I Just Still Can't Get Close To You Yet

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
taken from my book, "Different Results! PLEASE!!!!!"

Submitted: September 11, 2019

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Submitted: September 11, 2019

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I Just Still Can't Get Close To You Yet

-

You see? "I love you"

And I don't know why

The mountains of loss

__I roll over them

____and die a little more

______after every hill I climb

The loss of ability to talk to women anymore

__have landed me in a loss

____of a little bit of myself

Maybe that dissociated other part of me

__has been dominant much less

____since I came back to life

But I just can't kill myself again

__just to open my mouth again

But I also know

__that since mid spring

____I've been spiraling downwards

Screaming for change!

And not seeing any

I lost my job

Let go of Kelly

Had a short summer

Changed computers

And now my new computer is sick

And in the hospital

And I thought I found some one else

And lost her too

These aren't new things

All these things happened before

But "whether history repeats itself again"

Is the real question

And there you are

And here I am

Wanting you for my own

But seemed to have not changed enough

__to man up

____and take you

______for my own

And so

__with this loss of transformation

____I go back to staying myself

______and give up

________on trying to change

__________all the people

____________places

______________and things

________________that surround me

__________________in and around

____________________my life

______________________in this world

And mosey myself back

__to my shitty little life

That shrinks

__and does not grow

Until I change my perspective

__on life

And change myself

__instead

-

09-11-'19 #1

D. L. Cannon


© Copyright 2019 DLCannon. All rights reserved.

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