I am not Julia

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Taylor has a best friend and when she is gone, he has to replace her. How can a boy take the place of his best friend, who is a girl?

Submitted: August 24, 2019

A A A | A A A

Submitted: August 24, 2019



1. Best Friends

No, I am not Julia. My name is Taylor. We both are 11 and best friends. I know she is a girl and I am a boy, but it is allowed for a boy and girl to be best friend. I actually forgot how we became friends. We just were always friends. To tell you the truth, I forgot how we became friends. According to Julia, we became friends the first day in kindergarten. I was being sad in a corner because my mom left me there. Julia saw me nearly in tears and came over to play with me. She thought I was cool because I was not afraid to play with Barbies. Since then we have been best friends, and despite she didn't live that close to me, we were often together. Of course, everyone thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend. This was not true. I didn't think of her as a girl. She was just a friend!

Julia had no Dad, so she was like me. My dad disappeared when I was born. He was not ready for the responsibility of being a dad. Julia's Dad died. That was sadder. That is one thing we never did speak a lot about.

This story must start somewhere, so it may as well be shortly after we were 11. Believe it or not, I was never on a sleepover with Julia. I kept nagging her and asking her, but she always changed the subject. However, now she said it was OK. I don't know why I was so excited about a sleepover, but I counted the days until it was time for it.

Julia's house was pretty much like any other home. It was very tidy and hard to find any dust. Julia was dressed in a frilly dress and tights. She looked like a girl from some old TV show. She invited me to her room. I know Julia is a girl, but I didn't expect her to have such a princess bedroom. It had a canopy bed and fluffy carpet, It had a huge dollhouse and loads of teddy bears

I didn't know what to do, so I just sat on the bed. Julia walked around and said she really did not have anything for boys. I smiled and said her room was very nice and much tidier than mine. This broke the ice as we both started laughing, Then I sat at her table and looked at all the things she had for her hair. She had long hair, so she had so many elastics and hair decorations. I was surprised she even had them, as she never wore them to school.

Julia just smiled and said that my hair was long for a boy. She dared me to let her do my hair. So after a half an hour of her tugging at my hair, and we were giggling, I had butterflies in my hair and pigtails like Julia. Julia teased that I could actually look like a girl. Actually, she was a bit serious when she said that! I did not think it was funny and started taking all the things out of my hair.

Julia's mother was standing at the bedroom door and smiled as she saw me take the things out of my hair. It was time for dinner. Her mother was a great cook. She was smiling and very nice. She told me I could sleep over any time. Eating dinner there was a fun experience. Everyone was smiling and laughing and having a good time.

Afterwards, her mother suggested that Julia show me one of her DVDs. Julia said she had none that I would like. Her mom won in the end and for the next two hours, I was watching a Barbie film. Julia kept on apologizing and telling me she is sorry she doesn't have the Avenger films or something. I was a guest so I told her not to worry. The film was not that bad. It did tell a story and I didn't really mind it.

After, we were getting ready for bed. I put on my Iron man pajamas. Julia got changed in the bathroom. When she came back. She had a nightdress.

" You know I never wanted you on sleepovers," she asked

" Yes."

" Its because I have secrets I did not want you to know."

" oh"

" Besides my mum treats me like a princess and makes me wear frilly dresses and things, I have a big secret. I didn't want you to hate me or tell the whole school."

" I am your friend and I could never hate you!"

" Well, this is hard to say. I am a bed-wetter. I wet the bed so I need to wear diapers."

I didn't know what to say at first. I heard of bed-wetters but never thought that they would be wearing diapers when they were 11 years old. I could see that Julia was nearly in tears waiting for a reaction. I didn't know what to say so I told her that it didn't matter. No one could see the diaper under the nightdress.

I didn't think about the diaper or the way she was treated after the sleepover. It was a fun weekend and I would love that we had more sleepovers. When we were walking home from school, I told her that the sleepover was fun. She should come to my house sometime where we could have a sleepover. She was quiet all day at school and asked if I thought she was weird because she wet the bed and was treated like such a princess. I smiled and reminded her that she was a friend. I respected that she had problems when she slept and it would get better! The main thing is we always been friends and would be friends forever!

