Wandering around in circles hoping to be found, I look up only to see the same cruel world above. People passing by, staring, as usual, looking surprised at what they see. Maybe thinking, “This poor man, where did he go wrong, is he on drugs, is he crazy?” It used to bother me when I first landed on the streets, I was ashamed of who I’ve become. Now I don’t think about it. I guess I don’t care. It took me to be homeless to finally not care what people think of me.
I get up off the cold wet sidewalk and usually start my day searching for a dumpster in the back of a restaurant so I can fill my stomach. The smell is terrible, but I have to eat. Then I walk. Sometimes all day without stopping. I have nowhere to go, just walk. Nobody to see, just faces. I feel everybody looking but nobody talks to me. So I walk. As the day goes on I find some half bitten sandwich or take puffs of a lit cigarette that somebody tossed away.
My feet become swollen with blisters. I have no shoes, just socks. So I rest. When the pain in my feet lessens, I walk some more. I’m tired. I have to find my next sleeping spot. I used to hide and sleep tucked away down some old cobblestone alleyway. That was when I cared. Now it's right on any sidewalk in front of lots of people hoping that I might get some spare change. So I sleep.
Usually a light sleep. I hear all the sounds of the night, a barking dog, people talking, cats meowing, and the occasional drunk peeing against a wall only a few feet from me. Some people laugh at me, throw things at me or just shout “Get a job bum!” Often I have to get up and move away, to avoid being kicked or punched. So I walk.
Not knowing my destination. No birthdays or holidays to look forward to.
Sometimes I think I'll be recognized by a family member or an old friend and maybe they would stop and talk to me. Maybe they would help me get back to my old self. Maybe we could laugh and tell stories of how it used to be. Maybe they could help me get a shower and put on clean clothes.
Maybe I could eat a cooked meal off a plate with a knife and fork in a warm home. Maybe, just maybe, I could feel loved again.
Sometimes this dream seems so real as if it’s going to happen at any moment. But it quickly ends when I hear a screaming voice telling me to get off the sidewalk and keep moving. Maybe someday this fantasy of mine will come true, but for now, I’ ll just keep walking.
~ Jim Mcgranaghan
Submitted: August 03, 2019
© Copyright 2021 Jim McGranaghan. All rights reserved.
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Awesome one
He is too proud to pan handle yet it is very real when your homeless.Noone ever gives. The solitude is unbearable. I can be there too with your story.You have a good grip on reality.The homeless protagonist is still a proud human even though no one around him says he is.That's the type of hell it is. Just to keep your personality.
Tue, November 5th, 2019 3:00pmWhat a sad picture this story paints! Nice work, with vivid imagery that tugs at the heart strings.
Thu, November 7th, 2019 1:54pmExcellently written glimpse into the lives of the homeless. Flash-fiction served this piece well. The final line of the story hits hard.
Fri, November 8th, 2019 4:36pmVery sad and powerful. Well written, and so very true.
Fri, November 8th, 2019 6:53pmI like this. In a very few words, the author catches the anguish, discomfort and desolation one must feel when experiencing such a miserable existence. Just hope Jim will come up with a longer story next time.
Sat, November 9th, 2019 6:39pmNice!
Another novel, I've started to read this week is Billionaire's Intense Love- https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07ZVC9KPW (available on amazon kindle)
very well said. Paints a grim picture but an accurate one.
Tue, November 12th, 2019 6:40pmOutstanding!! I could feel exactly what the character is going through. Keep up the good work
Mon, November 25th, 2019 11:21amSad, well written x
Wed, December 11th, 2019 8:14pmGreat story. A joy to read.
Sun, December 15th, 2019 3:19amI am so moved...love it
Thu, December 26th, 2019 9:04amThis story says a lot using a few words. Good story.
Fri, December 27th, 2019 6:23pmWow. This makes me sad. Well written.
Sat, December 28th, 2019 7:10pmThis is very nicely written, and the story is quiet amazing as well. Good job with the realism of this piece.
Tue, December 31st, 2019 5:35pmI see this story recommended everywhere to me, and I finally decided to read it lol. I'm so glad I did! It is so sad but true, I see homeless people and I always wonder what's going through their heads, and this has given me an idea. And I thought I knew that hopeless feeling, but this is so much worse then I could ever imagine. There is so much emotion in this story I can't help but want to cry for everyone out there, I wish I could help everyone lol.
Sun, January 26th, 2020 5:54amWow,great piece.So touching.
Tue, January 28th, 2020 6:57amSad...
Tue, January 28th, 2020 5:57pmWow, I was so moved with the story. I felt like I was the one in the story. This is very touching.
Tue, January 28th, 2020 6:27pmFacebook Comments
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Tue, November 5th, 2019 2:53pmAwesome one
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Thank you Haywire, I appreciate your comment!!
Fri, December 20th, 2019 10:48am