Let no rose die in vain

Reads: 280  | Likes: 5  | Shelves: 3  | Comments: 7

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

So, after months of not writing any new poetry, this one is very recent, and I still feel a bit insecure about it, but here goes nothing. I'm actually proud of the first stanza, I feel like it translates what I was feeling and imagining as I wrote quite well.

Photo by unknown

Light the candles

Watch them melt

Count the petals as you pick them

One by one

Prick the sensitive spots on your neck

With the thorns from the stem

Let no rose die in vain.

 

The wind enters through open doors

And open windows and open floors

To join me in my tryst.

The wine presses lingering kisses to my lips.

The flames flicker to warm my skin.

And yet, I feel so alone.

 

It's time to close the doors

And the windows and the floors.

It's time to close the doors

And the windows and the floors.

It's time, to close.

It's time.

 

 

Christy


Submitted: August 07, 2019

© Copyright 2020 Christy Writes. All rights reserved.

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Comments

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Bob Ueland

the second stanza is my favorite. A beautiful poem. Sensitive like the breeze. You have the gift.

Thu, August 8th, 2019 12:37am

Author
Reply

Thank you!

Thu, August 8th, 2019 3:29am

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Jeff Bezaire

It starts off very moody - the first stanza has a gothic, horror feel, and the second stanza asserts a more intimate atmosphere, but holds onto the gothic feel until the last line. The final stanza is a powerhouse of emotion, snuffing the light of intimacy and romance from the previous stanzas. It makes everything abundantly clear.
I like the repetition of 'and' in the second and final stanza - it creates a wonderful flow for each of the lines.
I really like this poem for the mood it creates for the first two-thirds of it, and I like your wording throughout, but its sad ending makes me feel conflicted on how much I should like this poem. It's very well written!

Thu, August 8th, 2019 12:40am

Author
Reply

I gave it another read, and I did notice some gothic elements with the melting candles and the plucked roses, though horror wasn't exactly what I was aiming for lol. This poem is actually about waiting for a lover who will never come. I find the ending more bittersweet than sad; it represents the first step the narrator has to do to move on.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting, my friend. I'm glad you liked this poem. c:


Thu, August 8th, 2019 3:38am

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Melancholic Wisdom

This is an interesting poem, I agree with Jeff, it's got a really dark and gothic feel throughout the entire piece. It creates a very chilling atmosphere, and I'm a big fan of that. Nice job, Christy, I love it :)

Thu, August 8th, 2019 5:39am

Author
Reply

Thank you, Nik!

Thu, August 8th, 2019 3:39am

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hullabaloo22

I'd describe this as haunting, a feeling reinforced by the breeze. And I'd agree with Jeff about the Gothic touch, with the candle and the rose.
This has to be one of your best, at least for me, Christy.

Thu, August 8th, 2019 7:06pm

Author
Reply

Oh, thank you so much Hully, it means a lot! I also think I did something with this one. :)

Thu, August 8th, 2019 12:33pm

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H. Adams

something started flowing through this poem when you said "the wind enters through open doors; and open windows and open floors". that line released some kind of energy for me. something about that made me imagine myself in an overwhelming wind tunnel of a room, where you're just being blown endlessly towards the center of the room because the wind is coming from every direction. agonizing, yet beautiful and freeing. this is very very gorgeous.
i absolutely love how you make your writing personal and how you address the reader at the end by leaving your name. it's almost like you're writing letters to us :3
i could analyze this poem even more and point out more that i love, but i'll stop and spare you the time. wonderful job!!

Tue, August 13th, 2019 5:46am

Author
Reply

Actually, I leave my name in case someone wants to take a screenshot of my poem lol. I never thought it makes it seem like a letter, that's a lovely way to look at it. :)
In a way, I think my poems are very personal letters. They're how I tell you about intimate feelings I don't always get to talk about in real life. Writing this, for example, wasn't very easy, but it felt freeing to let these thoughts and these feelings out into the open.
Thank you for reading! Next time, feel free to analyze and dissect my work as much as you like. I'd love to talk about and explain details further. :)

Tue, August 13th, 2019 5:26am

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CmT

I really enjoyed getting to read this. The first stanza does a great job of teasing this feeling of futility, which becomes more tragic and final by the last stanza.

Sat, August 17th, 2019 1:55am

Author
Reply

Thank you for reading!

Mon, August 19th, 2019 3:29am

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Raven Akuma

What a beautiful and well-worded poem! The overall flow is simply perfect, and your rhyme scheme is perfect and fitting. And the wording just creates such a beautiful picture. Excellent work, friend! :)

Wed, September 11th, 2019 4:09am

Author
Reply

Thank you! :)

Wed, September 11th, 2019 4:30am

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