Babyphobic

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic
HORROR.HUMOUR.WEIRD. LUNCH. FLASH FICTION. IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED PLEASE DO NOT READ!

Submitted: September 03, 2019

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Submitted: September 03, 2019

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Babyphobic

 

  I can understand why some women don't want to

have babies, why they're babyphobic, and have

abortions. They're obnoxious pink little things with

their tiny little fingers and toes, and legs, and arms,

and they shit and dribble all the time, and that 

awful green mucus stuff comes out their nose.

  I've had some experience with these wailing

scapegraces, my neighbour Jill, an attractive girl

in an inner city, hairy armpit kind of way, dropped 

her kiddy in for me to baby sit the other morning

while she went off to some welfare agancy.

  It wasn't here for more than five minutes when 

it began screaming its brainless head off. I tried 

ignore it, but I couldn't, its nappy was soaked with

urine, and filled with faeces, so I shoved my mobile

phone down its throat so that it shut up.That

worked!

  It was getting near lunch time, and I was feeling

hungry, so I placed its now bluish little body in 

the baking tray, and set the oven's temperature

on high.

  Some pleasent cooking odours were greeting my

nostrils when I heard Jill knock on the door. I 

expected Jill to be somewhat upset when she

realised I was cooking her little fella. But no, when 

I asked her in, she asked me what was cooking

for lunch, because whatever was cooking smelt 

nice, and she thought she'd stay to eat. And 

when I told her it was her baby, she just said it

was good idea, and that she didn't want it 

anyway.

  I concluded that Jill was a liberated modern

woman of the twenty first century. I nipped 

down the pub to get a nice bottle of wine, and

we had an enjoyable meal.

  Aftterwards, feeling a bit tipsy, I tried to get

Jill into bed, but she wouldn't be in it. I guess 

she didn't want another one, like I say some 

women are babyphobic!

 


© Copyright 2019 tom mcmullen. All rights reserved.

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