Love and Marriage: The Love Story of Nancy and Frank: Book I

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 13 (v.13) - Why Does A Man Cuss

Submitted: August 29, 2019

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Submitted: August 29, 2019




Chapter 13

Why Does A Man Cuss?


I wrote a letter to Frank about the increase in cuss words in his letters to me.  The following letter is his explanation for why a man cusses.


April 9, 1968 

Dear Nancy, 

Girl, I am severely disappointed in you.  I got three letters from you today and the 3rd one, (April 6), made me feel very bad.  You know I love you very much and for me to love someone commands a great deal of respect for that person.  I respect you more than I have respected anyone in my entire life.  I asked you to marry me and be my wife. 

Nancy marriage to me is one of the most important and wonderful things that can happen to a man, and I'm the type that wouldn't make the decision of getting married to someone I didn't respect. 

I cuss in my letters to you because up here everyone cusses all the time and cussing for us is a way to relieve inner tensions.  I'm sorry if you feel that my cussing is being disrespectful to you because that is entirely wrong and you should know it by now.  I cuss because that is something a man does to relieve the feelings inside.  If I get mad I cuss, if I'm happy I cuss, and if I'm trying to express myself or describe something, I cuss.  It's just natural for me.  I hate that you think that I have no respect for you because I do and if my cussing makes you think that then I'll quit when I'm around you. 

I'll do anything you ask to show that I love you and respect you to the utmost.  If you only knew how much I really love you, miss you, and respect you, you would know better than to think that.  You said that you have gained respect for yourself.  You've learned all the things I told you, you would about yourself.

Girl, just remember one thing, I love you and respect you very much and I always will.  This letter is not to fuss you out or anything, but I just wanted to explain how I felt and try to answer your question and ease your mind.  Nancy, my heart aches at night for you.  I miss you terribly, and I'll be so glad when I get to be with you again.  (Same old thing).  I know in every letter I say about the same thing, that I'll be glad when you and I'll be together again but that is utmost in my mind. 

I got Moma's brownies yesterday (Monday), and three letters from you postmarked 4, 5, 6, now do you believe that the mail is screwed up?  I'm writing this from the CQ desk, where I have duty at 3-4 in the morning, and it's 5 to 4 now, and we get up 4:25, so as soon as my relief comes down, I'll have to cut it off and try to catch 25 more minutes of sleep. 

He is here now so goodbye for now. 

All My Love, 


P.S.  I think you are the most beautiful and nice girl I have ever known and I'm very proud to call you my fiance' and future wife.


Well, from the response I got from Frank, it seems that I was a little rough on him in my letter from the 6th of April 1968.  Frank had never cussed around me or in spoken words to me, so I was a little shocked as his letters kept increasing with more and more cuss words which made me wonder how much he respected me. 

After I wrote to Frank about the cussing, he never wrote another cuss word in a letter to me but just to let me know that he was deliberately leaving the cuss words out of his letters just for me, he would substitute the appropriate number of dashes, one to represent each letter in the cuss word,  exactly one dash for each letter.  

I love how he loved me, I loved how he would do anything for me, and I knew that I would always have to be very careful not to change him too much but to change myself to accept him just the beautiful way he was because he was such a very special person.

The next letter spans over five days.  I have dated it April 15, 1968, because that is the date it is postmarked. 


April 15, 1968

Dear Nancy,

Darling, please believe me nothing the Army or anyone else could do to me could ever change the way I feel about you. Now quit feeling sorry for yourself and pick your head up like my future wife and fly right.  I love you very much and I always will.  All my life I've waited for someone who loved me and that I loved with all my heart and I finally found her.

So, baby, you know I love you with all my heart, so please believe in me, please.  I can't look you in the eyes and tell you, so believe me when I tell you I love you.I'll finish this letter tomorrow or later because I have to go to bed and we have guard duty for 24 hours tomorrow.

Well, we had guard duty last night, and it was rough.  We had to travel in twos with fixed bayonets because the guards had been getting jumped and robbed.  But nothing happened.

Here I am sitting on my _ _ _ _ and it's 15 to seven, and we have shots at 7:25 p.m. and an inspection in class A's tomorrow at 8:00 a.m.  We packed all of our gear this afternoon and Monday morning at 4:00 a.m. we leave for bivouac.

the M14 rifle.  If you hit 30 or under you be-lowed (didn't qualify), if you get 31 to 44 you won a marksman badge, 45 to 60 sharpshooter badge, 60 to 84 for an expert.  You got 56 rounds and 56 targets on the first range and 40 rounds and targets on the second range.  I was nervous and goofed up on the first range and got only 22 hits. So, on the next one, I had to relax, so I could qualify. So, I got 24 of 28 one of the best fired all day. So, I got 46 out of 84 and will get a sharpshooter badge or medal on graduation day.  Jim also will get a sharpshooter.

