Chains

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic

Featured Review on this writing by Elise Pannon

One woman owns the courage to embrace the journey. Her name? Few know it. From the dust of the Earth, from the depths of the heart, to the core of the soul and spirit, secrets must reveal and chains must shatter.



Note: This is NOT finished. Would greatly appreciate feedback for what is there.

Table of Contents

Cursed


Her mission...deliver a package, unless interrupted by an unusual, extraordinary encounter.
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Revelation


Insights may come from unexpected places and may not be what one anticipates.
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Fortisa's Idea


The chains may hold an unleashing secret.
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Destination


Fortisa made a choice...not looking good.
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Illness


Fortisa's desire for a warm meal and a place to rest for herself and William is something other than she expected.
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Flashback


A woman is dying and an unknown illness shows signs of becoming a plague.
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New Bodies


Evidence of the spread of the plague Fortisa finds at a deserted campsite.
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What is Real Might Not be...Real

William's soft muzzle nudged against her shoulder.  Awakening, Fortisa giggled, pushing him away.  Michail’s eyes opened. ... Read Chapter

Fishing


Something to eat besides gruel.
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A Matter of Honor


Treasure versus integrity, which holds the greater weight?
Read Chapter


Check out Elise Pannon's Book


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What does a parent do, when every attempt to save the life of one's child, when that child, adult child, is an active heroin addict? The answer came from the Parable of the Prodigal Son.

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Recent Comments

Elise Pannon

Please forgive the formatting. I have tried numerous times to fix it. Now waiting to hear back from the powers-that-be from this site, as to how to go forward.

Tue, June 18th, 2019 12:52pm

Elise Pannon

I have published Chapter 4 twice. It isn't showing. Given that, fearful of the formatting, what it will look like.

Tue, August 27th, 2019 10:22pm

J P Lundstrom

I'm interested to know why you use the ellipsis so often. The reader would be more comfortable following your story if the dot-dot-dot did not occur so often.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PotxJPBG-wU We all kow that the ellipsis indicates a pause, as when the speaker loses his train of thought, OR when words have been omitted from a quotation. https://thewritepractice.com/how-to-use-an-ellipsis-correctly/
So you can see where the reader may become uncomfortable when it feels like the author has left something out or lost his/her train of thought.
For your readers' sake, be as specific as possible. Write in complete sentences. Vary your word choice. And choose other punctuation to indicate pauses. https://writersrelief.com/2012/07/20/halt-punctuate-adramatic-pause/
Don't let your readers think you were too inattentive to do a thorough job.

Sun, August 30th, 2020 2:47am

Author
Reply

Thank you for asking. As I reread the chapter, people don't always talk in complete sentences. They pause, especially if they are not sure what to say next. I tried commas, but in my head, and when I read the dialogue aloud, the ellipsis presents the impact I wish to display at least in dialogue.

However, you have given me something to think about and I will review this.

I greatly appreciate the review, as it gives a good deal of insight. I've gone over these chapters so many times, I think I fail at this point to pick up on items you have caught. I read your comment and think to myself, "Why didn't I see it?"

Thank you again!!! :) :)

Sun, August 30th, 2020 7:25am

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