double switch blade

I could feel how the weapon you handled so carelessly slowly went through me.

I could feel the slick silver blade, the metal as it dripped in my blood, the soft outside with its sharp, fine edges.

I could feel it when you would push it farther and farther just to see how much of it I could take. 

I could feel your anger and frustration.

I knew what was going on in your head.

But you repeatedly pushed you weapon, in and out of me like you could feel nothing.

Sympathy was not an emotion you carried.

You looked me dead in the eye, you saw it in my eyes.

You saw that it was not intentional. None of it was. 

You were one hundred percent aware of what you were doing. Everything you were saying.

There's no excuse. You knew damn well what would happen the moment you shove your weapon into me.

I'll tell you, it didn't feel good.

And i hate you for doing it.

But i love you too much to show you such pain in return.

I had given you the world and i guess that you wanted the galaxy that i was just not capable of giving you. 

So you had to make it hurt.

You had to do the extreme.

My eyes were bloodshot red from the endless tears I cried for you.

My eyes were damn near swollen and closed shut from the amount of time and effort I put into you.

My heart had been left alone but when you shoved your weapon just slightly farther into my waist i could feel it in my heart.

Thats what happened when i gave you my everything.

This is what I got in return.

That's what it felt like when I handed you the world.

And that's what it felt like when i got a double switch blade, with just a switch of a button, in my body, permanently.