we are not who we are

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Science Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Before reading,
Please sign the attached agreement
I ______________________________ have a high enough IQ to realise that any reference made to characters in stories do not actually represent any real characters in real life either living or dead, and any similarities, to anything, are purely metaphorical
should not be taken literally, and do not depict real life situations
nothing really means anything
writers just write, these things are just things

I also hereby declare I ________________________________________________________
understand and accept to agree to not think too much about any of the senseless bullshit we ponder and ruminate and speculate on over here
or anywhere for that matter

So... now we're all signed up we just put everything aside
sit back and wait
to not get too over excited about anything
because if you've just signed up this month, then Congratulations!
There will be nothing to pay and nothing to lose
and you'll make no mistakes you'll be able to remember!

So set yourself up in a comfy seat
and before you waste too much more time plowing through and churning around all those pesky little thoughts that niggle you all the time
you know all those maudlin musings about stuff, those pesky little thoughts that just do nothin
other than go TEE HEE and shove you down in to that spiralling spinning vortex and giggle sweetly as they tunnel you down further and further until you finally think you've achieved some kind of lame ass little ricketty insight when all you've really achieved is the total and utter hyperfuck of your day

Just sit back and agree that nothing really matters and nobody really knows anything
or has even the slightest vaguest ideas or insights behind any of the bullshit we echo on about 
to eachother all the time
because all the speculation does is speculate
and the only thing that any of us will ever really
deeply truly viscerally and irrefutably know to be a rock solid truth
is that the good crew down here at the mind wipe department are ready to take your bag for the team

So just sign away and then you can go slip off in to one of those classic roaring super snorer
100 decibel comas that leave everyone else there to lay awake in the dark memorising your heart waves and breathing patterns staring off in to space for hours upon hours eventually sighing deeply
to themselves like fuck OK why don't I just sign the document too
it wont even mean anything and nobody will give a shit

Our sick amazing product really works
even all the mega ton producers of every billion dollar shit drivel corporation can go forget about everything if they sign up this month 
it's the new ingenious way to get more organic and defeat paying taxes and stop givin a fuck 

So before you spend another night laying awake obsessing over every little thing you've ever fucked up in your whole entire life and ya wind up shit-disturbingly screaming internally when you're in the express lane cuz you're 99 items over the checkout limit

Just sign again here _________________________________

Forget about everything that you think that you think
before you freak out and we freak out and everyone goes nuts and starts broadcasting their thoughts and badgering each other like poli-sci students just sit back and relax and let the good crew take your bag for the team and the ubermensch utalitarian goodness of all things 
Just secure your classified documents and then sign away, it's easy as one two threeeee


and set yourself up in that comfy seat
so that you're ready for when all the good people down at the Oh My God, This Means This Inc. PTY LTD who are currently still working overtime weighing shit far too heavily
to send off to the good folk working down at the Fake News department and Rumour Mill the next Hottest Top News Articles and bullshit
we can lap up from our TV screens as we kick back and relax all our minds will just spontaneusly rappell backwards going Oh Yeah Gee Whiz!
And suddenly in that second inexplainably all our thoughts will just go blink blink blink blink
then they will go suddenly blank
like we’ll all forget everything we’ve ever said and everything we’ve ever done together
like wow like isn’t that just unbelieveable hey isn’t that just so amazingly great
so before you start caring just that little bit too much about nothin and then confusing yourself in to another colossal mental meltdown
accept the terms and conditions and no one will have even the vaguest idea about anything and you can let yourself happily just start not thinking too much about nothin

Nothing could possibly go wrong, right?

