, to process the whole situation. But I needed some space too, and I also needed my mother. I could hear my father every night calling home and waiting hopelessly for someone to pick up, and for someone to give him good news. Sarah answered eventually, and tried to reassure him; he just wanted to talk to Luz, but he was told that nobody was allowed in her room. I was fighting back, and I had promised myself not to cry; for Luz, and for my father. So every night when Sarah hung up, I went to his room, helped him stand up and sat him on the dinner table. He sometimes refused to eat, but I insisted, telling him that I would stop eating too. He didn’t want to get more bad news so he ate, had his medicines and went to his room to pray for her. Pray. One of the words that I used a lot, and heard a lot at the time. People would see me every day, and would tell me every day that they were praying for her. He prayed every night, every morning and every noon. He would cry harder in his prayers, asking for forgiveness, and for help. I would pray too. It was the only thing that I could do, miles away from her. I believe that dealing with a disease is the worst kind of torture, and that it is even harder than losing the person once and for all. Because when you lose them, you are certain that they won’t come back, and that’s the end of it. You take your time to grief. But when they are fighting against death, the fear you get that at any moment they can be gone, but you just don’t know when, is like going through hell. You keep thinking about it, you just wish you could give them some faith of yours, so that they would hold on to it. I guess the reason why we want them to stay is not because we love them so much. Still we do but the main reason is that, deep down we know that if they go, we will forget them even if we try not to. And it hurts to know that we are moving on, and they are gone.


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