This made her happy and she did a small dance of happiness. Julia was in a great mood as she said goodbye and said we could have sleepovers at any time. She even suggested every weekend.

As Julia was crossing the street, she was in such a good mood, that she did not notice anything. Everything went so fast. An old woman driving a car drove into Julia. I could see Julia's body flying through the air. I rushed to her and I was in tears. She was in pain but managed to smile telling me that we may have to cancel this weekends sleepover. I did my best to smile and show that I was not worried. Julia knew me well and could see that I was worried. She told me that it did not hurt.

An ambulance came and took Julia to the hospital.

I ran home and told mom that we need to go to the hospital. I quickly told her what happened and Mom said we should go straight away. On the way, we stopped at a flower shop to buy some flowers.

In the car, I looked out the window. There was so much going through my head. The accident happened so fast. I was so worried about Julia and wondered how many bones she broke. I was also mad at Julia. Why did she not look when she crossed the road? I was mad at myself for not reminding her to look. I was mad at the old woman for driving. It seemed like I was mad at the whole world. Now we would have to see if Julia would be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. I promised myself that I would help her as much as I could.

When we came to the hospital, we found where Julia was. The nurse told us not to go in. Then she told us the words I thought I would never hear. Julia was dead. She died on the way to the hospital. I could not believe what I heard. I rushed past the nurse and went to Julia and begged her to wake up. I did not believe that my best friend could be dead. She looked as if she was asleep. Tears were flowing from my face as she just "slept" there while I begged her to wake up. Mom came in and helped me to move away from her, We sat on a sofa outside the room.

I do not know what mom was saying. She was going on that at least Julia had no more pains and was in heaven. I could not believe that the best friend I had for most of my life was now gone. I would never get to see her smile or hang around with her at school. There would be no sleepovers. How could someone that been a huge part of my life be suddenly gone? I mean who would know that the sleepover would be our only one and it would be the last time that we walked home.

Julia was dead. My best friend was dead.

I was dressed in black at Julia's funeral. I have been crying for days and I knew the funeral was the last chance that I could say goodbye to her. It was hard to believe that she was in a coffin. The funeral was so sad, especially when the coffin was lowered in the ground.

Julia's mother started screaming and crying when the coffin was lowered. She did not want to believe that her daughter was dead. She begged for them not to lower her underground, where it would be so dark. My mom put her arm around Julia's mom's shoulder and reminded her that her daughter was now in heaven.

"You still have your child!" Julia's moms shouted.

The next few days were bad for me. I suppose they call it mourning. I did not want to go to school but mom said it was best for me. I do not see how, as everything at the school reminded me of her. Mom said that time would help, and I suppose this was right, as every day became better.

It took me a few weeks to get over the death of Julia. I still missed having my best friend. I kept thinking of Julia's mother. She was alone now and the house should be so empty. I kept on thinking that I would visit her, but I did not have the guts to do so.

About 3 weeks after the funeral. I was walking home Julia's mother pulled aside me in her car. She told me that my mom asked her to drive me home. I sat in the car and was very quiet. I did not know what to say to her. It would be bad if I said that I accepted that Julia was dead and had moved on in my life. I knew that this would be impossible for any mother.

She told me that we had to go to her house first. She also asked me to give her my cell phone which was a bit strange. When I gave it to her, she said she did not like children having one.

We went into her house. It seemed so empty that Julia was not there. She took my hand and led me to Julia's bedroom which looked the same. Without saying anything, she shut the door and locked me in the room.

I could not come out, Why did she lock me in the room?

2. Crazy

I was now in Julia's room, which was a strange place to be. I was only here once before and that was a sleepover. It did not occur to me that Julia's mom had kidnapped me. I was so confused as to why she locked me in. Was it some type of a game or something.?I had nothing to do, so I just sat in a corner. I didn't cry and I was not afraid, because I was sure that she would open the door and say it was just for fun.