*disclaimer* atleast until those fuckers at the top of the food chain get Googles functionality released in to a discreet contact lens format for the masses
so they can connect you all in and kick you back to collect all your deepest darkest thoughts and secrets while you just sit back and subliminally obtain all the real-time hunna percent live news straight from the breakfast morning shows new bullshit straight in to your google contact lenses
the latest greatest peer-reviewed super pseudo-science journals right hot from the real press release from the top of the toppest secret He Said She Said Bullshit declassified empty CIA documents
to really get you to think that you're thinkin and thinkin and that you're goin somewhere with this going-nowhere train of thought and you're buzzin an hummin away happily and you're wanking and emptily thinkin about all this superduper important totally irrelevant stuff until you feel so comfortable and informed again with your extreme bullshit google lens top news article ridiculous technology that you discover you can click so super far back through some lame ass celebrities lives with your VR lens set that you can deadset wind up in their mothers uterus with 13 megapixel camera and a 3x zoom lens sharp enough to fry the placenta
and you can just stand there taking pathetic little teet-a-teets and jumping up and down till a bit of piss leaks down your leg in to your sock and it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy 
know what I’m sayin, vocally speaking and shit


I hereby agree, only God and the Google Lens will judge me
and in any event again I _____________________________________ hereby declare
I absolve the producers of the endless shit drivel and everyone of everything
and we'll all sit there laughin about nothin
and the next time we think about creating an encrypted data link and opening up our organic trapdoors wide enough to say something that we think that we think we’ll think
we accidentally take a great big gaspy sip of nothing and suck our own metaphorical cocks and shed some tears on our metaphorical balls and drip that ball juice down our cardigans then you might forget everything that’s ever happened again and fuck right off until you get back here again for the next dumbest episode of this n that shit that doesn’t mean anything just some sorry shit from your lamest celebrities live hoe down celebrity embarassing egodeath showdowns and then you'll be burying your thoughts and confusion for good and silently shooting the shit with all the other smarty pants mofos with their shameful google lens addictions making us all feel like the bunch of weirdo freaks we all really are

and we couldn’t change it if we could so just sign the papers and connect in ya iris 
if you sign up this month it won't cost you a cent, what's there to lose?
We'll even throw in a bunch of absolutely nothing, absolutely free!

and then for only ten thousand brief credit card reaming visits
you won't even notice but you'll be laughing right back to yesterday
smashing through each level and quest without a thought without a care in the world
locked in an endess little series of blinking endless blinking endless bullshit endless distractions of nothing endless futures away endless ghosts of lost pasts and memories and futures not yet pasts just warm saccidic snow blown glows of rocking waves of gentle breeze of distant calls and murmurs
endlessly blinking and not thinking about stuff
as ice cubes tinkle and clinkle in your glass with cola swirling these glittery limpid cadenzas of cascading waves crescending neverending
time just going faster and faster and faster and faster until you die

forever in the VR reality and infinite indimensional immortality
just decomposing and recomposing your composure

Janatipati panturai koparet arankavalaraka bandhur atmaanass satruuvatte saddhii 


bandhur atma atmanas satruvate bhanamanas atrvuvatet sadhiiti

dont take anything too seriously ok. hip hip hooray!


Submitted: July 20, 2019

© Copyright 2022 Not for Everyone. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


Derina Peng

I signed my name three times! But what the fuck do you want to say!!!??? Can I get my signatures back? Plus one of your own? Did you use a dictionary to flick through the pages and put down whatever you saw at first and last on the page, or you just used a keyboard and typed at random then posted it? Do you have more work like that? Are you an alien too? Which planet were you from?

Sat, July 20th, 2019 2:15pm


How can one make the last 2/3 of this change to a smaller and smaller font size and begin scrolling rapidly?

Sat, July 20th, 2019 2:19pm


Brilliant! Had me rolling on the floor looking for my false teeth that had once held a cavity, enveloping the last two brain cells I'd been born with. They evaporated completely by the conclusion, however; none of my imaginary friends have noticed. It could very well have been a dream, I reckon. I do know I love you though, and that's enough to keep me going. Well done, you are awesome and you rock my socks. Succinct, effective, surprising, and satisfying. What more could I ask for? Who the hell do I think I am, a paying customer? I want a refund. Five stars.

Fri, July 26th, 2019 2:56am

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