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To Young To Be My Lover

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: September 11, 2019

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Submitted: September 11, 2019



Over and over and over again
Memories of times we spent together
Vividly replay in my dreams
Upon waking each morning
I shamelessly ask God for his patience
As I continue to learn
How to love myself first
I'm unashamed to admit
How often I think about him
Even after everything
That transpired between us
I still dream of him night after night
Why Father ...
Oh why can't I let him go?
Are there still lessons I need to learn
From the relationship we shared?
Deep down in my Soul
I'm haunted by the advice
I so willingly took from others
Warning me that I deserved better
That on the other side of the fence
The grass isn't always greener
Nobody had to know how old he was b'cuz
Instantly I knew people would judge me
Saying he was to young to be my lover
I swore that I didn't give a fuck
B'cuz shamelessly throughout my life
I've always followed my heart
Ignoring guidance from family & friends
Forever throwing caution to the wind
B'cuz my heart always ached to really live
Without one ounce of regret
I crossed over
By flying to meet him
Together that afternoon
We were joined by our flesh
Since then, there's been a hot flame burning
Now, nearly two years later
I still catch myself
As the butterflies take flight
Bouncing off the inner walls of my heart
When I see pictures of him & us
Together as one
It causes me to pause & wonder
Was he my person?
Do we still have unfinished business?
Was it just the wrong time?
What is it about him that continues to lure me
Keeping me awake & unable to sleep
Those are some of the questions
I continue to ask myself daily
What I question the most is
Did I allow the opinions of other's
To cloud my judgement
My thirst for life, love & truth?
Deep down in my heart
If I'm brutally honest with myself
I know why I can't let him go
Even though I've tried to cut the ties
It's because I loved him
I still love him
With God as my witness
It's why I've been unable to move on
I'm incapable of dating other men
B'cuz there's just no comparison
To the memories I hold dearly of him
When I close my eyes for a second
I remember his smile
The way he used to look at me
With his gorgeous brown eyes
The right hand corner of his soft brown lips
Would curl up & he'd flash me
That infamous naughty boy grin
It's then that it becomes crystal clear
Just how much he really meant to me
So much time has passed
However there's still so many nights
That I find myself
Suddenly waking up from a dream b'cuz
It's his voice I continue to hear
Whispering softly in my ear
Hey baby ...
His voice so audible
I often think he's right there
Snuggled up behind me in my bed
It's then I force my eyes wide open
To confirm that I'm just dreaming
B'cuz in reality, I know he's not there
But ... fuck, I wish he was


© Copyright 2019 Elizabeth Wild. All rights reserved.

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