Time went by and then I started becoming more worried. I was thinking about mom wondering why I was so late. She would be worried. I started to think that mom did not ask Julia's mother to pick me up. Maybe she wanted to kidnap me. The big question is why would she want to do that. None of this made any sense. I started to think that she was jealous of mom that she had a son.

Did Mrs. Sullivan (Julia's mother's name) want to harm me?

After what seemed hours, she came to the door and put some food down in front of me. There was no emotion in her face and she said nothing. I tried telling her that mom was waiting for me and I needed to go home. She said nothing and gave me a fork so I could eat. By now I was crying and begging her to let me go. I promised that I would tell no one that she locked me in the room. Mrs. Sullivan wiped a tear from my face and told me that I was home. She locked the door again.

I was alone. I was crying as I now understood that she kidnapped me. I could have run out the door. I was too afraid that she may hurt me. I tried opening the window but it was locked. It never occurred to me that I could have broken the glass. Looking back at it, there were so many things I could do to break free. However, I just accepted Julia's room as a cell and did not think so much about trying to get out.

I did bang at the door and beg Mrs. Sullivan to let me out. I could hear that she just turned up the TV and ignore me.

I could see outside that it was dark. I closed my eyes and prayed that mom was not worried and she was not crying that I did not come home. I decided there was nothing to do except to sleep in Julia's bed.

I did not sleep that well.

The next morning, Mrs. Sullivan came in and told me it was time to get up.

" Can I go home today?" I asked.

" You are home Julia!" Mrs. Sullivan responded, " Everyone told me that you were dead. I was ready to kill myself but then I saw you walking home from school."

" I am not Julia! I am Taylor!"

" Do not try to trick me anymore! You can dress like your friend, but it was very bad of you to make everyone think you were dead. You do not want my death on your conscience, so do not try to make me believe you are dead."

" I-I-I..."

" But now you are home. You are grounded, little lady. You are to stay in your room until I say so, Now, let us get you dressed."

I was speechless. Mrs. Sullivan thought I was Julia! This was confirmed when she took the clothes I was wearing the day before and put them in a plastic bag. Then she gave me a pastel-colored summer dress and told me to put it on. I had no idea how to put a dress on. This made Mrs.. Sullivan smile and helped me get dressed. When she was done, I had Disney panties on, frilly ankle socks and the summer dress.

Mrs. Sullivan gave me a hug and told me that she was happy that I was home. Then she locked me in the room.

I looked in a mirror and could not believe my eyes. I looked like a boy wearing a dress! I looked like a sissy! I did not look one bit like Julia. What was happening to me? Julia's mother was now crazy as she thought I was her daughter. If I tried to escape, she would just kill herself and I did not want to be responsible for that. The big question is what should I do? There was only one answer. I had to survive and hope that Julia's mother could see reality again.

Wearing a dress was strange, It was like I needed pants as I could fear the air against my legs. It also made me feel pretty, which I did not know what to think about. I did not want to get it dirty or anything like that. Wearing a dress screwed with my mind a lot. I tried telling myself that I was a boy, but this was so hard to see when I looked in the mirror.

Time went by so slow when I was locked in the room. So I sat down on the floor and looked at the dollhouse. Then I slowly started playing with it and in no time I was emerged in pretending that a family lived there. The family was a happy family and they had lots of fun. Mom would bake cakes and the children would help. At night, they would sit around and see a film while eating popcorn. Then at bedtime, the parents would sit and read stories while they tucked the children in bed.

I never really played with anything girlish before, so I was surprised how fun that playing with the dollhouse was. It was like that it took me to another world, where I could forget all my problems.

After I played with the dollhouse, I decided to tidy the room. So I made the bed and put the teddy bears against the pillow. There was not much to tidy up, so I started looking through Julia's things. She had so many dresses like a princess would wear. I also found the bags of diapers and remembered that she wet the bed. She had so many dolls that they filled a full box.

I picked up a nice doll and started holding it. It was like as if the doll was real. I promised that I would take care of her and no one would harm her.

