Featured Review on this writing by Robert Helliger

July Special Offer! Russian Lashes Only £50!

Reads: 148  | Likes: 4  | Shelves: 2  | Comments: 6

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
As seen in an Essex (Harlow) Hairdresser's Shop Window!

Image by prettysleepy1 at Pixabay

Submitted: July 15, 2019

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Submitted: July 15, 2019

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July Special Offer

Russian Lashes

Only £50!

 

‘I zinc it’s time for me to inflict my Russian Lashes, don’t you darlink?’

‘No! No! Not the Russian Lashes!’

‘Keep still, darlink, I should tell you, I have ze degree in Civil Engineering.’

Miss Olga Whiplash holds me still in her steely weightlifter’s grip and inflicts her first lash.

Swish!

‘Aargh! What was that for?’

‘Zat was for Stalingrad. I zinc it’s time for lash number two, don’t you darlink?’

‘No! No! Not the Russian Lashes!’

Miss Whiplash pads to the far corner of the bedroom, sprints up to me and inflicts her second lash.

Smack!

‘Aaaargh! What was that for?’

‘Zat was for the Cold War. I zinc it’s time for your final lash now, don’t you darlink?’

‘No! No! Not the Russian Lashes!’

Miss Whiplash picks out her finest cat o’ nine tails, the ones with the loosest spikes, takes a deep breath, crouches in the relay position, springs forward, sprints up to me and inflicts her third, and final lash.

Thwack!

‘Aaaargh! What was that for?’

‘Zat was to zank you for fouling up Brexit! Ve couldn’t have done it better ourselves!’

‘Same time next week, Mr Bobsleigh?’

‘Yes, please, Mistress!’


© Copyright 2019 HJFURL. All rights reserved.

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