The Three Little Pigs, 2019

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Updated version of the story about the Three Little Pigs

Submitted: September 10, 2019

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Submitted: September 10, 2019

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There once were three little pigs, Ryan, Connor and Jess. They all lived in three different house made of different types of material. Ryan's house was made of straw. Connor's house was made of sticks, and Jess's house was made of brick

As Ryan was sitting home in his house of straw, looking at porn in his laptop, he hears a knock at his front door. "Who is it he asks?" A voice came through the door, " My name is Jack Wolf. I'm with the fire department. I need to inspect your structure." Ryan puts away his laptop and pulls up his pants and heads for the door. He opens the door and there he was, not a wolf in sheeps clothing, but a wolf wearing the uniform of a fireman. He had his id and his badge so if Ryan wanted to take down the number and see if he really was a fireman.

He went to his laptop that he shoved under the couch and went to the fire departments web site to check his badge number. And yes, Jack Wolf was a fireman.  With that out of the way, the wolf began the inspection. "First of all, living in a house of straw is very dangerous. This straw would go up in seconds if a fire were to start." he said. Then he went into the kitchen and saw the outlets for the appliances. They were not up to code. After writing up those violations and others that the wolf found, he told Ryan that he would have to vacate the house. Ryan packed up his belongings as the wolf slapped an notice on the front door saying that the properity was condemned

Ryan texted Connor and asked him if he could stay with him till he got another place to live. Connor said sure, come on over. After a few days, Connor heard a knock on his door. "Who is it, Connor asked as he was doing some day trading on his computer. A voice came through the door and said, "I'm with the fire department. I need to inspect the structure." Ryan said to Connor that it sounded like the same wolf who condemned his house. Connor opened the door and the wolf showed him his id and badge number in case he wanted to check. Then the inspection began.

The wolf said, Living in a house made of sticks isn't very safe. The wolf, walking around with his clipboard, checking off things that he felt wasn't safe, the same way he did at Ryan's straw house. When the inspection was done, he informed the two that he would condenm the house for the many safety violations that he had found. They both packed their belongings as the wolf put up a condenmed notice on the front door. Ryan texted Jess to see if they could stay at his place. He replied "Sure, come over i got the room.

Now the three are living at Jess's house that is made of brick. He had solar panels on the roof, and a furnished basement. The three had quite a nice place for themselves. Then one day, there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" asked Jess. A voice cam through the door. "I'm with the fire department, i need to inspect the house." Jess opened the door. It was the same wolf, Jack Wolf actually who inspected the other two pigs houses and condemned them. Jess looked at the wolf's id and badge. the other two pigs confirmed that he was legit. Jess told the wolf to walk around. Jess felt that his house was up to code.

As the wolf walked around, he was checking things off on his clipboard, going "tsk" "tsk". When the wolf went up to Jess and said that he found a number of violations, and that they would have to vacate the place, Jess asked him to wait for a moment. The wolf said "Sure." Jess left the room. When he came back, he had a .44 Magnum, just like Clint Eastwood from the Dirty Harry movies. Jess said to the wolf, "You feel lucky punk? Well do you!" then Jess pulled the trigger and put a hole right in  between the eyes  of the wolf. You could put your fist through it. "No one fucks with my home!" said Jess.

The three pigs began to clean up the room where the wolf had been shot. They wrapped him up in the carpet that was on the floor. They put the wolf's body in the trunk of Ryan's car, along with a container of gasoline that Connor had gotten from the garage. They drove out to a garbage dump on the edge of town. They carried the body of the wolf out of the trunk and into a secluded spot in the dump.Connor poured the gasoline on the body, as Ryan lit up a cigar. Then with his lighter, Ryan threw it on the gasoline soaked body of the wolf. They were all in this together, there was no turning back.

As they drove back home, they saw fire trucks and the police in front of a smoldering house. It was Jess's house that was on fire. They raced down the block and saw that house was engulfed in flames. They got out of the car and Jess was freaking out. He ran up to a cop and said, "This is my fucking house. How did this catch fire!?" The cop wasn't quite sure, but he thinking that it might have been the solar panels that cause it to catch fire.

As the three pigs sat across the street on a curb as Jess's house was being turned to burnt rumble, they felt a presents behind them. They turned around and saw the ghost of the wolf that Jess had just shot. The wolf said to them in an unearthly voice, "Karma's a bitch, aint it!"

 


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