Then I noticed a picture on her side table. It was behind the lamp. It's amazing that I never noticed it before. It was a picture of Julia and me. We had our arms around each other and smiling. I do not remember when the picture was taken, but it showed that we were best friends. I held the picture and cried on the bed.

Was Julia looking down from heaven? Was her ghost here? Could she see that I was kidnapped? What would she do if she was here? As I was on her bed, I cried as I missed her so much. In a way, I could understand that her mom went crazy.

Then her mom came in and told me that it was time to fix my hair. She noticed that I was crying and gave me a hug saying that all will be fine. She told me that she was mad at first that I cut my hair, but it was good that she was good at fixing hair. For the next hour or so, she started putting hair extensions in my hair. I was looking in the mirror as she did this. My boy's hairstyle was slowly disappearing and it was getting long. The hair extensions were now way past my shoulder. It hurt a bit as she put the extensions on, but worse than that, I felt that my identity was being destroyed. I was beginning to look more and more like a girl.

When she was done doing this, she braided my new hair into some pigtails. I wanted to shout at her that I was not Julia, but I also knew that she would probably go and kill herself. I did not want this to happen.

I looked in the mirror when she was gone, and for a brief moment, I saw Julia in the mirror. It made me realize how serious this kidnapping was. I was no longer Taylor. Mrs. Sullivan has killed him and made me into her daughter!

She told me that since I was a good girl, I could eat dinner with her and come out of the room. So for the next hour, I sat in the kitchen and ate some food. I said it before, but Mrs. Sullivan was a good cook. She was smiling as I ate and told me that she missed when we ate together. I just ate and said nothing. I was hoping that she would suddenly realize that she kidnapped me. This did not happen. She was telling me how to eat in a ladylike manner.

I helped her clean up afterward. I always hated cleaning up but it was better than being locked in the room. Mrs. Sullivan told me that she stopped with her job. She wanted to be with me all the time, so nothing bad would happen to me again. Again, I said nothing and just dried the plates.

" I see you are worried princess," she continued. " When your grandfather died, my mother got most of the money, However, he provided me with a good allowance and we can live off of that!"

After we were done, we went and sat on the sofa. The news was on TV. I was surprised when there was a piece about me disappearing. The newscaster said that I was kidnapped on my way home from school. They found my clothes thrown in a field outside town and presumed that some wicked man kidnapped me and killed me. They were still searching for my body.

Then mom was on TV. It looked like she did not sleep for ages. She was crying as she begged the public to help her find my body. She told the newscaster that she would not believe I was dead until they found my body!

Mrs. Sullivan sighed when she saw it. She told me she knew I was worried that my friend was dead, but at least I was safe. I wanted to scream once again and say that I was Taylor and could she see how sad my mom was because she thought I was dead.

As I was about to speak, she told me it was time for bed.

As Mrs. Sullivan helped me take off my dress, she told me to lay on the bed. Before I could think of what she was doing now, she put a diaper on me. It felt like a huge thing between my legs. Like I was wearing 100 pairs of panties. I felt like such a baby. It didn't help that I started to cry, and say that I did not wet the bed. Mrs. Sullivan put a pacifier in my mouth and told me not to talk nonsense. Of course, Julia wet the bed. So as far as Mrs. Sullivan was concerned, I needed to use a diaper.

Mrs. Sullivan left me and I notice this time that she did not lock the door.

This was my chance! I could escape. This whole kidnapping was very weird. Mrs. Sullivan thought I was her daughter and yet she managed to throw my clothes in some field as if and make everyone think someone killed me. Did she not know what she was doing then?

I got up and walked to the door. This was no easy thing to do as it was hard walking with a thick diaper on. I most likely looked like I was walking like a duck! When I was about to open the doorknob, I started to think again. What would happen if I escaped? Mrs. Sullivan said that she would kill herself if she could not live with her daughter. I would be the blame for her suicide. What about if she caught me? Would she get so crazy that she would kill me? This was a thought that scared me. If she knew that I was not Julia, she could harm me. Even if I did escape, then she would end up in prison and I did not want her there.

