leave well

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
no matter the places you go, leave well.

Submitted: September 11, 2019

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Submitted: September 11, 2019

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1

i cant remember why

i loved you

and the worst part is

 

"Your pupils don't dilate when you see me."

"So?"

"It bothers me."

 

i dont know if 

i ever did

 

 

2

 

i know im lucky

so foldable

built for it

but what happens when

i cant fold anymore?

 

"What are those?"

"Oh! They're paper stars."

"You have so many. Why?"

"I--Just a bad habit."

 

i lined you

with stars and you

shoved them in a locker

 

 

3

 

i sat at the piano

in a daze, fingers

listless and heavy

hands in yours

you sit next to me

roll up my sleeves

 

"Oh, -----."

 

you would cry

but you didn't know how

 

 

4

 

it makes me ill

thinking about you

makes me 

sick

 

"Your one and only."

"Your one and only."

"Your---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

about to retch

about to cough my

heart up

 

 

5

 

it's hard when you think

about it

i don't love you

i don't even care

but i still think about

all the stupid choices i made

 

"You know I love you."

do you?

"Yeah, I know."

"Good."

 

i hate who i was

malleable, waiting, nice

i'll never be that person

again

 

 

6

 

i spite you

embarassed for being lied to

i see you and feel nothing

but disgust and shame

can you blame me?

 

"You wouldn't waste time on hating me."

 

you're right

for once

you were right

i don't know who i am

but i know who i'm not

 

i don't hate

i hate what you did

but i don't hate you

so

i'm leaving

everything

and i'm leaving well

 

 

7

 

another poem

about the same person

yes

but

dear reader

lovely reader

read on

for this is the last one

read on

and leave well

 

 

8

 

reader!

this is all for you!

find someone who adores you

who wil love you

with everything they have

unflinchingly

 

"I hope you know I'm sorry."

 

love is not 

apologies

so stop, anyone out there,

acting like it is

 

 

9

 

excuses and apologies

love and adoration

excuses and adoration

love and apologies

 

when did we get them

confused?

these strings untie

so untie them

 

"I'm so fucking DONE"

 

leave them

readers

and if they hurt you

take that wellness with you

you deserve to leave

and leave well

 

 

10

 

the end

scrambling words like eggs

it's hard

it's so so hard

 

"I promise."

 

i know

it's hard

but please 

if you're going to leave,

leave

and leave well

 

 

 

 

i'm leaving.

i'm leaving well.

goodbye.

 

 


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