I'm sitting here shooting the bull, and all I can think of is I love you.  Nancy, this is Sunday, and I'm in no hurry or anything, so I'll try to write where you can read it.  I realize the parts written Wed. And Fri., are hard to read but I wanted to get a few lines off with the thought of finishing it, but as usual, I didn't have time.

Lou, yesterday I guess was the loneliest day in my entire life, It was Saturday, and only 35% of the men were supposed to get leaves that meant three out of each squad (13 men), so I told our Sergeant I didn't want one so a couple of my buddies who live in St. Louis and Chicago could go home. Well, there are about 6 of us left in my platoon and about 10 on our floor.Everyone was talking about going home and all so they all thanked me and said they really hoped I got a leave after Basic so I could get married.

So, Jim, Steve and I and a couple of other guys went to the EM Club and then came back.  All we heard on the jukebox were songs that made me feel that much lonelier.  Songs like "A Coming Home Soldier," "Soul and Inspiration," "I'm Mr. Lonely," and many others that really got to me.  We had one guy in our room who almost got bashed yesterday by me. He kept singing "Beautiful People," and that song really gets to me. Darling, I love you and miss you so much I can't think of anything but you.

Nancy, I want to clear one thing up now.You ask me if I will ever change my mind, and you are afraid that I will. You said I probably felt the same way about you at one time, but you said you loved me and would never change your mind.  I have never doubted you or even considered you changing your mind because I know you love me.I love you very much and will never change my mind or change the way I feel about you.  Write and ask Jim what I’m always talking about.  I eat, sleep, and talk Nancy.  Girl, don’t ever doubt my love for you again because it’s there, believe me, it doesn’t die, it just grows and grows.  I don’t know how, but it does.

I’ve been thinking, and May 11th sounds alright to me but don’t plan on that day yet because I’m not sure but write me and give me your opinion on the day.  The only reason on a thought of the 11th was that Crowley is in school and couldn’t get off until the third weekend and Steve said he and his wife could make it by then also.  The 11th is not definite because I still don’t know how much or if I get any time after basics.  My orders are in, but I won’t get them for ten more days.  So let me know what you think about it because if you don’t like it, I’ll think of something else.

Nancy, your letters are about all that keeps me going because I enjoy hearing from you so much.  I know you probably like to hear from me every now and then also but I really try to write every chance I get, so don’t get depressed if I don’t get off more letters because I try to honestly.  Well, only three weeks to go and they are going to be ruff.

We lost the Battalion Train fire Streamer by 7/10 of a point.  Delta company won it, and our SOI (Senior Drill Instructor) was mad.  So we are working hard to win the PT Streamer.  Lloyd knows how I feel about you, doesn’t he?  You had better straighten up, or we’ll have a hymn book session when I get home.

Don’t ever stop loving me.  Your love is the most cherished thing I possess.  I will never do anything to damage the way you feel about me.  I want to be with you forever, and I’ll do everything in my power to make you a good husband and make you happy at all times.  You are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I thank God every night for your love and for bringing me such a wonderful person as you.

ALL my Love for a Lifetime,


P.S.  I have enclosed some pictures of myself.  They are not good, but what can you expect from a person like me, anyway?  Give my parents a few if you don’t mind.  Nancy, I love you more than I can ever tell you and the happiest day in my life will be the day you become my wife.


Frank was getting busier, and I was too, but we were trying to communicate as much as possible.  Frank still did not have his orders, so the wedding date was up in the air.  Frank's Mom, my Mom and I were doing all we could do until we got a definite date from Frank on his Graduation date and we still did not know if he would get leave to come home before his next assignment.  

So many ifs but even more prayers were being said.  I knew in my heart that I could not let Frank go off to his next assignment without becoming his wife first, and I knew he felt the same way. 



Check out Nancy Lou Henderson's Book

Love and Marriage: The Love Story of Nancy and Frank: Book I

Love is like new wine which will be aged then tested over and over before it becomes a great wine. The same is true of love. A love between two people to become lasting and eternal will be tested, as it ages. Marriage takes both people working together

© Copyright 2019 Nancy Lou Henderson. All rights reserved.


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