The fact was that I now had a special connection with her. She was the mother of my best friend, and that was enough that I did not want anything bad to happen to her! I also knew that Mrs. Sullivan was a nice lady and she did not harm me since I was kidnapped. I cared about her and did not want her to die or be put in prison.

I thought that this kidnapping was part of her grief. It must be the worse thing for a mother when her child dies. She kidnapped me because her mind could not accept this. I figured that in time, she would remember and then know what she has done to me. She would let me go and I would tell no-one what happened.

That was my plan.

I went back to bed and smiled thinking at least I would not need to get up and go to the toilet. I suppose this was my way of trying to be positive. I tucked in the doll I had all day and sang her a lullaby mom always sang to me.

The next day, Mrs. Sullivan woke me up. She took off my nightdress and diaper and told me to lay on the bed. I told her I do not need diapers in the daytime. She smiled and told me that she was thinking that I was not that old. It would be safer if I wore them. Mrs. Sullivan said I would not need diapers when I was a big girl and started at school. I clutched on to the doll as she put a pacifier in my mouth and dressed me in a diaper and puffy dress, so I looked like I was a toddler.

Julia's mother was becoming crazier.

Just then the doorbell rang. Mrs. Sullivan told me to stay quiet as it looked like she went white.

I heard her open the door and my heart jumped when I heard it was my real mom. She was asking if Mrs. Sullivan had seen me. Mrs. Sullivan said that she did not and she hoped that no one harmed or killed me. Mom kept on talking and most likely was hoping to be invited in for some coffee. Mom was crying and saying how hard that I was gone and not knowing what happened to me. Mrs. Sullivan tried her best to console mom saying that she understood and she would pray for mom.

I could have kicked myself. I could have shouted or run out of the room. However, I just sat down against the door as tears were flowing down my cheeks. No matter what I did, something bad would happen. I was sure that my plan that Mrs. Sullivan would start thinking straight again would work. Julia was dead. I did not want anything bad to happen to her mom.

Still, I let my mom cry at the door not knowing I was only a few feet from her!

When mom went, Mrs. Sullivan came back with a suitcase. She started throwing some of the dresses and other clothes in it. I just stayed there thinking maybe she knew finally that I was not Julia. This was especially when she packed her clothes. Maybe she would let me go and was planning on going underground so she did not have to go to prison.

She took my hand and told me we were going for a drive. I smiled and asked her where we would be going.

" We need to go far away from this town. Where it is not dangerous and we will be left alone."

3. Happy Endings

Mrs. Sullivan told me that we were going to “grannies.” I never met Julia's grandmother. I was sure that she could sort everything. It was a long trip and I fell asleep for most of it. When I was awake, Mrs. Sullivan was talking with herself. It was like she had to convince herself that this trip was wise.

“ It is too dangerous in that town,” she mumbled, “ Children die and children go missing... it is too dangerous for us... people would want to bother us all the time... they might not think I can take care of you... They do not understand you're my princess and I want to protect you.”

I told Mrs. Sullivan that I wanted to go home. I told her that I was not Julia and I was Taylor. I was crying as I was begging her to take me home. She did not hear what I said. All she could see was that I was crying and wearing a dress. She gave me a pacifier and told me that we will be happy at grannies. The important thing is that we would be safe! She promised me that I would love it there and I would have many friends when I was old enough to go to school.

I did not know who was crazier. Was it Mrs. Sullivan that thought I was her toddler daughter? Did the grief of losing her own daughter screw with her mind so much that she could not see that I was a boy that she put in a dress and diaper? There was no doubt that this woman was totally crazy and needed to be in a padded cell!

What about me? I put up no fight as she slowly changed me to a sissy. I did not fight when she put extensions in my hair, or when she put a diaper and dress on me. I did not even spit the pacifier out. There were many times I could have escaped and I could have screamed when my mom was at the door, so she could hear me. I accepted her treating me like her daughter. The fact was that I was now sitting in a car in public, and anyone that could see me would think that I was a girl. I was afraid to escape at what may happen. You never know what crazy people would do. This being said, I must have been just as crazy for allowing everything to happen.

