Chapter 1: Prologue

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Reads: 140

Dedication Page
 I’d like to dedicate this book to all the women out there 
Who needs reassurance. For the women out there are who lonely 
Love birds calling for their soul-mates. This book is to 
remind you- that no matter what happens in your life, you are 
a tremendous, Courageous, Beautiful, Intelligent woman who 
just needs a little guidance. I hope this book reminds you of 
how important you are.  I also dedicate this book to my 
lovely angel Rosey. Thank you for being patient with me while Mommy took forever writing this book. Thank you for your love 
which guided me and gave me the stamina and persuasion that I 
required to finish this Novel. Mommy loves you baby.
There are 10 traits that make the female species unbearable. Unlovable. Clingy. Needy. Whatever bullshit names that we’re labeled. I personally can’t stand labels. I'm like hey- You think i’m weird? You think im odd? Guess what? I don’t give a flying bats ass. So what you can’t figure me out. Here is an ideal.. How about you actually take the time to get to know me. Or Hell- simply ask for Fuck Sake! Is it me? Am I the only woman that goes on date after date, thinking each time that this could finally be it. Finally a guy that passes all of my ridiculous requirements? Because face it ladies- Some times, We have ridiculous requirements. Once I figured this out- I decided to well- have no standards. That’s right..I'm talkin: Swanky- Hasn’t showered in a few days, doesn't know where his next meal or mine is coming from? 
Not that I need him to buy my meals- but Shit- Once in a while though right? We have all been there. We have all said and done some things that will make a bitch stop and say: Did I really just do that? Am I really going to waste my time on this individual? Knowing that I shouldn’t? Well your not alone. I applaud you for waking the fuck up. If your reading this- Pat yourself on the back. Your no longer stupid. Clingy. Needy-Or whatever else these men your after call you. In this book we’re going to talk about what makes you unlovable. Your probably scratching your head saying: Unlovable? What makes me unlovable. 
Well If you bare with me- I’ll tell you. I’ll also tell you how to kick that mundane-getting no where frame of mind when it comes to these men that we Love and Hate so much. I’d like to consider you -the reader, a friend. A friend that I can share my dark secrets with. A friend that I expose my lonely frame of mind with. I’ve been broken. Have you? Have you opened your heart and soul to someone who didn't open theirs to you? Your not alone friend. In fact there are hundreds of women who go through the same exact shit. Only difference is- that we don’t know they are going through it- because- A: We don't know these women. And B: We’re too wrapped up in our own shit to even notice the sobbing women that are at bus stops- restaurants or lonely at home. Maybe that is the problem. We’re lonely. And Were searching to find some one to fill that empty void. 
It seems as though your on a mission. A quest to find the one. Well guess what.. The only one I know is Neo from The Matrix. Which is by far was and still is one of the greatest movies. Why- Because it made us think of what if. What if I can really bend time. Change my future by the course of a Red or blue pill. Love is sort of like that. We try and find the blue pill when in actually reality we are the red pill. Or your searching for the blue pill and there was no pill at all. Simular to love. Your searching for something that didn't or exist. Your searching for that beautiful heart warming love that you visioned. But instead you have something wretched. Horrifying. Dim. and Wicked. The traits that I mentioned in the beginning of this book will be discussed in each chapter. Once read you will recognize some of these traits. I will share some personal stories of my life with you- So that way you wont feel like your the only one- once you realize that...Yes- you too have some of these traits. As all of us humans do. But does that make you unworthy of love? For a long time I thought Yes..Yes it does. Sadly I had to endure some painful experiences to find out. Oh, had I hoped there was a manual on how to safe guard my heart. Unfortunately there isn’t one. So I did what we all do when go through a series of misfortunate events. We move on. At least appear to have. 
It’s a shame really. I was shameless. I was that wretched love, that wicked love that was forbidden. I was a mistress. I was lost. And by now you are probably judging me about admitting that I was a mistress. I was a mistress that knew. It wasn’t the typical relationship where a woman falls head over hills for a man- build a life together only to find out that this bastard has 2 kids, a wife, and a mini van with jelly spilled on the seats. - falsely appearing that he is a supposed “family man”. No this wasn’t that. I knew from the beginning that this man was married. I saw. I Came. I Conquered. 
The man did not have a ring on. But a few weeks of getting to know one another He reveals that he is married. But only after I said to him: Since we are trying to get to  know each other- I should ask if you are involved with anyone. Before this goes any further. The man said to me: I’m Married. If that bothers you, I understand. And you know what I said? Well does it bother you, I asked. He replied with the words no- uttered from his sweet lips that I desired. So then I said- Well then it doesn’t bother me either. And that was the last we ever spoke of his marriage. I decided to share that with you to show you that I too have made plenty of mistakes. Mistakes that I regret. And mistakes that I have not made yet. I will go in much more depth of my married man fiasco, later in the book. 
Meanwhile we will continue to focus on why your relationships aren’t working. And not just with men, but also your every day relationships. Why you and your co-workers aren't forging a bond outside of work. Because I soon found out that this was actually a thing. “You mean-hang out with my co-workers after I just worked with them for 8 plus hours? People actually do this? Or why you don’t have many friends or any. Have You ever heard of the acronym BPD? It stands for Borderline Personality Disorder. I know what you’re thinking. Oh Great- I’m crazy. Let’s refrain from that word. Crazy. You are absolutely not crazy. You’re a totally completely sane person. Whom may or may not have lost your way. In this book I will also discuss the mental disorder of having BPD. I have it. And It took me a long time to understand it. I still fully don’t. But after many years of regular therapy as well as cognitive therapy I have gained a better understanding of it. As I said- I will be sharing my utmost deepest secrets with you. Hoping to release myself to you as well as be your guidance to self perseverance. I was afraid to write this book because of the secrets that I will expose. But I firmly believe that if were trying to build relationships, real meaningful relationships; then we must expose our selves. Because how else will you be relatable to some one. Which is something that forges bonds. Being able to relate to someone.
But how does one relate to someone you ask? By Finding common interests. Thoroughly listening to others. Being empathetic. Which trust me- Is something that is harder than it sounds. Being genuine, Being open to differences. And dedicating time. Yes- being unselfish. I’m still learning that. It’s actually a complicated matter. I have been very selfish. But I have also been very giving. Rewarding even. 
 I came across an article- that I found to not only be amusing but informational. According to several articles there are 10 traits that can make you an unlikeable person. We’ll go ahead and start with trait one: Name Dropping. That’s right. We all know that person who can’t seem to hold water. They are like a diarrhea explosion of the mouth. Nothing you say will be kept with the assurance that it will not be repeated.

Submitted: September 11, 2019

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