After 5 hours of driving, we finally came to grannies house. It was a nice old house in a small town. It was like one you would hear about that people would love to own. It was a two-story house with a nice garden and white fence and flowers

Granny was surprised to see us. I think she was most surprised to see me. She starred at me as I came in and was silent when Mrs. Sullivan called me Julia. She invited us to sit and have some lemonade. The old woman did not say much when we arrived. She just acted like nothing was strange.

While we were drinking lemonade, Mrs. Sullivan told her mom that she was moving back home. Then she explained how dangerous it was where we lived. Children died or went missing. She kept on saying that it was not safe. She changed the subject and told her mom that she bet that it would be hard for her to recognize me. I could have laughed when granny looked at a picture on the wall of Julia and then back and me and admitted that I did change quite a lot. Mrs. Sullivan explained that I grew so quickly.

Granny heard enough. She told me that I should go up to the room Mrs. Sullivan had as a girl. I was hoping that she would call the police straight away. The thought went through my mind that now I had to deal with two crazy women. Most likely, it ran in the family! She showed me the room and told me that she would be back.

The room was a princess room with pictures of Disney princesses on the wall. I smiled when I saw there was a dollhouse. Otherwise, it looked like a girls room from a half-century before. I sighed as I put the suitcase on my bed and slowly took out all the dresses, blouses and skirts as well as tights. There were, of course, no pants that could have helped remind me that I was really a boy. There were no panties which told me that wearing diapers were going to be part of my life. This was confirmed by the pacifiers and even baby bottle that I found in the suitcase.

I heard the two women talk below. I did not know what they were saying, but at times their voices were very loud, so they must have been arguing. Most likely granny was asking who I really was and telling Mrs. Sullivan that Julia was dead. I continued unpacking for some reason, although the police could be knocking the doors down to save me. The voices calmed down and it was quiet.

I dared not go down. I just sat down by the dollhouse and played with it. A small family lived in it. It had a mom and dad and a son. The dad was never home. He was always working! The mom was a good one, but she was worried. Her son was very feminine and liked wearing girl clothes. In fact, the boy considered himself a girl and thought God made a mistake in giving him a boys body. His mom was worried about having a sissy son. This was especially because people teased him and his dad was ashamed of him. However, the sissy boy had enough love from his mom and she even started to think of him as her daughter.

My playtime with the dollhouse was interrupted. Mrs. Sullivan said that we needed to go to the shop. This made my heart race quickly as it meant that I would be in public dressed like a girl. I tried telling Mrs. Sullivan that I did not want to be seen with a dress on. She smiled and told me not to be such a tomboy. I told her that I was a boy and I was not Julia. Again she did not listen, she just said that we needed to change my diaper before we went.

So I was put on the bed and the old diaper was taken off. Granny was there. It was embarrassing that she could see my private parts when the diaper was taken off. I wondered if she would faint knowing that I was really a boy. I stopped thinking about how Mrs. Sullivan could not see it. She was just crazy. The question was if Granny was just as crazy.

The trip to the store was the most frightening experience in my life. I was worried people would see that I was a boy and think I was a sissy. Walking through the shop doors must have been the most courageous thing I ever have done. I also noticed a missing picture of me on the door. Would people notice it was me or would they just think I was a girl?

It was easier than I thought. People just saw me as a girl and took no notice of me. There were only two incidents that went wrong.

The first was a woman that came up and asked if I was famous. Mrs. Sullivan laughed and said not. The woman explained that she saw me somewhere before. Of course, she did, she saw the missing poster on the door. As she walked away, I sighed thinking I was too much of a coward to tell her who I really was.

The second incident was more embarrassing. This girl who was about 8 was staring at me. Then she tugged at her mom's skirt and said in a very loud voice that I was wearing a diaper. Her mother blushed and told her to stop making things up. Things got worse when Mrs. Sullivan said in a loud voice that we mustn't forget that I needed to get more diapers. She also said that I needed a new baby bottle and bibs. The little girl told her mom “I told you so” and asked why a big girl would wear diapers. The mother did not know and praised her little girl for being potty trained. I started crying hoping that the ground would swallow me. I should never have started crying because Mrs. Sullivan put a pacifier in my mouth.

When we got back to Grannies house, I ran to my room. Now I was seen as an old girl wearing diapers. What was happening to me?

Granny came up and sat down on the bed. She told me that she knew that I was not Julia and she suspected I was someone from Julia's class. I broke down in tears and told her the whole story. I told her that Julia was my best friend, and I missed her so much. I told her that it was so strange being Julia and living the life she had. Julia was gone and I missed my mother. At the same time, I was afraid of what would happen if I told people who I really was or tried to escape.

Granny gave me a hug and told me that she understood. She also missed Julia. The problem was that her daughter's mind has been affected because of the death of Julia. Mrs. Sullivan had no doubt that I was Julia. The thing granny was worried about was what would happen to her daughter if she was forced to accept reality. Granny was worried that Mrs. Sullivan's mind would break. She would either be very violent or end up as a vegetable.

Granny told me to give it a week or two, so she could try and slowly bring her daughter back to reality. She could see that I did not want to do this so she added that I should do it for Julia. How could I ever say no to this? I would do anything for Julia. She gave me a hug and told me that she was so grateful.

I asked about my mom and said she was so sad and worried. Granny did not answer but changed the subject by saying I was good at being a girl. She told me I must enjoy the nice dresses and life as a girl

I did not comment but noticed I had a doll in my hand.

The two weeks went slowly by. There was no change. I was still Julia and living her life. I wore one pretty dress after another. Mrs. Sullivan would use a lot of time brushing my hair and putting it in pigtails. I could not see that she was becoming more normal. In fact, she was becoming crazier. She was treating me more and more like a baby. I had diapers on most of the time and used things such as pacifiers and bottles. She even made me sit in a high chair.

One day, she said she had a surprise for me. So Mrs. Sullivan and I went on a drive. I was used to being in public now, so it did not bother me as much. She told me we were going to water-world. I loved swimming and did not even consider the problems it could have by swimming.

I would soon find out.

Things started well. We got changed and I had this one-piece swimming costume on. It was pink with Barbie as a mermaid on the front of it. I did not complain, To be honest, I did not think about being a boy anymore. It was like that I just considered myself a girl as I acted and did things like a girl. Maybe this was after weeks of living as one and maybe I was brainwashed.

Swimming was fun as we splashed around in the water. I think it was the first time in weeks that I was so happy. The other times I was happy was when I was taking care of my doll or playing with the dollhouse. Now, I was splashing around in the water and having fun. I wished that this would never end.

Everything went fine until we were done, and ready to go back to the female changing rooms to get changed. This was no problem when we came as we got changed in a cubical so no-one could see me.

“ Sorry, you cannot go in there.” a lifeguard said.

“ What is the meaning of this?” Mrs. Sullivan asked

“ Transgenders must get changed in the handicapped changing room. This is our policy”

“ How dare you call Julia a transgender. She is just different than other girls.”

The lifeguard pointed down at my privates and the swimming costume clearly showed a sign that I was not a girl. This embarrassed me and I wondered how many others in Water-land could see the same. The lifeguard said that he would call the police if we argued about where we should get changed.

Mrs. Sullivan was upset when we waited for our clothes and when we got changed in the handicapped room. She was saying that we were treated wrong, and how dare people imply that I was a sissy. I tried telling her that people did not have to be blind to see it, but once again she did not hear me. Mrs. Sullivan was in a bad mood all the way home. I just sat and thought how crazy could she be, that she did not see what others have seen,

The whole experience was a lot for everyone. Mrs. Sullivan thought that the world was crazy with all their transgender accusations and she wanted people just to leave us alone. Granny kept on telling me to give her more time, but I was becoming more and more confident that Mrs. Sullivan was becoming battier.

I was also getting more and more concerned. I was still afraid of what would happen if I escaped and the consequences was a responsibility I could not deal with. I missed my mother as much as ever but felt so sorry for my best friends mother. I was doing this for Julia. Is this what she really wanted?

Another thing that worried me was that at times I forgot I was a boy. I was now used to dressing as a girl. I liked looking pretty and I loved when Mrs. Sullivan brushed my hair. The fact was that I should not have wanted to look pretty, but I honestly did! Even the diapers did not bother me anymore. The fact was that weeks of not being on the toilet, I needed them. I had no longer control of my bladder. I even liked the attention I got when I was treated like a baby.

I was now a sissy baby

Mrs. Sullivan came home one day and was in a great mood.

“ Julia,” she announced, “ I have something good to tell you. I met an old school friend who is a surgeon. After some convincing and some money, I have convinced him to have you as a patient.”

“ I don't need to go to the hospital.”

“ Oh, sweet Julia. You must be embarrassed when people point at the bulge in your swimming costume and say you are a boy! Doctor Rivers will make sure you have the body of a girl and no one would be in doubt.”

I ran to my room and threw myself on the bed. Mrs. Sullivan was now so crazy she wanted someone to take a knife and cut any evidence I was a boy from me. She wanted me to be a girl and have a girls body. She wanted no one to be confused or call me transgender again. She was going to...

I did not mind wearing girls clothes or playing like a girl. I did not want anything cut off,

Granny came into the room. I was sure she was going to convince me to go along with the operation. Instead, she gave me a telephone and told me to ring my mother. Then she walked out with tears in her eyes.

Things happened quickly after I spoke with my mom. The police came and arrested granny and Mrs. Sullivan I was led out of the house wearing a dress while the media took pictures of me, and a police car drove me home.

I finally escaped.

Mom was surprised to see me as a girl, but when I told her everything, she told me that I was brave. I was of course in the news for a few weeks, as my story was so special. The main thing was that now home with my mother and things were slowly getting back to normal. It was a great relief when the media thought I was no longer interesting.

Granny was let off as she helped me escape. This being said, her reputation was ruined and people thought she had a strange daughter. She lost her friends and everyone considered her as the crazy woman that lived in the house at the edge of town. When school children heard her name, they would surely be afraid!

As for Mrs. Sullivan. The court wanted to be compassionate with her. After all, she lost her daughter and this should happen to anyone. She was sent to a mental asylum.

As for me, I was once again myself. I once again was wearing boys clothes, which was very strange. I tried not to think about looking pretty, but I could not stop. When mom took me to get my hair cut, I begged her not to cut it short. A compromise was reached, where I had long hair... but not that long.

My bladder was very weak, so I needed diapers until I could strengthen it again. Mom did not like this and I was teased at school. I didn't mind. I felt secure when I had them on and I liked the extra attention I got.

Mom was nice about things. She knew she now had a feminine son, or as some would say a sissy one. She allowed me to keep the doll and she even bought a dollhouse for me. Of course, she thought it was just a phase. It was no phase.

I still had feelings for Mrs. Sullivan, She was like my second mother. I wanted to visit her. Again mom agreed to this. We agreed on a day when we would visit Mrs. Sullivan.

We argued before we went, as when I was ready to go and went downstairs, Mom got mad and said she could not accept it. I was dressed as Julia with a dress, tights, and sandals on. Mom told me to dress as a boy, We had an argument over it as I told her that Mrs. Sullivan did not know me as Taylor. In her eyes, I was Julia. This calmed mom down and she agreed that it was considerate of me.

On the way out to the car, she must have been thinking of it as she said when we got home, we would have a talk about if I felt more like a girl than a boy.

At the Asylum home, Mrs. Sullivan was sitting at a rocking chair singing lullabies to herself.

She smiled at me when she saw me.

“ Julia, they let you visit me! I knew all their talk that you were dead were just their games!

The End

© Copyright 2020 Alexander Temple. All rights reserved.

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